This blog post actually started out as a comment to a post that Manaf did on his personal blog. It turned out to be lengthy, so I decided to post it here as well. I’ve added some stuff that came to me a bit later. He was upset about the actions of someone who he thought was his best friend but who has seemingly forgotten about their closeness now :
Hey Manaf. I feel your pain. The truth is that you can’t depend on anyone. You open your heart to people and if they respond then that is good. But don’t expect it or demand it. Well, I think each person will get one or two people outside of their family who they can depend on. But it’s not always who we think it will be. They might not be the most glamorous or exciting people but they will be there for you. Sometimes, we spend lots of time with some people and we think that this is true friendship but in the crunch situations, they r not there for u. U might be there for them but it’s not to be expected back. Ask me, I’ve been there, done that.
Several times I have asked this of myself – if i love this friend of mine and i’d do anything for her or for him, then shouldn’t they also be there for me? Shudn’t they want to spend their free time with me? Turns out, they will call me for help but then they can’t give it back. That’s ok. Sometimes things r like that.
I have had two friends who I treated like they were princesses. I adored them, I gave them all my love. I helped them when they needed help and was there for them anything they asked and many times well before they asked. And all I wanted in return was to be their best friend and for them to love me back. And for a time they both did and it was great. Turns out either distance creates amnesia or that I wasn’t cool enough for them to hang out with. It’s no fun to feel that way. So I prefer to be a loner.
I know I have two really good friends. I don’t see them all the time, just once or twice in a month. But I am safe knowing that they will be there for me. Did I expect them to be there for me? No. Did I know them from my childhood? No, I was 26 almost 27 when I met them and became friends. Yet 5.5 years later, they r still my best buds.
Also, even now, I hope that I will find new friends who will stick by me. Just yesterday I came to know that a girl who always teases me and is someone who I never would have thought is my friend, was actually very concerned about me, cause she saw that I was upset. She came to me and spoke very nicely and when she had to leave, she patted me and told me that everything was going to be just fine.
Did I expect that? Not at all. That’s what makes it feel so good. And guess what? I think I made a new friend.