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The Watch

The Watch is a 2012 science fiction comedy film directed by Akiva Schaffer and written by Jared Stern, Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg. It stars Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade. The film a group of neighbors who form a suburban neighborhood watch group. When they uncover an alien plot threatening the world, they are forced into action.

In a small town in Ohio a night security guard at the local CostCo is brutally murdered by an unseen creature. The local police have no leads, and show no interest in investigating further. Determined to find the killer and bring him to justice, the manager Evan decides to form a neighborhood watch. However, he only manages to recruit Bob (Vince Vaughn), a construction worker and loving father; Franklin (Jonah Hill), a high school dropout who dreams of being a police officer but failed the written, physical, and mental-health tests; and Jamarcus (Richard Ayoade), a recent divorcé. To Evan’s annoyance only he is taking it seriously while the other three use the watch as an excuse to drink and make jokes. While driving on patrol, they accidentally hit something. They discover a strange metallic orb that acts as a highly-destructive weapon, and deduce that it is of alien origin. Meanwhile, several more townspeople are mysteriously killed.

The watch responds to the murders and encounters an alien, which attacks them. Evan (apparently) kills it with a lawn gnome before the group returns with the creature to Bob’s house. The creature regains consciousness and escapes, stealing the metallic orb and warning them that the aliens have already infiltrated the town. They realize that the aliens are killing humans and stealing their skins to blend in. Realizing that anyone in Glenview could be an alien. Bob confides to Evan that he is worried about his daughter Chelsea, and does not trust her boyfriend Jason. Evan admits that he has been avoiding his wife Abby because he is infertile, and revealing that to her may cause her to leave. Evan also suspects his creepy new neighbour of being one of the aliens, mainly due to the stiff way he speaks because he always seems to be watching him. As the watch scouts the neighbor’s house, Bob learns that Chelsea is at an unsupervised party with Jason. Bob disobeys Evan’s orders, and rushes to the party with Franklin. Bob prevents Jason from raping Chelsea, but Jason beats him until Franklin intervenes.

Evan and Jamarcus investigate the odd neighbor alone, discovering that he (only) hosts orgies in his basement. When Bob returns, he and Evan argue over his putting his daughter above the watch. Evan and Bob argue and Bob is made to leave the group. Evan goes home and admits his infertility to Abby, who accepts the news and tells him they will work things out. Jamarcus comes to Evan and admits that he is actually one of the aliens but has changed his mind and sides with the humans after experiencing human culture and his first orgy. He warns the group that the aliens are building a transmitter (beneath the Costco store) which will summon their armada to destroy the earth, and is expelled from the watch for his deception. Bob, Franklin, Evan and Abby arm themselves and infiltrate the Costco to destroy the transmitter. Bob encounters Jason who reveals that he is also an alien, and they fight. Evan and Franklin attempt to disable the transmitter, but are surrounded by aliens.

Jamarcus arrives and saves the pair, revealing that the aliens’ brains are located in their crotch; Bob kills Jason by ripping off his penis. Evan discovers that the transmitter is powered by the metallic orb and removes it, disabling the machine. More aliens arrive, forcing the group to flee. The watch uses the metallic orb to destroy the Costco building, killing all of the aliens inside. As the movie ends Evan and Abby adopt a young girl, Bob is closer to Chelsea, Franklin is accepted to the police force and Jamarcus continues participating in the secret neighborhood orgies. The group maintains the watch, continuing to protect Glenview from criminals (and aliens).

Funny and silly in typical Stiller fashion, I enjoyed the film and thought it was a good time waster. I was watching this movie on a cold Thursday in Gurgaon after breakfast and while waiting for the time to get ready and go to the airport. I give it a solid 7 outta 10 for entertainment!

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Food Review #84

BBQ Chicken & Bacon Pizza from California Pizza Kitchen, Gurgaon – amazingly delicious, thin crust pizza. That bbq sauce is heavem and the bacon is awesome with the bbq chicken.

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Forward Drive

What is the one thing that drives you to wake up in the morning and do whatever it is you do? Is it writing, family, friends, or something else entirely?

Money! Money is the only thing that is driving me to wake up in the morning and get going to work. Let’s face it we all need money and we could all use a little bit or a lot more of than what we are currently getting. I want money cause money buys me medical support, food, drink, keeps me and my family with some luxuries and stuff that we need. It gives me a sense of comfort and security and I want more of it.

That’s more than enough drive for me to go and do evening shifts at work at a process that I do not like or enjoy even a little bit. I work because I have to. I hope things change and I can get more money at a place that I really like and can take some pleasure in doing it. That would be cool. But if I had lots and lots of money and I didn’t need to work, would I continue with a job? No. It’s not like in Star Trek where people work for bettering themselves and gaining more knowledge. We aren’t there yet. Not at all. We are a 100 years away from something like that atleast. Maybe future generations will do that and things will be all good.

But for now, I gotta go and therefore I do.

Prompt from The Daily Post at WordPress.com

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Not Your Normal Lemon Slushy

When life gives you lemons… make something else. Tell us about a time you used an object or resolved a tricky situation in an unorthodox way.

  • 8 cups water
  • 3 cups granulated sugar
  • 2 fresh lemon
  • 2 orange (fresh)
  • 6 cups pineapple juice
  • 2 cups grapefruit juice (fresh)
  • 4 cups lemonade (such as Sprite or 7Up + extra for mixing)
  • 5 cups vodka

Recipe

  1. Make a simple syrup by bringing the water to a boil in a medium-size saucepan and stirring in the sugar until it’s completely dissolved.
  2. Pour the simple syrup into a large container (I recommend this 17-cup container or this 29-cup container) and leave to cool to room temperature. When cooled, stir in the rest of the ingredients.
  3. Freeze the contents of the container for at least 24 hours. When ready to serve, scoop out as much frosty stuff as you need to fill your glass and top with lemonade. If the drink is still largely frozen after adding lemonade, mix it up a bit with a spoon or a straw to help dissolve the frostiness.

Prompt from The Daily Post at WordPress.com

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Mother’s Day (2016)

Mother’s Day (2016) is a different one from the horror-esque movie from a few years ago. This one is a 2016 American romantic comedy film directed by Garry Marshall and written by Tom Hines, Lily Hollander, Anya Kochoff-Romano and Matt Walker. The film stars an ensemble cast, led by Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson, Julia Roberts and Jason Sudeikis, and featuring Sarah Chalke, Robert Pine, Cameron Esposito, Timothy Olyphant, Britt Robertson, Héctor Elizondo, Jack Whitehall and Jon Lovitz. Considering that his other two ensemble comedy-romance films Valentine’s Day (2010) and New Year’s Eve (2011) – he has a thing for these days!

So the basis of this movie is that everything about estranged families and relationships can get solved on this magical day of all days. A racist mother who hasn’t seen her older daughter in years, because she was dating a “towelhead” (actually an Indian-American doctor) and doesn’t know that the two have married and have a young son and also doesn’t know that her younger daughter is gay and married and adopted the child of her wife, will not suddenly turn over a new leaf and become a very good grandma and accepting of her Indian son-in-law and her gay daughter in law in a day or two – just in time for Mother’s Day! Also a younger woman, who is a mother and lives with her boyfriend / father of her baby and is has commitment issues because she was adopted and believes she was rejected by her birth mom, is egged on by her friends to go meet her birth mom – a famous celebrity who just so happens to be on a book signing tour and in the same city a few days before Mother’s Day!

Not only that but this celeb is shooting commercials for a mood reflecting pendant is peddaling it as a perfect gift for — I will give you one guess! You got it, Mother’s Day! And the number of times they say Mother’s Day is quite a lot. A float / parade for Mother’s Day? Is that a thing? Anyways, there are some laughs in the film and watching Jennifer Anniston & Julia Roberts & Kate Hudson with also Sarah Chalke and a new beauty Shay Mitchell to boot – is a sight for sore eyes! Still the film is corny and cheesy and there is no proper storyline and the writing is terrible. There is a supreme lack of effort and relying on hopelessly dated and predictable scenes and outcomes is just so wrong! There is hardly anything exciting about this movie. And now I will come to the final point, and the only one that pisses me off!

The scene towards the end when the cops ask all the folks in the trailer to come out and when Asif Mandvi’s character comes out, they raise their guns and act like he is a terrorist. He is forced to lie on the ground as they shit scared and racist cops look at his brown skin – one of the cops is black! And despite the protests of the white folks – “he’s my husband”, “he’s my son-in-law” it takes the black lady cop to recognize him and say “it’s ok, he’s my doctor. He fixed my knee” for the other cops to relax! Oh so now it’s ok? What the bloody fuck? Are we expected to accept this bullshit?

I’ll give the movie a 6 outta 10 but for that last bit of nonsense alone I should have given them a 0!

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6 Year Old

You get to be a 6-year-old kid again for one day and one day only — plan your perfect 24 hours. Where do you go, what do you do, and with whom?

Ok, I am just trying to remember what all I did as a 6 year old. It has been a while since I was that age. Ah yes, well if I get only 24 hours as a 6 year old I know what I would want to do!

I want to wake up and watch cartoons all day as I eat cornflakes and eggs and drink juice while sitting near the tv. After that I want to play, play, play with other 6 year olds and laugh silly until I pee my pants. Then for lunch I want hamburgers and fries and ice cream and then go to the nearest theme park and have fun until the late, late evening.

After all that playing and having fun, stopping for candy or drink breaks, I will then want to go for a Disney movie followed by a pizza dinner or a KFC dinner and then go home and get to bed. Watch more cartoons just as I drift off to sleep.

Kids want simple fun stuff and that’s what I would want as a 6 year old!

Prompt from The Daily Post at WordPress.com

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Arsenal 1 Norwich City 0

Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger had to endure calls for his departure as his side beat a Norwich team whose Premier League future looks increasingly bleak. Fans protested inside and outside Emirates Stadium, voicing frustration at their team’s failure to mount a title challenge in recent years. There was little for Arsenal to cheer until substitute Danny Welbeck put them ahead with a crisp half-volley. Norwich are two points from safety with three games left. They had chances – twice Petr Cech stopped Nathan Redmond from scoring. But for all their endeavour, Norwich left north London with nothing and with Newcastle beating Crystal Palace and Sunderland securing a draw against Stoke earlier in the day, their hopes of survival appear slim.

Wenger and his players had been warned there would be a toxic atmosphere at the Emirates, and protests calling for the end of the Frenchman’s 20-year tenure began outside the stadium. Fans from the Arsenal Supporters’ Trust, the Black Scarf Movement and Red Action handed out posters with the message ‘time for change’ and some fans held them up after 12 and 78 minutes – 12 being the number of years the club has gone without winning the league. Various banners were held up, one saying ‘Wenger – 12 years of excuses, Ranieri – 9 months, champions’ in reference to Leicester’s march towards the league title. Stoking the flames this week were Wenger’s pre-match comments – that fans had gone “overboard” with their criticisms, and that his team had played in “a very difficult climate” at home over recent months, contributing to their failure in the league. In a divided stadium, there were those who supported their manager, singing “there’s only one Arsene Wenger” in response to the 12th-minute protest. They would point to the six FA Cups, three league titles and 18 consecutive seasons of Champions League football the club have enjoyed under Wenger.

Victory over Norwich moved them to third in the table, three points above Manchester City, and a step closer to securing another season in Europe’s elite cup competition. There was little to unite the factions as the first half played out like the majority of Arsenal’s games this year: plenty of possession, but little bite. For the fourth time in their past nine home league games, Wenger’s men failed to conjure a shot on target in the opening 45 minutes. At the other end of the pitch, and despite the visitors having just 30% of possession, Cech twice stopped Redmond from scoring, while a third effort from the striker before the break bounced just wide. It was the 56th-minute introduction of Welbeck that turned the match in Arsenal’s favour. The striker gave his team much-needed spark and, within three minutes of coming on, he placed Olivier Giroud’s well-directed header into the bottom-left corner. Welbeck’s goal came from his team’s first shot on target.

The Gunners have two games to play – against fourth-placed Manchester City and relegated Villa.

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The Huntsman: Winter’s War

The Huntsman : Winter Wars is a 2016 film American high fantasy adventure film. It acts as both a prequel and, mostly, a sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman, and is based on characters from the German fairy tale “Snow White”, compiled by the Brothers Grimm, as well as “The Snow Queen”, by Hans Christian Andersen. The film, a directorial debut for Cedric Nicolas-Troyan who acted as visual effects supervisor on the first film, and is written by Craig Mazin and Evan Spiliotopoulos stars Chris Hemsworth, Charlize Theron, Nick Frost and Sam Claflin, reprising their roles, and Emily Blunt, Rob Brydon, and Jessica Chastain, playing new characters.

The movie starts off as a prequel with Queen Raveena who learns from her magic mirror that that her younger sister Freya is not only engaged in an illicit affair with Andrew: Duke of Blackwood, but is carrying his child, who is destined to become fairest of them all. Sometime after Freya gives birth to a baby girl, Freya discovers that Andrew has murdered their child and, in a grief-fueled rage, kills him with her long-suppressed ice powers. Freya abandons her home and establishes a kingdom of her own and builds herself a solitary ice palace deep in the north, murdering anyone who opposes her while amassing an army of children and training them so their hearts will be forever hardened. Chief among them are Eric and Sara who fall in love with each other. As they grow up the two plan to elop but Freya is aware of their plan creates a massive ice wall to separate them before forcing Eric to watch as Sara is killed by her fellow huntsmen.

Seven years later, Raveena having been killed, King William of Tabor comes across Eric and informs him that the Magic Mirror was taken while en route to a place known as “Sanctuary”. Eric sets off to find it, joined by the dwarfs Nion and his half-brother Gryff. While en route, the trio are attacked by a legion of Freya’s huntsmen, but are rescued by Sara who is revealed to have been alive the entire time. Sara believes she saw “Eric” run away from the palace and feels betrayed by him. Eric concludes her death was a vision conjured by Freya in order to trick him. He reveals that he never stopped loving Sara and they agree to work together. Sometime later, the quartet is ensnared in a trap laid out by female dwarves Bromwyn and Doreena, but convince them to help find the Mirror. At Sanctuary they defeat the goblins who have the mirror but are ambushed by Freya and her soldiers and it turns out that Sara has been working for the queen all along. Nion and Doreena are turned into ice statues and Sara reluctantly fires an arrow into Eric’s chest. Freya departs with the Magic Mirror, unaware that Sara intentionally shot the arrow at a medallion she gave Eric long before, and that he is still alive.

Meanwhile, Freya approaches the Mirror and recites a spell that causes a golden liquid to emerge and transform into Ravenna, who reveals she sent her spirit into the Mirror before Snow White took her life. With the help of the other two dwarfs Eric infiltrates the ice palace and he attempts to murder Freya, but is stopped by Ravenna. When Freya realizes that Sara hadn’t actually killed Eric, she corners her and because of Ravenna’s wishes, sentences them both to death. Eric however has convinced his former comrades, some of the huntsmen, to fight against Ravenna and Freya After this, Ravenna kills many huntsmen, and Freya forms an ice wall between the huntsmen and the sisters. As the remaining huntsmen climb over the wall, the two sisters argue over the icy kingdom, during which Freya discovers that Ravenna cursed Andrew into murdering her child rather than risk someone being more beautiful than her. Freya is filled with anger at this and turns against her sister, joining forces with Eric and Sara.

Freya is fatally wounded, but not before she freezes the magic mirror, as Eric throws his axe, breaking the mirror and destroying Ravenna’s spirit. As she dies, Freya witnesses Eric and Sara together and states they were “lucky” before succumbing to her wounds. The inhabitants of the kingdom, now free, celebrate Eric and Sara kiss as they can now be together while Doreena and Nion and Gryff and Bromwyn confess their love to each other. Meanwhile a mysterious golden bird flies overhead, hinting that possibly Ravenna’s spirit still lives.

A bit dull during the first half and the action picks up a bit during the second but the movie is a bit dull and uninspired and had tons of cliches that you expect from this genre now. The only positive thing is getting to see Emily Blunt, Jessica Chastain and Charlize Theron together in the same flick. Yet these lovely ladies cannot bring this movie up from mediocrity and I give it a 6.5 outta 10!

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Lifeline And Boredom Box

Describe your relationship with your phone. Is it your lifeline, a buzzing nuisance, or something in between?

I have an odd relationship with cell phones. I have been using them less and less for phone calls and more for social media and messaging for the past few years. Texting using Whatsapp which is a free service is the best and you reach out to a whole lot more people using groups. That’s how I mostly communicate and keep in touch.

I rarely make phone calls unless it’s for work or something related to customer care for my services – my internet, my phone or my USB internet service. Otherwise it is for contacting a friend or a cousin for a lunch or dinner event. That is like once or twice a month. Phone calls to home is a few and usually short as well. I am not a big fan of talking on the phone.

Otherwise I use my smartphone for Facebook, Twitter, other apps that I use. Sometimes I even pay bills or transact using HDFC’s app. I book tickets for movies (a recent thing) and other stuff. I answer emails and things of that sort if I am not near my laptop at the time. Calls? Very few! But it is a necessity ofcourse.

Prompt from The Daily Post at WordPress.com

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Time Stands Still

For a moment today, time stands still — but you can tweak one thing while it’s stopped. What do you do?

If time can stand still for a moment, it can stand still for a day or days on end if needed. And needed by me. I wish I could make time stop. Like when it’s almost time to get to work but I need an hour or say 5 more of rest and sleep. Or when I am took lazy to go to work and want to spend the rest of the day in bed and watching my fav shows or movies, then I would like to stop time for everyone but me for the next 24 hours.

And I wouldn’t mind stopping time in places that I want to be in for a while. In good situations or where I just want to take a breather.

Prompt from The Daily Post at WordPress.com

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Traveling Between Apartments

Good morning. Boy am I tired. Due to the fact that if I come to this apartment building late at night I could get attacked by that stray dog that sleeps in this front porch, I decided that the best thing for me to do is to go to my apartment at 2:20 am at night post my shift and sleep there. In the morning after I wake up and gone to the loo I can come back to this apartment where everyone else is and have breakfast, coffee and a shower and a shave before lunch and wait for the company cab to come and take me to work.

So that’s what I did last night. I had to take permission from the cab organizers (and I will have to do this every night) and boarded the cab at 1:50 am. I was the last person to be dropped and I came home and walked the 7 set of stairs to reach our apartment on the 7th floor. I got in and washed my face and hands and legs and the went to bed. I woke up a couple of times in the middle of the night for some reason and then I went back to sleep each time. I finally got outta bed by 9 am and went to the loo, did my business and then brushed my teeth. I dressed and took an auto back to this apartment.

And I’m gonna have to do this 5 days a week atleast for another 7 more days I guess.

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Cyber Mall & Soi7 Brewery Pub, Gurgaon

The second of the two pubs that I hit while I was in Gurgaon was the Soi7 Brewery pub in Cyber Mall. This mall is huge and it has a lot of eateries and other fun stuff to do. After coffee and breakfast and a long walk through, I finally went to Soi7 brew pup. Take a look at the photos the large outdoor mall and the pub

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I had some awesome beer while I was there. They have their own brews with boxing related names. Enjoy the pics!

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Menacing Canine

So last night I was almost attacked by a stray dog. As stated before I am staying in my sister and brother in laws apartment which is about 15 minutes away from my own. I am working my regular shift of 4:30 pm to 1:30 am for this week and last night as I was coming back to this apartment building and approached the door of the building I saw this black stray dog lying right on the door step.

This dog was a stray that had been hit by a car and was left lying on the road and a couple of people from this building moved it to the side and fed it as it recovered. Hence the dog has loyalty and considers this building as his and every night he comes back to the building, using an entrance that isn’t and can’t be locked, and sleeps in the car park area or near the door. People keep putting out food for this dog and hence he doesn’t go away and does keep off other stray dogs in the area. However he doesn’t look too kindly to strangers either. Since he doesn’t know me he didn’t like the fact that I was coming in.

As I approached the door he woke up and started snarling and growling and ferociously barked as he came closer to me. Not knowing what to do, I backed up a little bit and then yelled at the dog and waved my office bag at him. He moved to the side but still growled and so I walked back to the door, keeping my eye on him and opened it and came inside, closing the door behind me. Not sure what to do tomorrow.

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Uber Useful

Uber to me is relatively new. I first started using the services of the multinational transportation company in December of 2015. At that time I was stuck doing excessive shifts due to a crunch situation in our company. Hence 12 hours or more was the norm and because I was in a day shift I wasn’t eligible for the company cab option. I don’t have a vehicle and public buses stop running after 8pm in that area as well which made it difficult for me to get back home. I didn’t have the Uber app as I used a BlackBerry and hence I would ask help from colleagues to book me an Uber. Once the driver reached the office, I would go down and tell him that I would pay in cash.

In December and January I must have used Uber in this manner, borrowing a colleague’s phone to do the booking, atleast 10-12 times. February came along and I didn’t have much use of it but I knew that this is a great way to travel in Cochin, unless it was within the main city areas, for which the autorikshaw is the best option if you don’t have a vehicle of your own. In mid February I was told that I would be sent to Gurgaon for 2 weeks and I knew that getting the Uber app was a necessity while I stayed there.

As it so happened I was also looking to change my phone from a BlackBerry to an Android based device. So in late February I bought a new Samsung Galaxy and the very first thing I did as soon as I put in my SIM card was to install Uber. Even before any other app (to be fair, it came with Facebook, Twitter and a few others right outta the box)! And a day or two later I booked my first ride using my own phone. Since then I had used Uber quite a few times; to and fro the office, going to Lulu Mall, booking it for my parents to go for a wedding and come back.

It’s become an essential option for people like me and I don’t see me using the normal taxis unless it’s for a much longer distance like to another city or so.

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