‘Tis Better To Have Loved And Lost

Ever had your heart broken? Ever felt like it was not only, broken but it had been shot, sliced & ripped apart from your chest? Yeah you have? Well join the fucking club!

I’ve been heart broken a few times, had a long term relationship slowly deteriorate and die about as painfully as possible. I still have the scars and bruises (metaphorically speaking). I have had a situation where someone liked me and I liked her back but because of multiple issues we both left it unspoken and I kinda found out about her side a month after she left the country. Good call.

I’ve also recently harboured strong feelings for a colleague for over a year and kept it well hidden (or so I thought) only for her to call my bluff two nights before she was to leave the company and head back to her family. The morning she was leaving, she called me from the airport she cried and actually said that she shared the same feelings but then she went cold once she reached back home and we fought and haven’t spoken since. I was devastated for a while and couldn’t think of anything else for months.

I also fear that I will end up alone and not know the comfort of a loving relationship with a woman and will likely never get married or have a partner.

Inspite of this I still think that it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. It makes you stronger, it’s part of what being a human is and what life is about and even though it hurts, I guess if I do finally get married it will make me be that much more sincere & genuine with my woman and never ever think of taking her for granted.

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My Preferred Writing Medium

For quite a few years now, I barely use pen & paper unless it is for attending a training of some kind. As a rule, I always carry a pen with me at all time when I go out. For work, I carry two pens, one black & one blue, and a diary. You will find an assortment of pens and atleast 3 notepads and 2 diaries in various stages of being used inside the drawers of my desk at work. Every Jan 1st I get a brand new diary for that calendar year for taking down notes and stuff. I scribble ideas, points for later reference, important information and sometimes even hastily read out numbers and phone numbers too.

As a rule, pens are the most unsafest things in our office and I suppose in the last offices that I have worked at as well. I must have lost atleast 50 to 70 each year that I have been in this office – 2007 till date. For a while I only bought he cheapest brands of ball pens in order to keep the cost to a minimum but someone still ends up stealing them. Or borrowing them and not returning/forgetting to return them. Most of the time even I forget who borrowed my pen and thus end up at the end of the day pen-less.

But I use pens & paper quite less and less as each year passes by. Atleast I and my team take a lot of printouts at work and hence use up a few bundles of A4 paper every month. But the art of writing in a book or paper is dwindling for me as I prefer using the computer. From the age of 15 till 23 I used to maintain a journal and write a few sentences each day (the original form of this blog). I find that my hand starts to tire or cramp up after writing for a bit. And I usually end up losing the paper/book and then have to start all over again. This is not so when using the lappy and hence the preference.

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Caramel Espresso Frappe & The End

Perth 2007 053 originally uploaded in Flickr by onionsoup

That looks so delicious. And with that we come to the end of my Sunday Morning Coffee Pic series. I’ve been doing this regularly for quite a few months now but it’s time to quit that weekly feature. I’m also glad to end this series with a pic of one of my favourite coffees. I love Caramel frappes.