Arsenal 0 Borussia Dortmund 2

Arsenal’s Champions League Group D campaign got off to a poor start as Borussia Dortmund scored either side of half-time to secure a deserved victory. Ciro Immobile opened the scoring after powering past Laurent Koscielny to beat Wojciech Szczesny with a low finish. Dortmund doubled their lead when Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang finished another fine breakaway. New signing Danny Wellbeck missed a good chance which proved to be costly in the end. The 23-year-old England forward – who signed from Manchester United earlier this month – fired wide after being put clean through when the Champions League game was goalless in Germany.

After the game manager Arsene Wenger refused to blame individuals for Arsenal’s poor display in Dortmund. “It’s very difficult to go into any individual assessment of any player because as a team we were not at the requested level,” added the Frenchman. Well Arsene, I blame you. What was very evident is that Arsenal are struggling defensively and it is going to take a lot to prevent this season from being a disastrous one. Once again I am amazed that this experienced & successful coach had let defender & ex-captain Tomas Vermalen leave the club before signing the replacements he needed. At that point we needed two more defenders. With the injuries happening this is even more critical. Missing defenders Nacho Monreal, Mathieu Debuchy and Calum Chambers, Arsenal fielded 19-year-old full-back Hector Bellerin, whose only previous senior outing was a 26-minute substitute appearance in a League Cup tie.

Arsenal clearly lost the midfield game as well and the runs from the middle from Dortmund were scary for this Arsenal fan to watch. We need a strong defensive midfielder or two to be added and if they don’t come by January, you can kiss the season goodbye.  And sell the players who spend more time on the injury list than on the pitch – we have too many of those.

 

 

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Bad Corny Jokes

Q. What do you call it when Batman skips church?

A. Christian Bale

Q. Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

A. It got stuck in a crack

Q. What did the duck say to the bartender?

A. Put it on my bill.

Q. What do you call an alligator in a vest?

A. An In-vest-igator

Q. What’s a pepper that won’t leave you alone?

A. Jalapeno Business

Q. Why was the mermaid wearing seashells?

A. She grew out of her B-shells

Person 1: Someone told me you sound like an Owl. Person 2: Who?” Person 1 : OMG! You do sound like an owl!

Q. What is the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

A. One’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

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This entry was posted in Humour.

It’s Not Skin Deep

We’ve all heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Do you agree? is all beauty contingent on a subjective point of view?

Absolutely. Look, there are going to be several things or beings or people who almost everyone considers to be beautiful and absolutely gorgeous. And there’s going to be others that are subjective. Something or someone I find to be absolutely beautiful you may find hideous. Or just plain. Or meh. And vice versa – something you call beautiful I will call for the ghostbusters! Seriously there was this dude, who is the son of a friend of my dad’s, and he introduced me to his “lovely fiance” and out came this she-devil with almost a ton of make up on and I almost ran for the border! Kidding – I did run for the border!

All kidding aside, have you ever ….well you girls who everyone else thinks are just plain or ok looking and you get to know them, discover that they are sweet & lovely human beings and all of a sudden, they look more & more beautiful to you? Yeah, I kind of like that beauty. The one that is more than just skin deep. I am attracted to women who, having met them in real life, I think are gorgeous inside and out and that makes them even more special to me.

So don’t go just by looks. Look closer, look deeper. Get to know the person and their personality. You’d be surprised by the results.

Prompt from the Daily Post at WordPress.com.

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Overload Of Info? Not Really!

“Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.” — Gertrude Stein. Do you agree?

Yes and no. I think it’s important for each person to decide how much and what kind of information he/she wants to get access to. in this day and age, most of us who have homes & internet access can get the most out of all the available information out there. For those of you who choose not to, that’s just sad! And it is just a waste. I mean not everything as to be years of research. For simple stuff all you have to do is spend a few minutes on google and find the right sources for getting clarification on the information and what is right and what is wrong. It’s in front of you and at your fingertips – use it!

I call out all of you who reply to people on social media asking them what something is – instead of typing that out, just google the damn thing! You’ll learn something new and that could lead you to learn even more new things. “Oh so this what it is! And oh, I did not know this either!” Sad most people do not do that. Which I think is sad.

Try and utilize your brain just a little bit and you will make the best usage outta it.

Prompt from the Daily Post at WordPress.com.

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Memories Of MTB

This pic my cousin shared on Facebook brings back so many nostalgic memories. The pic is of the Mattancherry Tourist Bungalow, a lodge and watering hole in Mattancherry (which is part of old Cochin). Why nostalgic? I have never had a drink from there. Not even a solitary beer. I have had food from there but never had food inside the place. The MTB is right opposite my mom’s parents’ house in Mattancherry.

From my earliest memories the MTB has been like a part of the family. The house my grandfather built for his family was done in the early 60s and the MTB followed a few years later. Over the decades, the tourist bungalow has been a center for drunken fights and especially during the holiday season. My cousins and I have watched quite a few dozen fight scenes from our rooftop terrace or the first floor balcony. At one time there was a Hindu-Muslim fight which started near the market area and ended up right in front of our doorstep.

From time to time my dad & uncles would buy beer or some other drinks from the bar and enjoy them in seclusion (away from my grandmother who although knew that her sons and sons-in-law drink, frowned upon the activity). Long before I started drinking or was of drinking age, I remember going to buy beer bottles from them for my uncles & my dad. As have many of my other male cousins. And although we never went to eat, we would on occasion buy some food from there – like a beef roast or some chicken curry.

One particular funny incident from my childhood comes to mind – my cousin Navin, who was probably 11 or so at the time, had a bet with some of the waiters of MTB that he could eat 10 porottas dry in on sitting. No curry, no gravy – nothing, just porotta. The bet was for a chicken biriyani. He won the bet and he was given a chicken biryani for free by them. His belly full, he walked the 10 steps from the bar to the house, struggling to loosen his belt, came back home and told his mother to keep the biriyani in the fridge as he was full at the time and would eat it later. She had some choice words for him

Ah memories of the good ole days!

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Warm Bodies

I saw a bit of this movie on one of those rare evenings that I, alone at home and bored, wandered to the living room and switched on the tv. It was just about 6-7 minutes towards the end and I thought I should check out the full movie. Mainly because of the lead actress who I think is a hottie.

So Warm Bodies is a romantic zombie comedy (yes that rare genre) directed and written by Jonathan Levine, the film stars Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer, Analeigh Tipton and John Malkovich. It came out in 2013, no doubt inspired partly by the Twilight franchise and by The Walking Dead. The film is based on the 2010 novel of the same name by Issac Marion, which in turn has some elements of Romeo & Juliet.

  • 8 years after a global zombie apocalypse humanity is reduced to living in heavily guarded walled cities. ‘R’ is a male zombie, who shuffles through his day at the airport, where for some reason a lot of zombies hang out throughout the day and look for food i.e humans. At night, although zombies do not sleep, R heads out to his personal space – an airplane where he hoardes stuff including a lot of vinlys and listens to music.
  • Zombies like R crave human flesh and R in particular likes to eat the brains as he can experience the victim’s memories and what they felt as he consumes them. That is the only way that R feels alive. Although the movie is partly narrated by him, he can only speak a few words with a lot of effort and otherwise grunts, like the other zombies do.
  • There is another group of zombies called the Bonies.- skeletal zombies who, having lost all traces of their humanity, have shed their flesh and prey on anything with a heartbeat. The more human looking zombies & Boneys do not mix.
  • Julie Grilio and her friends are on a scavenger mission one day when they run into a group of zombies and among them is R & hs friend M. R sees Julie and is drawn to her and when he is shot by Perry, her boyfriend, he kills him and eats his brains and thus gains some of Perry’s experiences & feelings which makes him attracted to her even more. Almost all of the humans are killed by the zombies, except for Nora, who hides under a desk and Julie. R smears blood on Julie’s face, masking her scent from the zombies and takes her to the safety of his plane.
  • Julie & R bond after they hide out in the airplane listening to R’s records – including Guns n’Roses – and he gets canned food for her from the airport. After a few days, Julie gets restless, and tries to return home, yet attracts swarms of zombies, requiring R to rescue her. After fending off a group of zombies, including M, who is confused by R’s actions, R decides it is time to return her to the human enclave. They stop at a house on the way and R, who is regaining his humanity, confesses that it was he who killed & ate Perry. As they sleep, R dreams for the first time since he became a zombie. Julie leaves the house early and makes her way back to her fortified city home.
  • R returns to the airport a sad zombie but sees that M and the others are all showing signs of changing. Notified that the Boneys are looking for him & Julie, he heads to the walled city and sneaks in through a gap in the wall (using Perry’s memories) and meets Julie. Nora is initially horrified but the two girls apply make up on him and go to see Julie’s father the Colonel to explain that the zombies are regaining their humanity. He doesn’t see it the same way so Julie & R run off with Nora’s help. escape to a baseball stadium where the rest of R’s group is waiting, but soon find themselves under attack by a horde of Boneys.
  • M and the other zombies fight off the Boneys, surprising the human soldiers who join forces and kill of many of the Boneys. Seeing themselves trapped, R jumps with Julie from a high building, using his body as a shield to protect her as they hit the water. When he comes to, the two kiss but he is shot by the Colonel. Julie manages to convince her dad that R is human again as he is bleeding and the Colonel changes his orders. The humans and zombies combine forces and kill most of the Boneys while the rest die off, and the zombies slowly assimilate into human society. The film ends with a now fully alive R and Julie watching a wall surrounding the city being demolished, signifying the end of the apocalypse. M us now using the name Marcus and meets a human woman who he befriends.

Funny in places and not at all corny or cheesy and certainly not Twilightish or like the sudden spate of young adult scifi or supernatural movies that have been release lately. This one is actually enjoyable. 7 outta 10!

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Arsenal 2 Manchester City 2

For a few minutes it looked like we were going to win and establish ourselves as title contenders with an emphatic victory at home over the defending champions. Well we managed a draw but were really lucky not to have lost the game to Manchester City even though Arsenal played well. Arsenal were denied victory by Martin Demichelis’s late equaliser as they fought out an entertaining draw with Manchester City at Emirates Stadium. England striker Danny Welbeck made his Arsenal debut after his £16m move from Manchester United – and should have celebrated with a goal only to strike a post when clean through early on.

Sergio Aguero made Arsenal pay for that miss by putting City ahead before half-time but goals from Jack Wilshire and Alexis Sanchez saw the Gunners in sight of a memorable victory. Their hopes were dashed when poor marking at a corner allowed Argentine defender Martin Demicelis to beat Arsenal keeper Wojciech Szczesny to earn a point seven minutes from time. Sadly if Szczesny left it, Matheiu Flamini was in the perfect spot to head it away. In a frantic finish, Aleksandar Kolarov hit the post for Manchester City and Arsenal defender Laurent Koscielny cleared against his own post as the Premier League champions threatened to snatch the three points, which would have been very cruel on Arsene Wenger’s side. Then came that late flurry in which City almost won and Arsenal lost defender Mathieu Debuchy, taken off on a stretcher with an ankle injury, but a draw was a fair result.

Positives : Sanchez is paying off his high transfer cost and looks settled in the team. Wilshire was excellent today and hope he continues to find his form. Wellbeck looks strong and  in a few games could make some solid contributions.

Negatives : Defense, defense, defense! Arsenal will need to restock their defense as it seems easy for a speedy & pacy forward to slip past the current players. Also this is where that defensive midfielder would have come in handy. In January, Arsenal better buy defensively strong players. Ozil tends to look listless; why on earth didn’t Arsene bring on Chamberlain for him in the last 20 minutes or so where the Ox’s strength & pace would surely have given City some nightmares?

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Senators Calling For Football Style Cheering Section

According to news reports from the Canadian capital, the Ottawa Senators are looking to create a soccer (football)-style atmosphere at the Canadian Tire Centre this season. In order to boost the team and regular fans who haven’t had much to cheer in the last few seasons, the Sens are hoping this boisterous loud support will work to their advantage. Section 319 will be cordoned off for the Red Scarf Union – the team’s official fan group – for 10 games this season, according to Chris Hofley of the Ottawa Sun.

The “official supporters section” will allow standing, chanting, signage and supporters will be encouraged to generate as much noise (and maybe a little hatred toward the opposing team) as possible. Ottawa may be tip-toeing into the idea, but creativity appears necessary for the Senators; they are the only Canadian franchise that has experienced attendance issues over the past few seasons.

Well we do need something. With owner Eugene Melnyk unable to pump in enough money to buy or trade for top players who can score goals and letting go of some of our marquee names, the fans need something. Lean years are ahead!

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Spiritual Machines

Machines, appliances, and gadgets sometimes feel like they have their own personalities — from quirky cars to dignified food processors. What’s the most “human” machine you own?

I happen to think most appliances, machines and gadgets have their own personalities once you get to use them for a while. Initially everything is just lifeless but after a few weeks you notice the traits and quirkiness of your devices. Like you computers and your smartphones. Even you washing machine. Our washing machine, bought 8 years ago, is a real bitch. Plus she moves around quite a lot when we use her. And at an angle, always at an angle. I am the one who usually moved her back in place. It’s a small space where we keep her, at one end of the kitchen, so I just go in the gap and push her with my hip and ass.

Hmmm I don’t use that many stuff, I barely watch tv anymore so I wouldn’t notice anything about it but yeah the remote control acts like crazy. And why wouldn’t it when my dad drops it on the floor a dozen times a week? The remote should be going fucking bonkers by now. Atleast mom is more careful about stuff like that. I don’t use a stereo system anymore. My phone is ofcourse a character. I need to replce her as soon as I get some money together cause it is really getting outdated. I want a new phone. And a new laptop! Ugh! Sometime next year I guess. No money now.

Prompt from the Daily Post at WordPress.com.

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Death Do Us Part

Death Do Us Part is a low budget Canadian indi-horror flick of the slasher genre. Directed by Nicholas Humphries the movie was co-written & co-produced by Ryan Copple, Peter Benson &  Julia Benson. The movie stars married couple Julia & Peter Benson, Emillie Ullerup, Kyle Cassie, Benjamin Ayers, Christine Chatelain, Dave Colette & Aaron Douglas. The movie was shot in a remote location on the Sunshine Coast in British Columbia, Canada.

Kennedy Jamieson is a wealthy socialite who has waited her whole life to have the perfect wedding. Engaged to the charming Ryan Harris, the young couple is just a week away from the big day but hasn’t had a chance to celebrate their respective bachelor/bachelorette parties. Ryan’s best man Chet books has booked them a remote cabin in the woods to throw them a ‘Jack and Jill’ stag that they’ll never forget. Joining them on the trip other than Chet is Kennedy’s sister Hannah & her best friend Emily as well as Ryan’s shady cousin Derek. On their way to the cabin it is obvious that they may not like each other; Chet used to go out with Hannah but she thinks he is very immature and all the girls find Derek a bit creepy while he & Chet seem to be inches away from a fight. Derek has been dealing drugs and Ryan doesn’t want him to ruin what could be a great weekend.

The caretaker of the cabin turns out to be a super creepy weirdo named Bo, who tells them that they can’t party at the cabin – what the fuck would 6 adults do in a remote place you idiot? – and shows them the place, which has dead birds in the front porch. After Bo cleans up a bit the party of 6 settles in – Ryan and the girls will take the cabin while Derek & Chet will share a trailer next to it. Hannah goes for a run into the woods where she meets up with Ryan and they have sex against a tree! Seems this has been going on for a while. Only problem is Emily, who was creeped out when she caught Derek leering at her from a window while she was changing, was on a walk by her own and saw the whole thing and she is shocked. While this is happening Bo, sneaks into the couple’s bathroom and leers at Kennedy taking a shower. As evening sets the parting & drinking starts as they dance and play games. Bo comes in outta nowhere and demands that they stop partying but the group promises to clean everything up before they leave. Emily gives a necklace to Kennedy who informs her that she & Ryan will be moving to NYC after the wedding, which upsets Emily. A little later Derek, who has been hounded by calls from drug dealers, asks Ryan to get $20,000 to bail him out as Kennedy’s family is loaded but Ryan refuses, saying he can’t and they have a little fight, which is also seen by Emily.

While Hannah & Chet and Kennedy & Ryan pair off to play a scavenger hunt, Derek walks out in the woods and is killed by an unseen assailant with an axe. The others panic and regroup in the house and find the phones all destroyed and the lights out. They try to leave but get separated and one by one they are picked out for death by the unseen assailant. Chet is killed in his trailer and dragged out to the woods, while Emily is also found next to him. The assailant has also messed with their vehicle so no one is escaping in the night. Hannah is offed next by the assailant wearing a mask. Suspicion falls on Ryan, as Emily had confessed to Kennedy that she had seen Ryan having sex with Hannah and that she has seen him punch Derek, and Kennedy runs away from him and she is finally able to get a knife and stab him while he attacks her. A distraught Kennedy walks into the cabin and puts on her wedding dress as she contemplates her life ruined and as she steps out she finds Emily staggering towards her. Emily says she was only dazed and pretending to be dead to hide from the killer and the two friends are about to leave when Emily blurts out and blurts out details of the ways the others died – which she couldn’t have seen as she was supposed to lying unconscious.

Kennedy realizes that it was Emily who was the killer all along and accuses her of killing the other 4. Emily cries and says that she killed them for Kennedy as Derek was dangerous and Hannah & Ryan were cheating on her. She admits that she got carried away and killed Bo & Chet but now the two best friends could be together. An angered Kennedy attacks Emily and stabs her. Leaving her for dead she walks away but Emily comes to and attacks her from behind and smashes her dead with a large rock. She walks away and is picked up by a cop car and taken to the sheriffs office where a deputy listens to her story. Emily tells the events that happens, pretending to  be Kennedy and at the end, clearly out of her mind, picks up a pen and stabs the deputy and leaves the station.

The low budget aspect really stands out; the killing scenes are bad and lack any real gore. The plot though good with it’s twists, is hampered by some corny & cliched dialogues though the acting is ok. I do wonder why mid 30 year old would act like 20 somethings though, especially Chet & Derek. It’s like a group of friends went to party in the woods and shot a film. Production is not bad for such a low effort and it clearly isn’t aiming to be anything more than what it is – an indie flick with a cast of tv actors. 5 outta 10!

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ROSHAN’S ELEVEN : Audiobook Narrator For My Blog

Your blog is about to be recorded into an audiobook. If you could choose anyone — from your grandma to Samuel L. Jackson — to narrate your posts, who would it be?

  • William Shatner
  • Morgan Freeman
  • Patrick Stewart
  • Kate Mulgrew
  • James Earl Jones
  • The voice over guy from Honest Trailers
  • Whoppi Goldberg
  • Christopher Lee
  • Jerry Seinfeld
  • Christopher Plummer
  • Bill Clinton

Prompt from the Daily Post at WordPress.com.

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Hand-Me-Downs

Clothes and toys, recipes and jokes, advice and prejudice: we all have to handle all sorts of hand-me-downs every day. Tell us about some of the meaningful hand-me-downs in your life.

I think all of these things should be hand-me-downs as long as they are good and still hold some value and are suited for the situation. The only things I wouldn’t want to be handed down are prejudices & clothes; best to be avoided but in some families due to shortage of money or some other stuff like that. Even if they have money parents may want to have kids pass on their clothes to their younger siblings atleast in their formative years. Which is ok.

Everything else is fine. Toys, recipes are very important and certainly jokes – the good ones especially. I remember a few like some bad jokes that has lasted 2 or 3 generations.

Prompt from the Daily Post at WordPress.com.

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SG1 – Learning Curve

In the season 3 episode “Learning Curve”, the members of SG1 have made contact with a planet named Orban and the humans who live on this planet are technologically more advanced & knowledgeable than earth. However they know nothing about the Goa’uld or their threat and very little about the Stargate. After first contact an exchange of information is decided upon; while Daniel Jackson and T’ealc remain on Orban and help the Orbanians learn more about the Stargate and pass on information about the Goa’uld, while Major Samantha Carter and Colonel Jack O’Neill return to Earth and await the arrival of Kalan, the Orbanian liaison, and an Urrone (apprentice) girl, Merrin, who presents Sam with a Naquadah generator, and Merrin remains behind to explain the generator technology to Sam.

The SG team learns that Merrin and other Urrone children like her have been implanted with numerous nanites in their blood steam as well as their brains. The nanites superseding her normal brain synapses Merrin explains that the nanites were designed on Orban, that all Orbanians carry them as a means to gather information, and that each Urrone is given millions of nanites to assist them in learning large amounts of information very quickly, accounting for the high intelligence of the Urrone children that had been observed. Merrin also tells the group that each Urrone must undergo the Averium and that at each Averium all of the Orbanians are given one nanite, but does not explain any further. Later Kalan explains that an Averium is a ceremony where an Urrone’s nanites are removed and dispersed among the population to increase the Orbanians’ knowledge. Kalan replies that all the children who have undergone Avarium will remain with the others past Urrone in an institution as they cannot be taught because his brain will reject nanites. Dr. Fraiser hypothesizes that as nanites replace natural synapses in a the brain, the Averium reverts an Urrone’s mind back to an infant state. Daniel asks if it has been attempted to teach Urrone children without nanites, but Kalan appears confused.

This does not sit well with the SGC personnel, especially Jack who believes that children should be allowed to be children. He wants Merrin to seek asylum on earth but she does not agree with him saying that being chosen for Avarium is a great honour. Daniel, who remained on Orban, prevents Kalan from attempting to travel to Earth without first sending an IDC, but Kalan insists he must retrieve Merrin, as without her the Orbanian scientists waiting for her nanites will be forced to wait another twelve years as another Urrone is chosen to specialize in Naquadah generators. Daniel realizes the effect that withholding Merrin is having, and takes Kalan to the SGC with him. General Hammond agrees to allow Merrin to return to Orban and undergo the Averium, but Jack intervenes and takes Merrin from the base, without permission. He takes her to an elementary school where he know the teacher and has Merrin interact with the kids in playing games on the playground (she, like other Orbanian kids have no concept of “fun” or playing games) and takes part in painting class.

Eventually, Merrin comprehends the task and enjoys painting, thanking Jack for giving her the opportunity. Jack offers her amnesty again, but Merrin insists she must return to Orban and undergo the Averium to help her people. Jack takes Merrin back to the SGC and gives her a box of crayons before she returns to Orban. General Hammond threatens to Court-martial Jack, but he merely replies that he was giving Merrin a chance to be a normal child and will accept any punishment General Hammond decides to give him, which sways him into giving Jack no punishment. Several days later Kalan asks SG-1 to return to Orban, and SG-1 is taken to the institution for past Urrone. The institution is now filled with children playing, rather than sitting around in an infant state, and SG-1 is informed that all past Urrone children will now learn, without nanites, after their Averium, as a result of changes caused by Merrin.

The plot of this episode shows earth humans, in this case specifically Jack O’Neill having trouble with the fact that the Orbanian kids not being raised the way earth kids are raised i.e, having fun & playtime while they also learn. Since their way is not our way he has a problem with it and tries to change it. He is ready to face tough consequences to ensure that the child gets a taste of what being a child is like on his world before she has her life altered. I find this to be a very though provoking topic.

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Royal Baby? So?

A second #RoyalBaby will soon be joining the Windsors in England. Given the choice, would you rather be heir to the throne, or the (probably) off-the-hook sibling?

Great! So Kate & William are having another baby. Wonderful! I don’t understand all the excitement over the previous one, what’s his name George? So the prince & princess had a baby – who cares? Why should you go all ga-ga over it? I mean I know everyone loves babies and hey I am not immune to the effects of the baby coochie-cooing syndrome that seems to affect almost the entire population of the earth except for terrorists.  And I think even there maybe some terrorists who do like babies!

But there are so many babies being born everyday, why on earth will you choose to go crazy over the royal baby? I mean it wasn’t like only people of England or the UK went ga-ga over him – it was people everywhere. Especially the Western world, I think 90% of Asia & Africa were with me on this event. I was all “Oh! A baby? That’s nice. Cute!” and then I forgot about him. The women in some places were all “OMG! He smiled, he’s so cute. He yawned, I melted. Look he pooped – oh royal poop!” etc etc.

So the next royal baby – who cares, let them make babies and push Harry down the line yet again. Poor guy! As for me, I’d rather be the heir. It’s good to be the boss….or in this case, the boss to be!

Prompt from the Daily Post at WordPress.com.

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