The Whole Nine Yards

Although this movie came out in 2000 and I had seen this twice aĀ  few years back, it’s one of my favourite movies and since I hadn’t seen it for a while, I just had to get a copy for myself.

The Whole Nine Yards stars Matthew Perry as Nicholas ‘Oz’ Oseransky, a dentist who moved from Chicago to Montreal after his partner & father-in-law got caught in skipping taxes. Oz is saddled with the debt and his wife (Rosanne Arquette) & mother-in-law, both of who can’t stand him and find excuses in putting him down and spending his money. Oz confides in his new secretary, Jill (Amanda Peet), who tells him to leave his wife.

Oz meets his new neighbour, Jimmy Jones who he recognizes to being Chicago hitman Jimmy ‘The Tulip’ Tudesky. Having testified against the Gogolak gang, a very dangerous crime family in Chicago, Jimmy is hiding out in Canada. Although Oz is very scared, he also bonds with Jimmy and tells him about how he came to live in Montreal. However when his wive comes to know that there is a reward money for the whereabouts of Jimmy, she makes him go to Chicago and inform the mob that The Tulip is living in Montreal.

From there we have lots of twists & funny scenes with the mob & with the actors. Oz ends up falling for Jimmy’s estranged wife Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge) and Jill, an aspiring assassin who was hired by Oz’s wife to kill him but couldn’t as she found him so sweet, falls for Jimmy. Along with Frankie Figgs, Jimmy’s fellow assassin, Jill & Jimmy hatch a scheme to get away with $10 million and do away with the mob.

In the end, with lots of funny stuff along the way (most to do with a hapless Matthew Perry who is hilarious in the role), Oz gets the girl he wants, his wife is jailed for trying to get him killed (and they also find a dead cop), Jimmy is presumed dead but is happy with $9 million dollars and Jill for company. The other $1 mil is given as a gift to Oz & Cynthia, who get married and honeymoon in Niagara Falls. 8 outta 10.

Wrestlemania XXVI Results

Wrestlemania is always one of the most talked about and viewed wrestling events the world over. I’ve been watching them, atleast clips, from 1985. I haven’t been able to catch this year’s show – Wrestlemania XXVI – as of yet but I’m sure Ten Sports will show it in a couple of days for us in India. But let’s look at the matches:

The Unified Tag-Team Titles: – Big Show & The Miz (c) defeats R-Truth & John Morrison – Big Show is bigger than the other 3 combined!

Triple-Threat Match: – Randy Orton defeats Cody Rhodes vs. Ted DiBiase Jr. – What’s this all about?

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: – Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian – Jack Swagger won this but the best option would have been if Christian won and push him for a title instead.

Triple H defeats. Sheamus – Sheamus is so boring, while like toothpaste but big as a horse! As expected HHH won.

Rey Mysterio defeats CM Punk – Has Punk won, Rey would have to have sworn allegiance to Punk’s stable. But he didn’t have too.

No Holds Barred: – Bret Hart defeats Vince McMahon – Ah, waiting for this for so many years! Vince says he’s bought off Bret’s family, as they come in to the ring. However Bret reveals that his family is there to pummel Vince….and they do. Bret wins and Montreal is finally laid to rest!

World Title – Chris Jericho (c) defeats Edge – I could have sworn that Edge, having won the Royal Rumble after returning from a long injury layoff and becoming a face after so many years, was sure to have beaten Jericho for the title. Oh Well!

WWE Title: – John Cena defeats Batista (c) – Bah humbug! The most moronic wrestler ever Cena wins the title again. Is he secretly Vince’s lover? Why else would you want to award the title to a rap reject several times?

Streak vs. Career: – The Undertaker defeats Shawn Michaels – very happy with this result. I know that retirement matches in the WWE are usually on;y temporary but I can’t help but wish that we have seen the last of HBK. Can’t stand him and that asshole Cena. Sigh, most probably Michaels will be back in a few months.

Sens Update, 23rd March 2010

The Ottawa Senators have finally picked up their game and after the worst losing skid for the season, they now have 4 wins in a row.

It started on the 22nd with a 2-0 victory away at the Bell Center over the Montreal Canadiens. Brian Elliott made 29 saves for his fourth shutout and fifth of his career, Erik Karlsson had a goal and an assist, and Ottawa ended a five-game losing streak. Peter Regin scored his first goal in 10 games midway through the first and Daniel Alfredsson assisted on both goals.

Two days later again riding a huge goaltending effort from Elliot, the Sens were able to knock off an Eastern Conference playoff contender for a second night in a row. Elliott earned his second shutout in two days and Chris Kelly and Daniel Alfredsson scored to lead Ottawa to a 2-0 win over the Philadelphia Flyers on Tuesday night. Elliott stopped 26 shots – including a spectacular glove save on James van Riemsdyk with 3:55 remaining – for his fifth shutout of the season.

Friday the 26th saw the Sens visit Buffalo and get a 4-2 win over the Sabres. Jason Spezza, Alfredsson, and Kelly had a goal and assist each, Elliott made 41 saves as the short-handed Senators beat the Sabres for the ninth straight time. Regin also scored. Then last night the Senators captain scored his 20th goal of the season early in the third period and the Ottawa won its fourth straight, 3-2 over the Florida Panthers on Saturday night. Elliott made 20 saves, and Matt Cullen and Regin also scored for the Senators. Rookie defenceman Karlsson had three assists.

Arsenal 1 Birmingham City 1

A stoppage time equalizer scored by Kevin Phillips blasted a big dent in Arsenal’s title hopes as they failed to secure a victory over Birmingham City. The match ended 1-1 and left the Gunners 4 points below Manchester United and 3 below Chelsea.

The Gunners took the lead in the 81st minute when Samir Nasri fired into the far corner from the edge of the area. But deep into added-time, a Bacary Sagna clearance struck Phillips and flew through Manuel Almunia’s hands. Phillips raced away in delight after the 250th goal of his impressive career, but he knew little about the strike which hit his head and was parried by Almunia before looping in.

United had a resounding 4-0 win over Bolton while Chelsea hammed Aston Villa 7-1.

An Evening With Friends & Chinese Food

Two evenings ago Anil called me up to say that he wanted me & Madhu to come out for some dinner as he has been having a craving for some real Chinese food. He seems to like the food at Chiyang, which is very close my apartment but for two reasons I do not like to go there 1) It’s really hot and I wanted to go to a place which has an air condition and 2) both Madhu & I do not like the food in Chiyang!

So I said ok as long as Madhu & I get to choose the restaurant (which would have anyplace other than Chiyang. We decided to meet up at Barista Cafe and then find a place. I told them that I could leave the office at 6 pm and would meet them there. However, since both of them left their respective offices at around 4pm, they were hanging out at Barista for quite a while and at 6 pm they called me up to say that they were heading out to get a beer and asked me to meet up with them at the Menaka bus stop. I was delayed for a few more minutes at the office due to some issue and hence was a bit late.


A little after 7:30 pm, I met the two idiots at Menaka, after I stopped at an ATM to get some cash. We stood there at the bus stop and bickered like 3 school girls over where to go for some dinner. As Madhu & I had vetoed Chiyang, Anil kept bringing up some other ideas for places to eat. Finally we decided to head out to Chinese Garden in Pallimukku and we hailed an auto and made our way there.

Now, I hadn’t been to this restaurant since 1994-95 but it used to be a favourite family restaurant for us when I was growing up. I can remember quite a few dinners with my family, cousins, uncles & aunts. The last time I was here was when I was 18 or 19 with an older childhood friend who treated me to lunch. So I was looking forward to going there for dinner. However, I’m amazed that they had an appalling flooring. It looked like it hadn’t been fixed since the 1980s and there were loose gravel and pieces of what felt like pebbles to me – couldn’t make out as they keep the lights at a minimum.


So we sat down at a corner table and looked over the menu. Anil and I were a bit disappointed to learn that they had stopped serving beer at their establishment since the last 14 months – apparently things got a little out of hand a few times and the owners decided to stop stocking up beer as they wanted it to remain a family restaurant. Anyways, atleast we really like their red lanterns that they had all over the place. We decided to start with Sweet Corn Crab soup and happy to state that they were really good.

Next we ordered two bowls of egg noodles and 1 bowl of egg fried rice along with two bowls of chilly prawns and 1 chilly fish. I must say that their food was really good, especially the noodles and the prawns, which turned out to be these huge tiger prawns. We ate and talked for a while and the food was reasonably priced. The downside was the water – they served us cold mineral water and charged ys Rs.40 for the two bottles they served at our table! What the fuck! Charging us for water is the lowest of the low. I mean, yes I understand that it is bottled mineral water but we just asked for water and not the pretentious & pompous bottle stuff.

Once the meal was done, we walked for a bit in the general South part of M G Road as Anil was looking for a bus that would take him to Thrissur where he stays. He managed to get a ride on a Greyhound that was headed for Coimbatore after a little bit of haggling – the owner said that they only take on passengers who want to alight at Coimbatore but the bus driver agreed to do an under the counter agreement with Anil and drop him off at Thrissur. Once Anil was safely in, Madhu and I got into an auto and after he got off at Menaka where he had left his bike, I went on home.

When It Finally Rains, It Fucking Pours!

It finally rained! Can you imagine what it feels like after waiting for so many weeks it has finally rained in Cochin.

It has been so hot & sweaty since mid-January and it has been the worst summer that we’ve had in – probably ever. I can vouch for that! It’s been like the fucking sun has had a beef to pick with the state of Kerala and moved his ass a few thousand kilometers closer to us just so he could shine his stupid self onto us.

The results – cold fruit juice stands every 500 meters or so, 20% increase in air conditioner sales and a whole lot of increase in power consumption throughout the state. As evenings & nights are hot & muggy, people are having less sex than ever before (ok, I have no proof of that but I certainly touch myself less than ever). Water usage for bathing is on the increase as more & more people take 2 or 3 showers/baths in a day.

And then last night it rained. It must have been after 2 am or so. I was briefly aware of lightning in the distance as I went to sleep and it started raining around that time. Then, typically for the fuckers at KSEB, the power failed. I woke up and opened the windows to let in some cool air – there wasn’t enuff of a breeze to have any effect. Still, it was raining. But then it picked up in intensity and then it poured & poured. The wind factor was still less and hence mosquitoes were still in full force. Well, you can’t get everything.

Around 5:30 am it trickled down to just….well a trickle. As I look outside now, a little past 6:30 am, Cochin town looks a little more lush. She is glowing. I hope we get more & more rain. Cause I think we deserve it.

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Relaxing On The Starship

I’ve often thought what I would do if I were on the TNG era USS Enterprise or the USS Voyager of Star Trek fame. Let’s say that I was a Lieutenant (well at age 33 I’d better be either a Lieutenant or Lieutenant-Commander atleast) from the Federation’s Starfleet assigned to one of these ships. I’d go about my duties and try to do my best to serve my planet and the Federation.

Once my duty shift was over, other than head back to my quarters and relax: what else would I have to do for fun? Head for the lounge area (10 forward) or the mess hall? Play games of poker along with my fellow officers? No, I’d go to one of the Hollow-suites. Ofcourse in this vivid imagination of mine, my dog Shawny is still alive and with me on the ship.

So I’d take my dog with me and head to the hollow-suite. I’d program the computer to run a relaxing simulation – a woods type area with lots of lush green grass and plenty of cool breeze. We’d walk down the path to a small lake or pond. I’d say “Computer, add boat” and a beautiful boat would appear on the lake – it will have soft cushions and arm rests too. We both would get onto the boat, where on one end my dog would curl up and lie down on her big cushion and one the other end I’d sit and recline back onto big pillows.

Something’s missing – ah yes food. From the replicator I’d get a big bowl of strawberry milk with huge strawberries in it for my dog and some dog food in another bowl. While she chowed down on that, I’d get a beer and a big ham sandwich. We’d eat our food and relax on the small boat, enjoying the water and the cool breeze until the time ran out on my time in the hollow-suite.

Or until I hear the code red alarms as those damn Borg attack us!

Stargate Universe : Episode 9 “Life”

The episode stars with Chloe doing yoga in the observation room. Lt.Scott and the military men led some of the others in a physical training session. We also see Dr. Lisa Park getting intimate with one man and then later on ignoring him and having sex with another. TJ is worried about Spencer’s mental health.

Rush has Eli use the kinos to help search new sections of the ship that they have recently opened up. They discover the chair (pictured above), which is known as a Repository of Knowledge and connects to a person through nero-circuitry and may hold the master code to the ship’s systems. Meanwhile Col.Telford has struck a friendship with Col.Young’s wife Emily.

TJ is asked by Young to do pysch evaluations of everyone as he is worried about the crew. Using the stones, Scott goes to see the girl he got pregnant and finds out he has a son. He tells the girl that Scott wants to transfer his pay to her account so she can quit exotic dancing and go back to school, but the proud girl refuses. Camille Wray meanwhile, in the body of a young Caucasian soldier, goes to meet her lover Sharon. It takes little convincing for Sharon that the young lady in front of her is Camille.Ā  They enjoy a day of good food, wine and sex.

Young finds out that Telford is visiting Emily and confronts the two. Emily says that he is just her friend but she also believes that Young is having an affair with a woman on the ship (believed to be TJ). Before Young can attack Telford, the latter has someone removed the stones, thereby severing the link. Later on Earth, Volker arrives in another body via the stones. Telford is seen exiting a house. He’s then assaulted by an airman. It is revealed that it wasn’t Volker but Young using the stones all along, so that he could assault Telford.

Rush is caught in a lie – in order to get someone to sit on the chair and activate the neuro-link, he falsified data about a planet, one year away, from where they can dial Earth. The brief happiness in the crew is brought down to a sudden death when they learn that the data is false. Thus ends a bad day, as Young puts it.

ReGenesis : Season 2 Review

When Season 1 ended David Sandstrom had gone on a self-imposed exile to China and the rest of the team are just about coping without him. However David is kidnapped by the PLA to investigate a recent outbreak that has killed 19 people in China. Later, David is horrified when he learns that one of the scientists has decided to test the antidote on her self in order to expedite a cure. While he makes his way back to Canada, a horrific protest by an individual ends up with him being shot dead and Audrey Graves, a pregnant woman who has been infected with a new strain of HIV from Africa by the protester via a needle.

With David back in the fold, the lab searches for a drug cocktail that can halt the progress of the new AIDS strain but it is too late to save the baby from contracting the virus. Meanwhile, Mayko recruits Simon Jessup, a British neuroscientist, to help her investigate a possible link between IQ spikes and Mad Cow disease. Mayko and Simon begin to develop a personal relationship before Mayko realizes that Simon is married.

While attending a conference in New York along with Bob, David’s meets up with Owen, a petty thief who leads him to an underground community where people are getting sick. Against his better judgment, David gets involved with finding out what makes them sick and is linked to the weed co-op run by the community. Owen comes to Toronto in search of David and ends up living with him for a while. Meanwhile, Jill believes that she has discovered a cure for juvenile diabetes from an unsanctioned line of Korean stem cells, while Caroline is distraught at the state of her nephew in a coma.

David & Carlos also investigate a bacteria that hasĀ  destroyed orange groves in Florida and they head to Cuba to trace the source. Back in Toronto, Caroline’s nephew Glenn fails to respond to his surgery, but does manage to utter one last, devastating message – he wants to die. The lab also investigates acidic rain clouds which is headed for Mexico City. Then Owen, who is a Meth addict, gets involved with a 16 year old girl who then dies after an overdose and he is charged. NorBAC must unravel a genetic mystery when fish bred in an East Coast fish farm start exhibiting unexpected and dangerous mutations.

On a personal note, David’s mother dies and he finds out that his father has Alzheimer’s disease and that he later burns down the family house. David has his father brought to a retirement home in Toronto. David is led to the work of a dead friend who was working on the gene that leads to homosexuality and was experimenting on mice. While working on a deadly virus that has affected a number of US soldiers, Jill is exposed to it and is hospitalized after she goes into a coma. David & Carlos use an authorized & experimental drug to keep her alive.

While they are working on the conspiracy by Caroline’s superiors and her assistant Wes is in on it, they are led to Connor McGuin, an ally of Caroline. Just as this all begins to sink it, a human bomb terrorist explodes in the lab. Who is killed, who will survive?

Another Tiger Woods Connection!

You’ve got to admire Tiger Woods decision to come back to the PGA tour after a four month absence. I mean, after all the dirt that has been dished about, Tiger (has got Wood) can expect that from the first day on the grass he is going to be a target for hecklers.

I know he’s got a ton of fans but the casual golf fan would have turned against him by now. The first opportunity to find out how he plans to deal with it will come April 5, the Monday afternoon of Masters week, when he sits for his pretournament interview. And as I read, every week it seems that another bimbo reveals her affair with Tiger!

When did he ever find time to be the champion golfer that he is & stay with his wife and have two kids while humping all those women? The hookers, porn stars, night club cocktail waitresses – dudeĀ  must have an unending supply of Viagra! And now – it seems that he used to date LeAnne Rimes. But that was before his marriage.

Tragedy @ Meenachil River

I suppose most of you in Kerala and most Malayallees living outside the state have heard about the tragic bus accident – when a private bus carrying 40 passengers plunged into the Meenachil river at Kottayam yesterday. Ten persons, including four women and a child, drowned along with the bus conductor. A rescue worker also collapsed and died on the scene.

The private bus, overturned after hitting the electric post and fell into the Meenachil River at Thazhathangadi, near Kottayam, yesterday afternoon. The incident occurred at around 2.15 pm when the driver of the bus, coming to Kottayam from Cherthala in Alleppey district, was seen giving way to a vehicle passing by and hit the electricity pole on the roadside. Most of people were rescued by the villagers, who rushed for their help after witnessing the incident. Besides, the local country boat operators plying in the region rushed to save people, which prevented it from becoming a major mishap.

The whole state mourns the tragic death of those who perished in the accident.

And They Are Just 4…

Today, 23rd March 2010, saw the release of All In Good Time the 13th studio album by the Barenaked Ladies and the first studio release (a live album was released last year) without co-founding member, singer/songwriter/guitarist Stephen Page. The album will be released in the US on 30th March. With Page’s departure, keyboardist Kevin Hearn and bassist Jim Creeggan have filled the void by contributing a comparatively greater share of lead vocals, to complement Ed Robertson, than on previous albums.

It’s bitter sweet – I can never get enough of BNL but knowing that Page is not on this record is depressing.

Wenger Out To Sign Two Defenders?

With William Gallas, MikaĆ«l Silvestre and Sol Campbell are all out of contract at the end of the season, coach Arsene Wenger is making defense his priority. Talks with Gallas, who would like the security of a two-year contract extension, remain ongoing, although the France defenderā€™s negotiating position is hardly being helped by what Wenger described as an ā€œendless calf strainā€. Gallas will be 33 in August, but has not played since the 1-0 win against Liverpool more than a month ago and is a major doubt for the first leg of Arsenalā€™s Champions League quarter-final, on March 30 or 31.

Silvestre is also due to hold contract talks this month, while Campbell, who has been generally deputising for Gallas in the most difficult matches, is likely to wait until the end of the season before finalising his future. With Johan Djourou still recovering from a long-term knee injury and Philippe Senderā€™s on loan at Everton, it leaves Thomas Vermaelen as the only fit and available centre-back whose long-term future is settled.

Wenger has been monitoring Fulhamā€™s Brede Hangeland and, with Arsenal having recently recorded pre-tax profits of Ā£35.2 million, he could certainly afford one major signing.Wenger has shown interest in bringing both Hangeland and Neven Subotic to the Emirates and this summer he would do well to invest a large chunk of any transfer warchest in strengthening and rejuvenating an ageing and stuttering back line. However Fulhamā€™s towering Norwegian could well be a good signing and the type of player Wenger could get the most out of. Borussia Dortmund centre back Subotic is one for the future and the 21 year old Serbian may be a youthful prospect but he has already shown himself to have quality during his stint in the Bundesliga.