I seem to have less patience and lose my temper quite more frequently these days. I’ve always been an emotional person, with my heart on my sleeve. People can tell what I am going through by just looking at my face – I have never been able to hide my emotions. My grandmother once joked that I am, according to an old saying, a person who has his anger “right at the tip of my nose”. Even the slightest thing can knock it and anger me! Although she was just pulling my leg all those years ago, I do think it is very true now. Back then the only people who brought out the anger in me were my mom and my sister and my grandmother was actually meaning my interactions with them when she said that.

Otherwise for most of my childhood and upto a few years ago I was known and a gentler person, some one who was very understanding and gave you his ears when you had some sorrow to share. And I’d always give my shoulder for you to cry on. Heck if you are a hot babe, I’d give you both my shoulder and a whole lot more to cry on :) But I digress! These days I’m more liable to give you a swift kick in the ass if you are not careful – if you happen to be a jackass, as asshole and not a very nice person or if you just plain annoy me. Otherwise for the good people, hey my shoulder is always there for you to cry on and I’ll sympathize and empathize, make you laugh once again at my awful jokes and cheer you up and be patient & listen as you pour your heart out!

I seem to not have much patience with the assholes who travel in the buses in my city. Most people are rude, inconsiderate and try to make life miserable for the rest of the people as much as they can. They stand feet wide apart, block your way in, stand too close to you, personal space just being an alien concept to them, poke you with their elbows, shoulder and bags and make travel in the buses a harrowing experience.

And today – after I left the office, I went to Palarivattom to pay off my way overdue phone bill at the Vodafone office. As I was getting down this man in his 50s places his hand on my shoulder. Now, this is the system here in Kerala – if someone (typically an asshole) wants to get down from a bus in a hurry, he will push the person in front of him or place his hand on their back or shoulder and push them or guide them out of the bus to indicate that he is in a hurry. A few weeks ago when I was getting into a bus I saw this guy, who was blocking people’s way into the bus by standing at the door in the first place, slowly pushing people into the bus like they can’t get in on their own. When it was my turn to climb in he did the same to me, I looked at him and told him to shove off and stop touching people for no reason. You should have look at the face of that idiot after I said that loudly.

Now back to this evening – so this moron is trying to push me forward while there are 3 guys in front of me still trying to get out of the bus and one guy behind me and then only this impatient motherfucker. I lost my temper. I grabbed his hand and forceflly pushed it away with some force. It was in a rude manner but the fuck did I care – he started it! I was furious and the look on my face could have burned him into ashes in under a minute. As I got down I turned to look at this asshole but he wouldn’t look at me, embarrassed beyond belief. And then two college aged boys came up to me and said “Thanks! He deserved it. He pushed the both of us towards the side as he was trying to get down as well!”