What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
What do you call an IT teacher who touches his students? A PDF file!
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Call and tell her about it.
An old woman walked into a dentist’s office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, “I think you have the wrong room.” “You put in my husband’s teeth last week,” she replied. “Now you have to remove them.”
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll? Ken came in another box.
What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? Gum!
What’s the process of applying for a job at Hooters? They just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out.”
What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist.
What’s the difference between your penis and a bonus check? Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.