Somethings I Don’t Like To Share

I’m a pretty open book kind of guy for the most kind. In general I am ok with sharing my views and things about my life. My aim when I do that is to open up to people and hopefully that may offer me some relief and if someone can benefit from my experience – fanfuckingtastic! I wouldn’t want to share a very personal situation / event with people I am not comfortable with but other stuff is fine. I do that a lot in my field of training – a lot of what I share is for their benefit. Plus on my blog it’s a lot of personal stuff and I’m ok with a lot of stuff that I share. When I feel that it’s a little too personal, as you can notice, I password protect it and only share it with a select few.

Anything related to stuff that makes me feel embarrassed, is something I don’t like to share. Not just that people may misinterpret it and see me in a totally negative light – we are all guilty of some terrible thoughts once in a while. But I am not comfortable in sharing it. It is for me and only me. I am also not willing to share some of the feelings of inadequacies that I feel from time to time. Particularly because this really pisses me off. I have tried typing up such posts but other then getting them off my chest and onto print, I have no desire for it to be read. Those things are probably my darkest thoughts. The feelings of rage and anger and utter bitter contempt I have for a few people, based on their actions – you would be shocked to read my feelings that I can put into word and because it is directed at people, some of who are related to me, it would shock the shit outta you!

The personal feelings of failure and frustration – I can share most of it. I can’t share a lot of my feelings about some of the stuff but to an extent I can give you a fair idea of what I am going through at certain times. I also cannot share a huge personal thing which involves my most darkest thoughts – it’s just way too crazy for me to put in words. I get ashamed and embarrassed and vent out in own way to get rid of them whenever they appear in my mind but never in words here.