Rain

Today was a nice day. Again work wise hardly anything to do plus it is a Saturday hence a very casual atmosphere all around. Not that we have a very serious & somber outlook during the weekdays but still it is a very nice feeling. We had a small meeting on how to increase efficiency among the trainees who are now agents. We decided that from next week, refresher courses are in session.

A few of us went to have a group lunch – nothing was arranged or organized, it just happened. Most of them had chicken biriyani ala Hyderbadi style and they raved about the taste but I had a vegetable dish which was supposed to be spicy but it was actually sweet. I had no complaints though as I enjoyed the company at the table.

Sajith, Akhil & myself were soon entering reports for a while until 4:30 pm, when we went to have a trainers meeting. This was round two for the month of March and we will be having them twice a month. If only all meetings were such fun; even as we were discussing the various obstacles that hindered our path to complete success, we were still having fun and cracking jokes. Me, the group clown, had them laughing at my wise cracks. Anyways, Akhil and myself have a little project to do on Tuesday, which we really want to do.

Back on the way home and it looks like it is about to rain. Am I mistaking the smell of imminent rain for something else? Sometimes you just know that it is going to pour. But for a long time after I reached my room and relaxed, it seemed that my nose was failing me. Until around midnight, when the heavens opened and sweet, sweet rain water poured down on Cochin town. Ahh, I just stood at my windows and soaked it in while staring blankly at the night sky. The breeze was welcoming but I couldn’t get my hands wet unless I went out to the balcony. This is good.

And oh, is that a semi-naked lady that I spy with my little eye, moving in front of a window in the building across mine?

Song for the day – “One Little Victory” – RUSH

Sens 5 Canadiens 2

The Ottawa Senators beat the Montreal Canadiens 5-2 and reached the 100 point mark for the 4th straight season. Dany Heatley got his 47th goal and Mike Fisher scored twice and the Ottawa Senators reached 100 points with a 5-2 win over the Montreal Canadiens on Friday night. Fisher, Jason Spezza and Mike Comrie scored in the first period to help Ottawa reached 100 points for the fourth straight season, and sixth time in the past eight. For Montreal, Sheldon Souray scored his 18th power-play goal of the season in the first, tying Hall of Famer Denis Potvin and Adrian Aucoin for the NHL single-season record by a defenseman. Ottawa had a potential fourth goal waved off when referee Dan Maroueli blew a quick whistle before Heatley jammed home a rebound off Halak’s outstretched right pad. Ottawa Goalie Ray Emery now has 58 career wins, 26 losses and nine non-regulation losses overall in regular-season play. Senators C Dean McAmmond played his 800th regular-season game. McAmmond began his career with Chicago in 1991-92 and has also played for Edmonton, Philadelphia, Calgary, Colorado and St. Louis.

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Bring on the Cup, baby! GO SENS GO!

Kerala Reality TV

mask of the ninja movie I was thinking, what if we in Kerala started a reality tv bonanza. What would we feature?

Road Demons – A show on the lives of Autorikshaw driver; those daredevils who navigate the streets of our green state like Michael Schumacher on steroids.

The Bribe Magnets – Featuring Kerala’s finest…..our police force, filled with pot bellied assholes who accept and demand bribes for just about anything. Like crossing the road.

the best little whorehouse in texas dvd The Air Up There – This one is a show about coconut tree climbers, who risk limbs to get us tender coconut water….and illicit liqour.

Best Way To Get Rich – Become a politician in Kerala!! Need I say more

Weird Hotel Names

Ever noticed the weird names that hotel owners give in ur city? I have been noticing it on my ride to work or anywhere for that matter. Here are some of the ones that stand out in Kochi & elsewhere in Kerala –

  • Hotel Runs : Would you want to eat at a restaurant that calls itself “RUNS” (meaning loose motion)? I mean what a great way to advertise their wares. This beauty of a name is located somewhere just outside of Calicut.
  • Tasty Restaurant : A tasty restaurant, you eat the restaurant and it tastes great! Oh by the way I went to this one and it stinks.
  • Hotel Teashop : Yup, for several months this gem of a name shitty little shack exsisted under that name about 2 kms from my house, until someone mentioned it to the owner and he hastly added an “&” in the middle.
  • Hotel Nivea : like the cream for men, located in Kollam
  • Hotel Civea : A rival faction started opposite Hotel Nivea just to piss them off…must have started by disgruntled former employees
  • Hotel California : The pick of them all, no doubt started by a wiseguy fan of the Eagles. This eatery died an untimely death when the owner sold it and the new owners, obviously, were not big fans of Don Henley’s singing. They changed the name, redocorated the place but I just can’t remember the new name. This place was near my cousins’ residence in Calicut.
  • Eat n’ Park : this one baffles me. It should have been park & eat. Yet the owners insist that we eat first and park our vehicles later.

Song for the day – “Best I Can” – QUEENSRYCHE

Notes for 29th March

  • Well it seems like I have to make myself available to attend a wedding in Chalakudy on the 22nd of April. Anil & I have to attend Madhu’s younger brother’s wedding.
  • The reception will be held on the 23rd in Thiruvonam Madapam next to the Thrikkakara temple. Having lived near that temple for 19 years and having watched the wedding hall being built slowly over months, I often would joke to my family that I would get married at that hall and nowhere else. I am not close to getting married though.
  • My work hours are so easy and filled with doing almost nothing
  • I spent the day correcting answer papers of a test that was conducted yesterday
  • I again skipped lunch and had some snacks instead
  • Felt very hungry, so had a lovely dinner before coming home
  • There was a hilarious office joke spreading around, which you had to be there for the last 2 months to understand. It was so hard to stop laughing
  • There were sessions on sexual harassment at the office, which the HR took the employees through in batches of 20 each. I skipped it. I already am an expert in sexually harassing a girl
  • Discovered the music of this talented flamenco guitarist pictured below.

Song for the day – “Cafe Tropical” – JOHANNES LINDSTEAD

Sony Ericsson W580i

As my hunt continues for a new phone, I seem to be finding more and more options in the world of Sony Ericsson mobiles. I don’t believe in keeping a cell phone more than 9 to 10 months as these things evolve so rapidly. You find a gorgeous model with all the necessary things that you want in a cell phone now and 6 months later you look at it like it was an old hag! There will always be better & slicker looking cell phones available in the market and the trick is to keep updating yourself. I am looking for a phone with more expandable memory, better pixel camera (since I can’t go for a digital camera) and a better quality mp3 player (which is optional).

This one probably fits the bill but I might have to wait for a while to go down and try one out. The Sony Ericsson W580i is a gorgeous looking cell. Available in Urban Grey or Style White colors, the W580i is Sony Ericsson’s latest Walkman phone. It sports a 2.0-inch QVGA screen, 2.0-megapixel camera, M2 card slot (512MB included), EDGE, Bluetooth 2.0, USB connectivity, built-in FM tuner, and “music illumination” effects. This slider measures 99 x 47 x 14mm and weighs 94g.

Now you know what to gift me

Freezing

I am enjoying the work hours a lot. First of all it is a very nice office and it is fully air conditioned. Infact they out it on too high but that is ok. Coming from spending about a month at the temp facility where it was so bloody hot, to this nice and clean place which is kept cool at all times is shocking. Today, we were at one section for about an hour and a half and this particular section is freezing. I should have pissed out ice cubes at the end and it feel so lousy when you are cold and hungry at the same time. I actually wanted some sun and a warm breeze after that, which I did get at the open air canteen area.

Something about my current bank, ICICI’s ATM booths – they have a sign there that says you can’t use a cell phone while you are inside them! I think some other banks might have the same rules as well but HDFC does not. The guard at the ICICI ATM actually stopped me from entering yesterday when I was talking on the phone and about to enter the ATM booth. That is crazy! And another thing; after you make a withdrawal, the ATM screen says “Have a nice day! Please remember to collect your cash before you leave!” Like I was gonna forget! It would have been better if they had put ‘card’ instead of ‘cash, cause people tend to forget their ATM cards but not their cash. Ask me, I actually forgot my card a few months back and had to go back to get it .

Feminism

A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat.

She thinks to herself, “Here’s another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat”, and she pushes him back onto the seat.

A minute later, the man tries to get up again.

She is insulted again and refuses to let him up.

This goes on a couple more times over the next few minutes.

Finally, the man says, “Look, lady, you’ve got to let me get up. I’m a half mile past my stop already.”

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And Meanwhile…

Another friend’s parent has passed away and I did not come to know about it. Another friend has announced her engagement, for which I will not be able to attend. While still another has let me know that he is getting married towards the end of next month. That one I definitely want to attend and will make sure that I do. Another friend and I have started becoming confidants and letting the other in on all our secrets. I was quite surprised at the level of closeness that I suddenly have with her and the fact that we actually became closer now, when she is living in another state for the past 18 months. While we were in the same city, we were not that close.

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I have also noticed the number of work related relationships that ‘blossom’ (and I use this term loosely) in the last year and a half. Some of it is just plain infatuation or a by-product of having others in vicinity also getting hitched or being in love. Some of these pairs are so obvious and others are just plain stupefying to me. Some are so silly that I just want to say “what the fuck” or “grow up, morons”! Don’t go crying when it all comes down in a pile of dust in the end.

And there is one person, who seems to have gotten a new lease of life when his wife got a job in another city and had to move. He seems to be reveling in his new found “freedom” and using this time to spend it with another girl. I am not sure how this “other woman” is perceiving the sudden interest being shoved in her face. Yet it is a shame to see it happening.

Song for the day – “Mine All Mine” – SHEDAISY

Top Idiots of 2006

Number One Idiot of 2006

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here’s your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.


Number Two Idiot of 2006

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here’s your sign, guys. Don’t get it wet; the paint might run.


Number Three Idiot of 2006

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of Ame! rica, walked into the Branch and wrote “this. Put all your muny in thi s bag.” While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller’s window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn’t the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, “OK” and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Don’t bother with this guy’s sign. He probably couldn’t read it anyway.


Number Four Idiot of 2006

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that; measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket or $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Wise guy… but you still get a sign


Number Five Idiot of 2006

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, “Because I don’t believe you are over 21.” The robber said he was, but the clerk ! still refused to give it to him because she didn’t believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver’s license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.


Idiot Number Six of 2006

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, “Nobody move!” When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn’t even deserve a sign


Idiot Number Seven of 2006

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.

So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, Here’s your sign (Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)


Idiots in the Neighborhood

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”

From Kingman, KS.


Idiots in Food Service

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef?

Yep… From Kansas City!


Idiot Sighting

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,”Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, ho w would I know?” He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we ask.”

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.


Idiot Sighting

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?!”

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS


Idiot Sighting

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to” downsizing.” Our manager commented cheerfully, “This is fun. We should do this more often.” Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.


Idiot Sighting

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.


Idiot Sighting

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “its open!” His reply, “I know – I already got that side.”

This was at the CHEVY dealership in Canton , Mississippi!


STAY ALERT!

They walk among us .. and they REPRODUCE …!!!

Song for the day – “American Idiot” – GREEN DAY

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Sens 7 Lightning 2

The regular season is almost over, just six more games to go for the Ottawa Senators – and we are looking very strong. After 76 games played, the Sens, fourth seed in the Eastern Conference have 98 points; which is actually second best in the East. But since fellow division rivals, Buffalo, has 103 points, the higest in their conference, Ottawa ends up being 4th. It doesn’t matter, I believe that they can win the Cup. On Saturday they beat 2004 champions  , the Tampa Bay Lightning, 7-2 , in Tampa! Dany Heatley had 2 goals (45 in total) and an assist. Joseph Corvo, Daniel Alfredsson, Christoph Schubert, Patrick Eaves and Dean McAmmond also scored for Ottawa, which has earned at least a point in 20 of 21 games (15-1-5) since Feb. 8. Tampa’s two goals were scored by Ottawa native, Dan Boyle. We could actually use you a lot in the team, Dan. But the team looks ready for the playoffs and this could be the year. I am hoping. GO SENS GO!

Spam Blocker

As you well know, I was having some trouble with spam being fed into my comments section by some very nasty SpamBots. Although they weren’t being displayed on my site, because I have to moderate every comment, it was still a pain in the ass, as I have to go through them and delete them and then also delete the email alerts that I get everytime I have a comment posted in one of my blog entries.

So I was on the lookout for a plugin that worked as a spam blocker, kind of the one like Mack D.Male has on his website. If you want to submit an entry, his spam blocker will ask you to enter a random generated number, which will be displayed next to your comment. That in effect keeps the bots from entering any spam comments in your blog. Not 100% but then what is?

So I searched the net for any such free spam blockers and I found a huge list of such stuff. I downloaded a few and tried them out like Authimage, CompPreVal & Spam Karma 2. Some are quite complicated as it involves not just downloading the .php files but then even altering some of your own files in wordpress. I tried a couple of times but I just ended up getting some errors. Then I found Peter’s Custom Anti-Spam Image Plugin, which is available for download from his website, Peter’s Useful Crap which is free.

It works like a charm! Immediately on activating this plugin, I logged out of wordpress and did a test comment myself and I could only enter the comment upon entering a word. I hope this will be enough to keep those assholes at bay. I am sure that a few will eventually seep through, as the guys who create spambots make them even more intelligent and figure out ways to enter the random generated words or numbers shown in the images. But until then, I think I can rest assured.
Thanks very much Peter. You have given me and many more like me a respite from all that nonsense that those spammers keep pushing on to blogs. Thanks a ton.

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Song for the day – “Hello Mr.Timebomb” – MATTHEW GOOD BAND

Lean Green Ninja Machine

There has been a lot of publicity about the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that has caused some controversy among old time fans of the TMNT franchise. If you grew up during the late 1980s to early 1990s or were a teen during that time, there is a good chance that the green ninjas had a huge effect on you. They were everywhere, so to speak. Even here in India, the movies were selling out or being rented by thousands & thousands of kids from all available movie rentals & stores. I remember two families fighting over who would get the last available copy of the first TMNT movie at a video rental store in the city! There were cakes made in the shape of the cool dudes for any kid who was celebrating a birthday (I almost got one for my sister, but she was turning 23 or 24 and didn’t like the comic heroes).

My cousins and I were huge fans of the foursome and we saw the first & second movies numerous times. We laughed at the jokes, debated as to who was the coolest turtle (it was hotly contested) and shouted ‘cowabunga’ and slapped hi-fives all around whenever we said that and provided good fodder for poking fun at ourselves years later! But no question, TMNT is a huge part of my younger days and I am still a huge fan of it.

A few years after we say the movies, they started showing one of the cartoon series on cable over here. Even though a few years older, I started watching them on a regular basis during the early evening time slot that they were showing it at. I think I saw the third movie, and definitely their least popular, a few years ago, although it was actually made in 1993. My original Turtle fever had died down but I was still nostalgic enough to watch it twice in a weekend.

Then a few weeks ago, while flipping channels I saw the 2003 started cartoon series of TMNT, which is even better than the cartoon series I had seen years back. I started watching it almost every weekday, as it is the perfect time for me – right after I wake up and have my coffee and breakfast. I have become a fan again and was looking forward to watching the new movie – only that it is a computer generated one and first impressions are that I am not too pleased with the way that the lead characters look. But we’ll see!

But wait : one of the songs that is closely associated with TMNT is “Ninja Rap” by rapper & el stupido Vanilla Ice, from the second movie. For my embarrassment, read the following : When I was 15, my cousin Suraj and I recorded a tape of us singing songs, making jokes & fake news, with sound effects no less,  and pretending to be a new radio station with djs and all. One of the songs I sung or rapped was “Ninja Rap” (with really loud & energetic shouts of “Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go” with altered lyrics since I didn’t have the originals. I still get hell for it now, 15 years later.

GO NINJA GO NINJA GO!

Alone In A Crowd

I sometimes feel lost in a crowd. Do you also feel the same?

Seriously, I used to thrive in groups with lots of people. Not so much anymore. I always watch what I am going to say and think it over in my mind a couple of times. That takes up too much time, by the time I am ready to speak my two cents on the topic, the discussion would have turned in another direction. So I don’t say anything at all. Or wait for another opportunity and voice my ideas later.

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Sometimes I can fake it and seem comfortable in front of a crowd. Heck, I’m a trainer so I have to do that. But I prefer it if the class is less than 8 people. I can give them each as much individual attention as possible, the results will speak for themselves. I sound more confident and the sessions flow smoothly. If the room is crowded I am guarded about what I am about to say and have to strain my voice as well.

But coming back, I like to do brain-storming when there are 10 or less people in the room. And if the room is small then it is better. I am not sure how I would do if my job or promotion depended on my performance and I don’t get noticed in a crowd. Might be lost in the chaos.

Song for the day – “I’m With You” – AVRIL LAVINGE

Sens 4 Panthers 2

It’s been a while since I posted on the Sens matches. So here is one played last night or early morning if you are in Asia. Ottawa beat the Florida Panthers 4 goals to 2. Center Jason Spezza had a goal and an assist. The other goals were scored by Patrick Eaves, Dany Heatley & Dean McAmmond. With this win, the Sens completed a 4-0 sweep of all the meetings between the two sides. The Sens were leading 4-0 in the second period, when Florida changed their goalies from Ed Belfour, who gave up four goals in just nine shots, to Craig Anderson who did much better. The Sens were unable to get any shots past him and the Panthers scored two goals of their own. Sens goalie Ray Emery made 35 saves and the Sens have won 5 out of the last 6 games. Heatley stretched Ottawa’s lead to 3-0 at 9:31 when his shot from the edge of the right circle went over Belfour’s blocker. It was Heatley’s team-leading 43rd goal.

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Cat Wisdom

  • Cats do what they want, when they want.
  • They rarely listen to you.
  • They’re totally unpredictable.
  • They whine when they are not happy.
  • When you want to play they want to be alone.
  • When you want to be alone, they want to play.
  • They expect you to cater to their every whim.
  • They’re moody.
  • They leave hair everywhere.
  • They drive you nuts.

Conclusion: They’re like little, tiny women in cheap fur coats.