Damaged

What is the point of living? All I get is one defeat after the other. I am just prepping myself for one more disappointment after the next. It’s like getting damaged and then repairing yourself just in time to get the hurt all over again. And again. And again. Why bother? For what am I waiting? For what am I living? I am just going to have a stream of regrets and disappointments waiting for me the next day. And if I lower my guard and think that this is over, then bam! I get it in the face when I least expect it.

What is the use of trying? I give up. At times like this I wish for it all to end. Better yet, if I can go in a blaze of glory. That would show this fucking world.

Song for the day – “Are You Dead Yet?” – CHILDREN OF BODOM

Sens 3 Pittsburgh 4

The Senators lost the second game of the best of 7 series in the Quaterfinals of the playoffs 4-3 to Pittsburgh. The series is tied at 1-1 and moves to Pittsburgh for the 3rd & 4th games. Jason Spezza, Daniel Alfredsson & Chris Kelly scored for the Sens, while Gary Roberts, Ryan Whitney, Jordan Staal scored for the Pens with Sidney Crosby scoring the winner.

In other matches, the New York Rangers beat Atlanta 2-1 and now have a 2-0 series lead heading towards New York. Tampa Bay beat New Jersey 3-2 to even their series at 1-1, while the New York Islanders beat BUffalo by the same margin and also evened their series at a game a peice.

A day earlier, Nashville even their series by beating San Jose 5-2, and Dallas did the same by beating Vancouver 2-0. Anaheim got a commanding 2-0 lead over Minnesota with a 3-2 at home.

Symphony In The Sky

What a day it has been! I spent the morning at home and watched some tv for the entirety. Then I decided to head out to my old office at Thoppumpady and give some of my former colleagues a surprise. I had also been getting a few complaints from my kids saying that I was not visiting and that I was forgetting about them. Not true, I think about them a lot, but I hadn’t been to see them in over 2 months or so. So I guessed that a visit was in order. By 2:30 I was in a bus headed out to them. I spent some time with many of my favourites from my time there and I was very happy to see them. I do miss them a lot but it is the nature of this life that you can’t spend your time with everyone.

I spent my time talking with them and letting them in on what it is that I do in my new job for about 2 hours. I had to leave after that and was happy that I did get to see quite a few people. I left the office with Aneeja & Renju and Aneeja got into the same bus as me and we chatted for a bit. I went to Cafe Coffee Day and had an Orange Frappe to cool down and relax and enjoy the evening.

By 6:45, Anil came over and we went to Bay Pride Mall for a bit before heading out to Malabar House roof top garden bar for some drinks. As we down 5 rounds each (brandy for him and vodka for me) the skies opened and we were treated to a tropical rain storm of biblical proportions. It really was something. The thunder and lightning accented the mood of the evening and I quite enjoyed sitting there and taking in the effects, the wind blowing in my face and the overall feeling of something beyond human control. Something that can cause a lot of destruction and death but I was lost in the beauty of it.

Song for the day – “Bittersweet Symphony” – Lukas Rossi (as sung in Rockstar : Supernova)

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That keyboardist on TV

You would have seen him on tv or heard some of his compositions in numerous shows all across the globe. He has been the band leader, keyboardist and duet singing partner for Cher for the last 16 years. He has also been the band director for Janet Jackson and Anastasia and a member of the multi-platinum bands Whitesnake and Nelson (band). Paul has also performed and recorded with Peter Gabriel and Shawn Colvin, among many others. Paul received a call from the music producer of Rock Star, Clyde Lieberman, and was asked to audition for the role of musical director for the reality tv show ‘Rockstar : INXS. He competed against 11 other musical directors who had also put bands together (a total of 75 – 80 musicians auditioned). Paul got the gig.

Two of his band members, Rafael Moreira (lead guitar) and Sasha Krivtsov (bass), were also hired. Jim McGorman (rhythm guitar, keyboards) and Nate Morton (drums, percussion) were hired from the other auditioning bands. He returned with the band to do Rockstar : Supernova to great international success. Most of you probably know him from the first two seasons of Rockstar and we look forward to seeing him on tv in future editions of this great show.

Thundering Typhoons

I went back to work today and a leisurely day at the office. All I really had to do was spend two fun hours with a group of new agents, clear some of the doubts that they had and joke with them. After that, nothing else to do except walk around the floor and chat with people, have coffee, take two long breaks – one for a little lunch and another for an evening snack. Bingo! and before you know it, it is time to zip up my office bag and head back for home.

The way back home was far from easy going as the work day was. It felt like it was going to rain all day and a few minutes after I boarded the bus, it started pouring. And I mean pouring. A heavy wind was blowing people off the streets and into shops, hotels and /or shelters and hide from the rain. It was a storm of epic proportions. As I got down at Kacheripady, I realised that I would have to buy me an umbrella and I did get an inexpensive one at the nearest shop next to where I get down. But I managed to get myself very wet due to the wind factor. There was thunder and lightning and it was looking like a scene from a natural disaster documentary on Nat Geo.

The wind kept blowing my umbrella away from me and I was finding it very difficult to walk! Me! Guy with the big belly was having trouble walking because of the wind. Shame on me! Jokes apart, it was very, very windy but I made my way through towards the apartment and no sooner did I reach the gate when the power went out! Shit, that meant walking all seven floors to my apartment, all the while gazing out at the windows for a special effects display of the biblical kind. I won’t be surprised if we wake up in the morning to find arcs floating around. Made it home in one piece and ate a quite dinner in the dark with my mom & dad. The power came back on at 11 and here I am entering it for the sake of you guys.

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Song for the day – “Thunderstruck” – AC/DC

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4 Way Showdown @ Backlash

WWE pay-per-view event Backlash will feature a four way title defence for the WWE championship featuring two pairs of fighting tag team partners. Champion & rap scum John Cena has had issues with his tag team partner Shawn Michaels, also known as HBK (Homo Butt Kisser). They will enter the ring @ Backlash and face off for Cena’s belt and joining them will be two more former champions, Randy Orton & Edge. Now, I can’t stand “bad rapper cum worse wrestler cum worst actor” Cena or Michaels. I won’t be too bummed out if Orton wins it but I am cheering for Edge, who is my second fav current Wrestler after Chris Benoit.

Edge has had two stints at being the champ, as short as they were, and each time it was tainted with having lost to Cena. So at Backlash, I hope he wins it for the third time and we will never have to suffer through Cena’s bad acting & rapping on screen! Ok that is to much to hope for, but atleast I hope he never becomes champ again. Come on guys!

Sens 6 Pens 3

The Ottawa Senators got off to a good start in their first game of the playoffs by beating the Pittsburgh Penguins 6 goals to 3. Dany Heatley had the game winning goal for Ottawa, while Andrej Mezaros, Chris Kelly, Tom Preissing, Chris Neil & Mike Comrie got the other goals. For Pittsburgh, both Jordan Staal & Sidney Crosby scored in their playoff debuts.

In other matches on Wednesday, San Jose beat Nashville 5-4, Anaheim beat Minnesotta 2-1 & Vancouver beat Dallas in the fourth round of overtime 5-4 in one of the longest playoffs games in history. Both set of players needed intravenous fluids to avoid getting dehydrated.

On Thursday, New York Rangers beat Atlanta 4-3, Detroit beat Calgary 4-1, New Jersey beat Tampa Bay 5-3 & Buffalo beat the New York Islander 4-1.

What’s Your Mother Tongue?

So….what’s your mother tongue? And what does that term mean anyway, “mother tongue”? Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about it :

According to some, a person’s first language, native language or mother tongue is the language that was learned first by the person. In terms of that view, the person is called a native speaker of the language, although one may also be a native speaker of more than one language if all of the languages are learned naturally without formal instruction, such as through cultural immersion before puberty. Often a child learns the basics of his or her first languages from his or her family.

Which means, for me, my mother tongue is English or rather Indian English. I grew up learning to speak English first. Whether this was because I was born and raised (until the age of 11) in a foriegn country as English was the standard language used over there or if it was due to the fact that my sister only spoke English (at that point of time) is not clear to me. But the fact is that I have not learnt to read or write Malayalam, the native tongue of my land, Kerala! This has been often surprising to other once they get to know me. To be truthful it has often stumped me as well. How come I never got round to learning it, is beyond me. Convinience and laziness is a huge factor perhaps. When my family settled down in Cochin and we looked for a school for me, language was a main factor. Hence I took “Special English” (a subject given to students who did not know Malayalam) in school from the age of 11 to 15.

Hence I conclude that my mother tongue is English. ALthough that does sound weird to me. Oh flippin’ well!!

Song for the day – “Welcome To Whereever You Are” – BON JOVI

To Play The Man

There is a lot of internet articles & rumours going around about the proposed new Star Trek movie, to be called Star Trek XI or simply Star Trek. Among the rumours circulating are who the cast will be and particularly who will play Captain James T Kirk! Many have already sealed the role to be done by Matt Damon. Others actors mentioned as being considered for Kirk, Spock, and McCoy are Matt Damon, Adrien Brody, and Gary Sinise, respectively.

I personally think that Gary Sinese would be too old to play Dr.McCoy as it is to be when the character was younger, just as Kirk & Spock are to be. Ben Affleck is also rumoured to be playing either Kirk or Spock and it is tempting to have the two close friends playing two close friends – Damon & Affleck as Kirk & Spock. Phillip Seymour Hoffman is also rumoured to play a doctor but not as Doctor McCoy. The choices mentioned has caused reactions among the fans – some of which are positive but mostly in the negative, as the characters are two old to play teenage or early twenties era Star Trek characters, as the per the story for the movie. Yet many feel that the star power could revitalize the franchise and boost it’s ratings & give it the needed push.

But who could seriously replace these icons of science fiction? Who could play Spock? And even more important, who can play Captain James T. Kirk, other than the original William Shattner? Why even try?

Drag Me Down

When you least expect it your life can take a sharp turn down pain avenue. Your guts are spilled out for all to see and you can barely think about anything else other than the reason that made you make that turn. A turn you took reluctantly and unknowingly but one you were led down nonetheless. Whether you wanted to go down that the path or whether you were pushed to it by a force so powerful you had no other choice. But go down there you will and pay the price for doing so.

I took a phone call today at noon; one of the worst calls I have ever had to take from anyone. Other than someone informing me about an accident or a death, this one ranks pretty high. Made me feel about as low as a snake’s belly button. Dragged through the mud and left in the dirt. That is the way I felt at the time and the way that I feel now.

The call lasted for almost a half hour and was one the angriest that I have ever spoken in. I was very upset about it and could not do anything else, so I asked for a leave in order to try and sort out the problem. I don not want people to know or read about what exactly the problem is but it isn’t what you are thinking but it’s complicated. Let’s just leave it at that. I think I can reach a solution by tomorrow, just in time to enjoy the weekend.

Song for the day – “Cuts Like A Knife” – BRYAN ADAMS

Air Guitar & Heart Felt Ballads

I feel so shitty right now; things that I promised myself that I would never do again are being done by me. Why is it that this is an easy promise to break? I don’t do it on purpose, rather it creeps on me quite unnoticed and catches me by surprise and makes me scream “Oh shit, not again”. Why is it so?

    I have not been myself the past few days. Or rather, I went back to the old me, the one I don’t like. The me I become once in a while and who gets me down. I can’t wait to get rid of this phase. It is a waste of energy, time, thought and sleep.

    Akhil & I went to another section of our company today, to check out the recruitment and initial training process and offer feedbacks based on our findings. I was all for getting out of the call floor. So we met there and observed the process happening there, since this is done by an external agency. Got to meet a couple of the trainers that have been hired for this process and the girl was a knockout and a babe and if she became President she would be called Baberaham Lincoln.

    Song for the day – “When Love And Hate Collide” – DEF LEPPARD

    Stanley Cup Playoffs

      2007 EASTERN CONFERENCE QUARTERFINALS 
    Series A - #1 Buffalo vs. #8 NY Islanders 
      
    Series B - #2 New Jersey vs. #7 Tampa Bay
      
    Series C - #3 Atlanta vs. #6 NY Rangers
      
    Series D - #4 Ottawa vs. #5 Pittsburgh 2007 WESTERN CONFERENCE QUARTERFINALS
    Series E - #1 Detroit vs. #8 Calgary

    Series F - #2 Anaheim vs. #7 Minnesota 
      
    Series G - #3 Vancouver vs. #6 Dallas
      
    Series H - #4 Nashville vs. #5 San Jose

    Song for the day - "Crush 'Em" - MEGADETH

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    Weekend @ Wang’s

    Ah it is so nice to have a couple of days off to relax. Ok, I had to work on Saturday (what work?) but I got Friday & Sunday off to do as I please. And the day wasn’t so hot like the past few have been. I woke up and lazed about trying to watch The Descent, which I had downloaded from Veoh. This is a really good movie and I will post about it later. Dad & mom were not doing anything today, except having my nephew Aditya for company and my mom watched a couple of Malayalam movies which she had wanted to see in a long time.

    Anil & myself were supposed to get together with Jibin, our old friend & colleague from Aspin Wall. Jibin is getting married in a week’s time and is also moving to Ireland, as his fiance is working as a Pharmacist in Dublin. He is joining her on a visiting visa and will look for a job there as soon as he lands. I think he already has something setup. Anyways, he had wanted to join Anil & me for a few drinks as we hadn’t spent time together since 2003! Fuck, has it been that long? Seems like only yesterday. So a week back he had called to see if we wanted to meet up and we said yes.

    However, Jibin got stuck with some problems with his visa. So it was just Anil & me….not quite. Anil was running late from an outing with his family, him being christian and it being Easter and all that. We were supposed to meet up by around 6 pm but he called me at 5 to let me know that he would have to cancel. Stuck without a partner, I decided to go out since I hadn’t had any drinks in two weeks. A bath later, I was in Oberoi and had four vodkas along with a light chicken snack. I spent about 90 minutes there.

    Just after I left the bar at 8:15, I ran into Akhil & Jija, who had spent the day out @ Cherai beach and then had headed back into town for a little shopping and some coffee before heading for dinner. I joined them and we headed for Wang’s Restaurant, which also has a Kebab & Hindustani style section. They had been dying to try it out and I am glad that they did. We had chicken kebab, butter nan with hyderabadi chicken curry, urug daal & curd. Everything was downright delicious and finger licking good and we had a lovely evening. I saw them off in an auto which took them to the company provided apartments at around 10 pm and I walked my way back home.

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        Song for the day – “When I Go Out With Artists” – CRASH TEST DUMMIES

        Jane in the Rain

        There are two rock concerts happening in Cochin today.

        One is today by Red Rain – a Christian Rock band from New Zealand and the other is by Cochin natives, Mother Jane tomorrow evening. I am not going for either, as I am not interested in either band. The first one is free and Eldho was after me to attend the concert.

        Things are still slow work-wise and I was almost nodding off by 2:45 pm. Funny, while at home in the afternoons, I never ever sleep. And I don’t eat rice in the afternoons while at work since a belly stuffed with rice makes one feel drowsy for a while. Indeed three of us had a lite snack @ 2 pm and had a proper meal at 5:30 pm. It was porotta and fish curry and curd! Believe me, it was very welcome and quite satisfying.

        download election Spent the rest of my time oggling a couple of cute girls in the call center and fiddling with my phone. Nearly worked out on how to get some good stations on the radio (uh oh)!

        Song for the day – “On The Radio” – REGINA SPEKTOR

        Battlestar Galactica Miniseries

        Ok I finally downloaded and saw the entire over three hours mini-series of Battlestar Galactica : the new re-imagined series. Deviating somewhat from the classic original 1978 movie, BSG features some new characters and changes the sex of a couple of the original ones. The special effects are fantastic and the entire thing is worth watching several times, so – ok, I admit it! This thing could be one of the best things on tv. However I do have my gripes with the series. First of all, I think the new cylons who look & act human are good but I can’t stand the fact that they have multiple cyclons that look similar (played by the same actor). That is so annoying and old. And cylons as babes – not sure that I like it.

        I don’t think that I like James Edward Olmos as Commander Adama – he is no Lorne Green and pales in comparison. President Roslin, played by Mary McDonnell is welcome as is the character of Chief Galen Tyrol played by Aaron Douglas. I like the fact (upon reading on the net) that Tahmoh Penikett who plays Karl “Helo” Agathon is a returning character, since it is not sure as to what happens to him, after he sacrifices his spot in the spaceship so that Baltar can be rescued. The best character I liked was of Colonel Tigh played by Michael Hogan. In 1978, African-American actor Terry Carter played him as a by the book, respected & reliable second-in-command, while Hogan plays him flawed as an alcoholic and not well liked amongst the crew, especially by Starbuck.

        And the whole show seems too Earth like – jogging, tv cameras, mikes, etc etc! And Kara Thrace can never in a billion years be a proper Starbuck – the loveable rogue who seduced women left, right & center, who was afraid of commitment and loved to gamble and played by the actor Dirk Benedict. Thrace is a chick and she can’t hold a candle to Dirk. Plus she comes off too, well, American in this show about characters who are supposed to know nothing about America! Her mannerisms and language is so American. I felt that the original series captured the aspect of human but not of Earth much better than their current counterparts. And Boomer is a girl! I am sure that they are gonna have a sexual liason between Starbuck & Apollo, who is nothing like the 1978 Apollo (he is resentful of his father about Zack’s death). Imagine Richard Hatch & Dirk Benedict kissing or having sex. Yuck!

        Still, it is a good show and entertaining and I will be a regular watcher of the series when it comes on tv here or by just downloading episodes by Veoh.com.

        There are those who believe that life here, began out there

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        This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read

        it everyday. You may not realize it, but it’s 100% true.

        1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.

        2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

        3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be

        just like you.

        4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t
        like you.

        5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

        6. You mean the world to someone.

        ! 7. You are special and unique.

        8. Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.

        9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

        10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another
        look.

        11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude
        remarks.

        April Whine

        .!.

        This is officially the hottest day of the current year in my books and perhaps one of the hottest that I have had to face. The temperature hit 94 °F / 34 °C with a humidity factor of 39%. Is that all? I could have sworn that it was something like 42 or 49 °C; walking outside in the streets was damn near torturous and I can’t imagine working out in this kind of heat. My heart goes out to the people who have to do manual labour in this weather and make a living. Atleast I don’t have to do that.

        A haircut was in desperate need and I went out to do that just around the 1 pm mark. Earlier, I had made my way to Penta Menaka to get a data cable and a 1GB memory card for my Samsung phone. However, it being Good Friday, most of the shops were closed there including the one where I bought the cell from. So I went into another one and got the 1GB card but they were out of data cables for my particular model. A visit to GCDA complex proved in vain as they too did not have the cable, including an official Samsung dealer store.

        Having a cold mocha frappe did help some in battling the humidity but that only works if you remain indoors and you have access to a big fan or, even better, air-conditioning. So a few minutes after I stepped outside, I was perspiring like it was the end of the world. Not a fun way to spend the day.

        Song for the day – “Under The Same Sun” – SCORPIONS

        Good Friday?

        Good Friday.

        What indeed is so good about this day? If your are Christian and you believe in Christ, shouldn’t this day be named more appropriately? Good Friday…he died on the cross on this day didn’t he?

        I think Malayalee Christians have it right – they call this day “Dhukha Velliyazhcha” (Sad or Mournful Friday) . Yuk, yuk, snicker