The last time I watched a beauty contest like Miss India or Miss World Or Miss Universe or Miss Behavin it was still the 1990s! I do hold any of these titles in any esteem whatsoever and find most of the show & pageantry to be a laugh (and not a good laugh) and a joke (a poor joke). Kochivibe has listed the most frequently asked questions during a contest like this and if I were female and, ahem, a contestant on one of these shows, here’s how I would answer:
1.What famous person does your personality resemble and why?
A. Mother Teresa!! I am so like her, giving & loving & sharing and taking care of others
2.At what point does a girl become a woman?
A. Silly question. When she first needs to start using a pad! And I’m not talking about the one from Apple (fits of giggles)
3.Do you consider yourself to be a giver or a taker? Why?
A. Well I give but I also take. When I take I am being given but by giving I am also taking pleasure at the same time in the act of giving. So I am a Givetaker!!
4.What would you like to see done to improve the public’s understanding of the importance of organ donation? Why?
A. There are so many musicians who can’t afford to buy their own instruments. That is talent gone to waste. We must donate keyboards & organs & guitars to needy musicians who are poor, so that they can make a lot of music and make a living.
5.What are the best qualities a parent could share with their children? Why?
A. Good looks & hygiene.
6.What do you expect to gain by participating in pageants? Why?
A. Money. Offers to act in commercials & tv & movies. Hopefully a tasteful Playboy spread.
7.If you could change one thing about the world what would it be?
A. I would make it easier to locate on the map. It really is difficult. They say world map but then they don’t show you where the world is. I’m pretty sure that it’s somewhere between Europe & America but that’s all.
8.What is the biggest challenge to young people today?
A. How to remain young & beautiful on a budget!
9.Which is the most significant role in a woman’s life? Is it of a daughter or a wife or a mother?
A. Definitely it’s all 3. Because a woman is a daughter and a mother and at times a mother. She can be a wife but sometimes she is the significant other. Or just the other ….woman that is. It’s all so hard & fulfilling!
10.If you are crowned tonight how would you feel and why?
A. I would hold my hands to my face and yell out loud. I’ve already got my air kisses and smile in place. The tears are the hardest but I have a pair of tweezers – one yank on my pubic hair and tears will start streaming.
These are the answers of a winner.