Any Star Trek : Voyager fan (or even if you have just seen a few episodes) will surely also be a fan of the character of ‘the Doctor’ played so abley by Robert Picardo. The Doctor is a hologram Emergency Medical Hologram, to be used only for certain periods when the crew of a spaceship needs it. However, for the crew of the Voyager, he is the main doctor, their human doctor having been killed during the adventure that left the ship stranded in the Delta Quadrent. He had to adapt as a curt, computer program that had little patience with his patients to a compassionate, caring & complex individual who became an irreplaceble member of the Voyager crew. By doing so he goes way beyong the boundaries of his original progamming and more ‘human’ – always trying to develop himself.
In the 23rd episode of the 4th season, a backup of the Doctor’s programming (essentially the Doctor himself but his memories halted at a particular point) is activated 700 years in the future on an alien planet. Voyager had gotten themselves in between a conflict between two warring alien worlds. However, one of the alien races believes that Voyager was a warship & that the crew forcefully helped the other race to subjugate them. So essentially, they created their own version of the events that took place centuries ago. The Doctor is appalled at the fabricated events and pleads innocence.
He has to go up against 700 years of belief that Voyager were an aggressive, murderous force and is able to make the aliens see the actual facts. So now, although his crew is long dead, the Doctor makes a home for himself in the alien planet for a few years until unrest makes him find his way back to Earth on a shuttle. It’s a wonderful episode that no Trekkie should miss.
Home today due to it being a festival holiday. I don’t even care what the reason is, I just like having more days that I can spend at home. More and more, I prefer to spend it alone in my room. If I had my way, I’d only come out for more coffee and some food. And that’s pretty much what I’m doing most days that I am away from work. Alone.
I know I’ve blogged about it before and I’ve got a few of my readers trying to cheer me up or offering advice which I’m not sure that I can follow. I’m lonely. Plain and simple, I’m lonely and mostly it’s because of my doing. I have few friends – I’m talking actual friends. Not colleagues. That could be one reason and the other is that I’m single. I’m lonely and it bothers me.
It wouldn’t bother me so much if I was a bit more younger. I’d feel that I had lots of time in front of me to find my miss right. But I’m 32 now, and even if it isn’t the end of the world, my options seem to be getting dimmer and dimmer. And I have to admit it, I seem to fall for girls/women I shouldn’t be falling for. Just heading for more pain on heartbreak avenue.
I was browsing on my Orkut account this evening when I saw that one of my friends from my previous company had a photo of him and a girl as his profile display pic. I immediately knew that he must have either got engaged or married and quickly clicked over to his profile. Turns out that it was both. He had gotten engaged and married (I think his wedding was in September). I haven’t seen him in over 2 years now, almost 34 months. He had got transfered to Trivandrum in 2005 but we still met once in a while and then to Thrissur. While I got dumped into the company’s sub-agency for a year, he got absorbed into the main firm and is doing well there.
We stopped talking a long while back but there’s no animosity there. We just lost track and I’m happy for him that he’s found a bride and is settling down for a family life of his own. Just like I am for a lady friend who sent me an email to inform me about her wedding, and although I couldn’t go to attend it, I sent her a gift. I’m happy for both of them but seeing stuff like this just reminds me of how lonely I am. I can’t help but feel a twinge of envy.
I’m unhappy with so many things in my life, to change it – where do I begin? I can get so depressed so quickly and I can get angry so easily as well. Certain things really piss me off but I don’t have any control over them so is it good to get upset over those things? I dunno but I’m also wary that if I just be quite then I’ll get trampled all over. I have to be careful as it’s a fine thin line.
Maybe things aren’t so bad. I could be worse off. Is that how lonely people console themselves?