India To Go On 2 Day Bandh

For the first time that I can remember India is to go on a 48 hour strike (called a bandh locally) as 11 trade unions and national federations of various professionals.cutting across party lines decided to go ahead with the 48-hour strike on February 20 and 21, which was declared a while back. The labour unions who have called the stir on issues of price rise issue and violation of labour laws, which they see as a failure of the current government. The strike has been called jointly by Bhartiya Majdoor Sangh (BMS), Indian National Trade Union Congress (INTUC), All India Trade Union Congress (AITUC), Hind Mazdoor Sabha (HMS), Centre of Indian Trade Unions (CITU), All India United Trade Union Centre ( AIUTUC) and other such organizations. The Independent Federation of Workers and Employees too has joined the protests.

So taxis, autos, public buses will stay off the roads during these two days. State Transport Corporations (STC) are gearing up to ensure normalcy of bus operations in Tamil Nadu. Any college & university level examinations have been postponed. Schools will remain closed and some exams have been postponed. Milk is exempted from the bandh call. So there will not be any disruption in the milk supply, said an officer from the KMF. Petrol pumps could also run out of gas for those two days, as oil and gas supplies will be hit. Road transport, telecom sector, coal production and supply, oil and gas supply, power sector defence production, are going to participate in a big way in the 48-hour strike, the trade union leaders said, while addressing a joint press conference last Saturday.

In Kerala, my home state which is no stranger to strikes & harthals (almost every month we get atleast 1) the two-day strike is going to give the public a tough time as all services — excluding drinking water supply, milk, newspaper and hospital – will come to a standstill. All public transport vehicles, including autorickshaws and taxis, will keep off the roads and all services, including banks, will be non-functional.

Describe Your Life In An Alternate Universe

Ah something that I dream about all the time, day dreaming, nigh dreaming, while sitting in the loo, while on the bus ride to and fro work, while having coffee/soft drinks/beer/vodka by myself in the evenings or the weekend. It’s on my mind a whole lot and I’ve created several different versions of it. I’ve posted some of it on various posts throughout the years on this blog. Here is the simpler one, one that could have been if I had studied hard and got good grades. In this alternate universe:

At the age of 23, after completing an engineering degree in computer software, I move to Canada (select Vancouver or Ottawa) chosen to work for a mid-sized software development company that also does work for some bigger companies. So August 1999 just after my 23rd birthday, I fly in a plane to Canada and meet up with the company representatives who recruited me and then get taken to my 1 bedroom apartment downtown. After a day and a half to recover from jet lag, I go to the office and am introduced to my peers and take to my workstation. I meet my colleagues who will soon become my friends and get oriented to the job. My first few weeks are like this – work, getting accustomed to a new climate, culture & country, home, sleep and repeat. First pay check comes and I go with my new friends to a bar and have some beers. This becomes a routine with my friends – drinks on the weekends. I buy clothes and especially winter wear :).

Two  and a half years later, with a little better pay grade, I find a nice 2 bedroom place with bigger rooms – enough to make the second bedroom a home office/library and also with enough space to entertain and have parties. Things go really well and in 2001, almost 3 years after I left, I come back home to Cochin for a month to spend with my folks, sister and cousins. A month later I’m back in Canada and having a good time – both working and playing. At the age of 26 I meet this wonderful Anglicized French Canadian redhead who’s the ultimate woman I’ve dreamed about. I become friends with her and soon start dating. Our routine goes likes this – weekdays it’s either coffee or dinner a couple of days and we spend the weekends together alternating between her place and mine. This goes on for 4 years until we decide to get married and find a nice big condo/house for ourselves. So before that I have to visit Cochin again and spend some time with y family and tell them about the wonderful girl I’m seeing. Ofcourse me marrying a white Canadian is not exactly what my parents had hoped for their son but we’re both atheists so what do we care about nationality & ethnicity. This is when I’m still 29 and I go back to Canada and propose to my girl and we agree to get married in 2006 when we both will be 30. I arrange for my parents & sister to come to Canada for the wedding.

So just before the marriage my girl and I find this awesome duplex condo or house (take your pick) which is just perfect for us. 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom, 2 balcony and 1 den where I store my library and dvds and later blurays and my home office, separate kitchen and latest kitchen appliances, with huge fridge for storing my beers and a wine cooler. A couple of years later we decide to expand our little family and get 2 dogs and 2 cats. And 6 years have passed and everything is just sweet. Now, how do I get to this alternate timeline?

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The Avengers

It’s taken me this long to watch what is now the 3rd most grossing movie of all time. Yes, I know. But since I do not go to theatres since 2005 the only way for me to get this was to wait a while until the dvds were released. But then, once the dvds were available here – I kinda lost interest as I had seen so many clips, read a lot about it and seen too many comments, review videos and images on it. You can get burnt out of a movie because of overexposure. So I waited this long to get it but I did enjoy every second of the film, I must say. So The Avengers, a 2012 Action/Superherp/Science Fiction movie, produced by Kevin Feige, directed by Joss Wheadon who also wrote the screenplay and rewrote the original story by Zak Penn, stars Robert Downey, Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Tom Hiddleston,  Clark Gregg, Cobie Smulders, Stellan Skarsgård and Samuel L. Jackson.

This movie doesn’t let you take a full breath, relentlessly bombarding with stunning visuals, action, spectacular special effects and some comedy. It is an amazing movie that does not disappoint and even leaves room for some character development. It is a deserving of all the money that it has made and shows off the rest of the world just what us fans of his knew all along – Joss Wheadon is an awesome director and he has made that jump into blockbuster movies really well. Ok so for some points on the movie:

  • So just like in 2011’s Thor, Loki is the main villain here and he gets to battle all the Avengers superheros while aided by a scary & powerful alien army.  Loki encounters the Other, the leader of an extraterrestrial race known as the Chitauri and in exchange for the energy source known as the Tesseract, he is promised a Chitauri army with which he can subjugate the Earth. Loki uses a portal to get to earth & takes the Tesseract and uses his scepter to enslave Selvig and several agents, including Clint Barton, to aid him in his getaway. Nick Fury & his agents Maria Hill & Phil attempt to get it back but fail, causing Fury to activate the Avengers.
  • Natasha Romanov is tasked to bring Dr Bruce Banner in from Calcutta (in another Hollywood depiction of India as just a colourful slum), while Phil visits Tony Stark and Fury himself goes to see Steve Rogers. Loki is caught in Stutgart after a brief fight when his brother Thor appears to take Loki back to Asgard. Iron Man & Captain America convince Thor to bto S.H.I.E.L.D.’s flying aircraft carrier, the Helicarrier. There Loki is imprisoned while scientists Banner and Stark attempt to locate the Tesseract. It is clear however that the heroes are not a group yet and tension arises in disagreements and when it is revealed that SHIELD plan to create weapons against possible hostile aliens.
  • Barton and some of Loki’s men attack the Helicarrier and disable a couple of the engines and causing Banner to get angry and turn into the Hulk and go on a rampage, attacking both Romanov and Thor who fights it out with him. Loki escapes, killing Phil on the way, as Romanov knocks Barton out, releasing the mind control that Loki had on him, while Captain & Iron Man restarts the engines. Fury uses Coulson’s death to motivate the Avengers into working as a team.
  • As Loki begins his planned take over of earth, a huge portal opens above the skies, leading to a Chitauri invasion fleet. ogers, Stark, and Thor evacuate civilians with assistance from Barton, while Banner transforms back into the Hulk and goes after Loki, eventually beating him into submission. Meanwhile, Fury’s superiors attempt to end the invasion by launching a nuclear missile at Manhattan. Stark intercepts the missile and takes it through the portal toward the Chitauri fleet. The missile detonates, destroying the invaders’ mothership and leaving their forces disabled on Earth. Stark’s suit runs out of power and he falls back through the portal, but the Hulk saves him from crashing to the ground. Romanoff deactivates the portal to prevent further invasion. In the aftermath, Thor returns Loki and the Tesseract to Asgard and the rest go their separate ways though Fury assures his superiors that they will return if needed.

There is a post credit scene in which The Other confers with his master about the invasion and the resistance from the Avengers and the mysterious alien grins evilly at the camera. This is surely the path that the sequel is to tread. I’m happy to see Jeremy Renner for the first time since 1995’s Senior Trip and a 2000 episode of Angel. The comedy in the movie is welcome and ofcourse the best is the Hulk, a scientist who beat up two gods in Loki & Thor. Infact I laughed so hard in the best scene of all – on being told that Loki is a god, Hulk picks him up by a leg and thrashes the crap outta him and says “Puny god”! Scarlett Johannsen, Tom Hiddelton, Mark Ruffalo, Cobie Smuthers, Robert Downey Jr were all great in the film. To be honest I though the weakest links were Chris Evans & Chris Helmsworth – they were good but the others were great!

Everything looks great in the film and it’s safe to say that it’s one for the ages. I give it a 9.5 outta 10!

Falling Skies – Season 1

Falling Skies is a scifi series dealing with an earth post a hostile alien invasion. Set six months into a world devastated by an alien invasion, the series focuses on the  2nd Massachusetts Militia Regiment, a group of civilians and fighters fleeing post-apocalyptic Boston. Produced by Dreamworks television, the show is broadcast by TNT on cable. Noah Wyle, Moon Bloodgood, Collin Cunnigham, Sara Carter & Will Patton leads a large cast.

The pilot tells us about the aftermath of the alien invasion in which mechanical attack drones called “mechs”, a race of green-skinned six-legged beings known as “skitters” that appear to control the mechs, and a third mysterious race known as overlords, presumably the actual engineers of the invasion and the masters of the skitters. In just a few days the world’s power sources, technologies & militaries are all but destroyed along with almost 90% of the human population. the aliens try to round up children between the ages of 8 and 18 and attach a biomechanical obedience device onto (and into) their spines, referred to as a “harness”. The harness controls the child’s mind, and forcibly removing it generally kills the child. 6 months after the invasion is where the season starts, focusing on the survivors who aim to strike back, and specifically the  Second Massachusetts  led by retired Captain Weaver and Boston University history professor Tom Mason who, while in search of his son Ben, who is under control of the aliens, must put his extensive knowledge of military history into practice as one of the leaders of the resistance movement.

Tom and his eldest son Hal are often out on missions and seek permission from Captain Dan Weaver to go searching for where the critters keep & use the young humans for various jobs, in hopes of rescuing Ben. Meanwhile the group has to find shelter and a base of operations, food & water to keep their population safe and medicines to heal the sick and the wounded. While some fortify the base, an old school building, Weaver has his men go on raids for supplies while watching out for the aliens and listening to instructions from Col.Porter who is in command and elsewhere. They are able to get Ben and another boy from the aliens and remove the harness with the use of a blow torch. While Ben settles back with his father and two brothers, the other boy is reluctantly staying with the humans. It is later discovered that the critters themselves have the same harnesses meaning that the mysterious race have taken the critters by force from some where else and are controlling them just as the young humans were under control when hitched to the organic harnesses. The second mass must survive attacks and even a traitorous attempt by another unit, who agreed to give the 2nd mass kids to the critters in exchange for their own safety, and numerous attacks by the mechs.

Mason & the other tangle with John Pope, a former convict and rebel who does things his own way but also comes up with a bullet made out of Mech armor can penetrate the Mech itself. We also come to terms with the possibility of humans who have collaborated with the aliens in exchange for food, shelter & safety. The 2nd mass goes to destroy a large alien construction from a lot of their ships seems to be coming & going. On the way back to the 2nd Mass Tom and Weaver are blocked by Karen who has been captured and now wears a harness. She tells them the aliens had not expected such a high level of resistance and this had intrigued them; they want to talk. Weaver and Tom are furious that the aliens have the nerve to try negotiation after everything they have done now that Earth is proving not the easy target they thought. An alien ship lands and Tom is asked to come aboard. He agrees only after being told it is the only way to save Ben from the transition that is befalling him. The episode ends with Tom taking Karen’s hand and leaving a shocked Weaver behind.

She Rides A Bike & Beats Up Eve-Teasers

As a part of One Billion Rising Campaign, which creates awareness about violence on women, Shangumugham beach was witness to a gathering of women and girls at 6 pm on Thursday. One Billion Rising began as a call to action based on the staggering statistic that 1 in 3 women on the planet will be beaten or raped during her lifetime. With the world population at 7 billion, this adds up to more than one billion women and girls. College student Amrutha Mohan led a bike rally. And on a day that saw a celebration & declaration for women all over to stand up for themselves, an incident occurred later that day that solidified that event.

At 10:30 pm at night in Kerala’s capital Thiruvananthapuram, the four men who accosted a group of women to pass lewd comments about them must have thought they would get home scot free. Unfortunately, they didn’t gamble on one aspect, one of the women Amrita happened to be a trained practitioner of ancient martial art Kalaripayayuttu. Amruta described how she had gone out for snack to a local eatery with her parents and some family friends when a government vehicle stopped near them and the four men inside the vehicle made some comments about the women present there. Since her father and his friend had stepped away to get food, a bold Amruta confronted them and after a brief exchange of words the vehicle sped away leaving her shouting after them to return and face her if they had courage. After some time the men in the vehicle reportedly returned and got into a scuffle with Amruta’s father at which point it became too much for the martial arts expert and she stepped in and took on the men, in the manner she knew best.

It was only when she took on the men that others present there came to assist them, Amruta said. On the basis of her complaint, one Manoj, 32, a Nedumangad resident, was nabbed and presented before the court. Though there were reports that the abusers were travelling in a government department car, police are yet to confirm it. On a day when the ‘One Billion Rising’ campaign sought to highlight the plight of women in India and improve their condition, Amruta perhaps stands out for her courage and standing up for herself. From her childhood itself, Amrutha has been learning Kalaripayattu and Karate. She is also a passionate bike rider and had used the Harley Davidson owned by her uncle for some time and now owns a Bajaj Avenger.

Making Babies

Does every couple, married or just living together, have to have children? And by that I mean make babies. Is it really a biological urge for most humans to want to reproduce, for women to want to be mothers and give birth and for men to want to have a child who they can raise & provide for? I ask this because it seems that way with some exceptions, and I count myself to be one of the few who do not really have a desire to have kids. But what gets me is that this lack on interest in making babies is considered to be abnormal, a sin and even selfish by some people who are quite vocal about their opinion about you not wanting to make more people.

I think I have mentioned my arguments with friends & colleagues who vehemently “disapprove’ of my preference of not even wanting to have kids if and when I do get married and saying that my mind will change once I have kids of my own. That is a stupid argument because if I’d have to change my mind to have kids in the first place! Also if say, after I get married, and I happen to get my wife pregnant without us both actually meaning to have a child, and we do go ahead with the pregnancy and have the child – I think I’m enough of a stand up guy that I will definitely take care of the baby and raise it properly and provide all that I can for the child and love it immensely. Also please remember my point was that I wasn’t interested in ever having children – I never said that they or anyone else shouldn’t have kids or that it was worthless to have any. If they want to procreate – hey who am I to stand in the way? I just don’t want any myself and no I do not think it to be selfish!

But while we are on the subject I’ll tell you what selfish is – if, like a lot of Indians, a lot of Malayalees do, is to make kids just because you are expected to and people will ask you why you don’t have kids and you want to avoid the question! Or really stupid is to make kids not because you want them but because your parents want to play with grandkids or they are forcing you to produce some! I’ve even been told by some people that they have kids because they want someone to take care of them in their old age – how the fuck is that not being selfish? I will not ever get married or have kids for anyone else, not even my parents, unless I want it myself. That’s because it’s the wrong thing to do and it’s not fair on your spouse or kids or to yourself. Yes I do want to get married, I wish I already was and I wish it is to some woman who truly love me and wants to be with me and vice versa. I do not think I can ever get married to someone just for the sake for doing it – that’s just not me! Do it if you want to but that’s not for me! Me not you but me! Someday I hope to find my woman and I will settle down and get married if that’s what she wants to. And if we so choose to we might get a dog or a cat or two dogs and two cats, maybe some birds and some fish in a tank! And if we so choose to have babies we will. That’s none of anybody’s else’s business.

Pizza With A Cousin

I hadn’t had pizza since late December and I was hungry for some. Yesterday it so happened that I forgot to pack a lunch for work and ended up eating just a few biscuits in the afternoon. So I was hungry come 5pm and decided to meet up with my cousin Sujith for some pizza at the Dominos outlet in Palarivattom.

Well, I couldn’t pick up my lunch and actually Sujith & I had planned to meet up for pizza well in advance – we planned it the past Sunday and agreed to make it on Tuesday. Me not having had lunch was just a coincidence! But yes that did leave me famished by 5pm and so I quickly left the office and made my way to Palarivattom junction where Sujith would be waiting for me.

So we met at a half hour past 5 and went into the outlet and perused through the menu. We ordered a Zesty chicken and a chicken pizza with golden corn something. And two 600 mls cokes. It was a hot day, the weather turning a bi mean these past few days and we were happy to sip our cokes but not happy that there were a few flies in the place. A couple of them were bothering us!

So our boxes arrived and we tucked into our medium pies. we also shared a slice each of the other’s pizza and I must say that I preferred his better to mine. Anyway, we were happy to munch on our slices and chatted for a while.

This is his pizza!

And this was my pizza!

ROSHAN’S ELEVEN : Odd Questions

Q. Which food, when you eat it, instantly transports you to childhood?

A. Shawarma sandwiches and khuboos & hummus

Q. If you could become any type of animal, what type of animal would you choose to become? Why?

A. Hmmm, maybe a wolf cause they look so cool. Or a hawk so I could soar across the skies.

Q. If you could learn to play a musical instrument, which would you choose? Why?

A. First choice the guitar, second the drums.

Q. Describe your ideal job — where would you work? What would you do?

A. Provided money wasn’t the issue, I’d like to work in the music industry and work closely with musicians and bands.

Q. If you could have one superpower, what superpower would you choose? Why?

A. The power of invincibility :)

Q. If you could travel to any planet in our solar system, which planet would you choose and why?

A. Mars is where all the action is. But I also want to visit Pluto and console it for losing it’s planet classification.

Q. Would payment in the form of money sway you into doing something you wouldn’t normally do?

A. I must be honest and say absolutely!

Q . Sea or sky? Why?

A. I love the sea and would love to see the fish and animals that live under the waters but…the sky is my eternal love!

Q. Do you shower in the morning or at night before bed?

A. Usually in the morning. If I am not going out, I might only shower in the late afternoons, 5 or 5:30 pm. If it is a terribly hot day and I have traveled and am sweating like a pig, then I’d shower in the night as well.

Q. If you could travel through time, what period would you visit?

A. The time periods during which the great pyramids of Egypt were being built. 2560 BCE and before. I’m curious to see how the built them and if aliens were involved!

Q. What’s at the end of a rainbow?

A. One end of a rainbow. You travel to the other end you will find the other end of the same rainbow!

The 5 People

Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. If this is true, which five people would you like to spend your time with?

I have a friend who lives in Bangalore. Not only is she very sweet & a nice person but she makes me feel good about myself. Plus we enjoy a very flirtatious yet totally platonic relationship & friendship. Currently she is one of the few girls who receive – and has even appreciated & asked for – my flirting skills.

I have two friends I used to very close to. Asha & Catherine – both girls and both who I have treated like they were closer than sisters to me. I miss them terribly and I know I was & still could be special in their hearts. Due to circumstances, they both moved away with families a few years ago and we lost touch for a while. And now once in a while I get a comment on Facebook or a “hello” here and there. I wish it were much more. They are really special girls and I wish I could be as close as we were before. Sorry – women!

Anil & Madhu : Madhu is now living / working in Qatar and hence I do not get to see him. When we was here the three of us were a trio (I compare us to Kirk, Spock & McCoy) and get together for drinks & dinner once a month or so. These two are my best friends and I miss the fun we had till January 2012, which is when Madhu left for Qatar. I’d really want to spend a couple of evenings or more with the two of them each week if possible.

There are a whole lot more people, some who I haven’t even met that I want to spend time with too :)

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Ottawa Senators Update, 10th Feb 2013

Ottawa has had an eventful 7 games since the last update. The Senators closed off January with 2 successive wins on successive nights – a 3-2 against Washinton & a 5-1 against Montreal. But February didn’t start on a good note as they lost 0-1 to the Carolina Hurricanes which was followed by a 1-2 loss to Montreal two days later. After those two away loses, the Sens players were grateful to come back home and score a 4-3 victory over the Buffalo Sabres. This respite was short-lived however because they welcomed the Hurricanes to the Scotiabank center and lost 3-2 in overtime two days later.

And then last night there was the 0-1 loss to the visiting Winnipeg Jets who will be happy for the revenge for the season opener loss. After 12 games player Ottawa have dropped two spots on the standings (since the last update) and now sit at 6th in the East just below hated Ontario rivals the Toronto Maple Leafs. Ottawa has 6 wins, 4 loses and two OTs for 14 points. In the East New Jersey leads the pack with 17 points and sit at the top but Chicago has 20 points, leading the Eest and the league. In two nights we pay the Sabres at home and the very next evening we travel to Pittsburgh to play the Penguins. With Spezza injured, Kyle Turris & Erik Karlsson lead the points tally for Ottawa with 10 & 9 points respectively. Guillame Lantandrese is also out injured so we need Alfredsson & Michalek to get more goals for us.

Go Sens Go!

The Wicker Man & The Wicker Tree

The Wicker Man is a 1973 horror film directed by Robin Hardy  andwritten by Anthony Shaffer. The film stars Edward Woodward, Christopher Lee, Diane Cilento, Ingrid Pitt, and Britt Ekland. Paul Giovanni composed the soundtrack including some really good songs. The movie is based on the 1967 novel Ritual by David Pinner but has several changes. The story centres on the visit of Police Sergeant Howie to the isolated island of Summerisle, in search of a missing girl the locals claim never existed. Howie, a devout Christian, is appalled to find that the inhabitants of the island practise a form of Celtic paganism.

Sergent Howie, a devout & celibate Christian is sent an anonymous letter requesting his presence on Summerisle, an island known for their bountiful production of fruit, concerning the disappearance of a young 12 year old girl named Rowan Morrison. Taking the station’s boat plane, he travels to the island where he find the locals strangely not only showing no recognition to the girl’s photo but her name as well. Even the girl’s mother says she doesn’t exist and that she only has one daughter, who is with her. Howie is disturbed to find out that the people on the island practice paganism and worship the ancient Celtic gods of their ancestors. Couples copulate openly in fields, children are taught in school of the phallic importance of the maypole and frogs are placed in the mouth to cure whooping cough. He then finds photos of the May Queens, 12 year old girls selected each year, with that year’s produce but sees that the one for 1972 is missing – and told that it broke. The local school teacher & children all lie to him about not knowing Rowan but Howie finds the school register with Rowan’s name stricken off.

Howie meets the charismatic leader of the community, Lord Summerisle, who’s Victorian era scientist grandfather  developed several new strains of fruit that he believed could prosper in Scotland’s climate. He also led the people to go back to worshiping the old gods. On exhuming Rowan’s grave he only finds a dead hare, leading him to believe that Rowan is to be a pagan sacrifice and confronting the Lord. Howie later discovers that a negative of last year’s harvest photograph does in fact exist. It shows Rowan standing amidst a group of boxes, indicating that last year’s harvest was a poor one and that the crops—the island’s only means of income—had failed. Howie believes that Rowan is kept alive to be sacrificed during the May Day celebrations. That night the inn keeper’s daughter Willow, does a soft, seductive dance in the nude. Although she is in her room, the celibate Howie feels her presence and is tempted. The next morning while trying to get help, Howie finds his plane damaged so he now has to find & save Rowan himself. He beats up & ties the inn keeper and wears his costume – Punch who is a prime character in the festival, representing the “fool” in a historic tale. Howie joins the procession that goes throughout the town, performing harmless “sacrifices’, dancing & cavorting. Rowan is found tied to a tree. Howie cuts her free and flees but after a brief chase, emerges at another entrance where Summerisle and his followers stand waiting for them. Howie is shocked to see Rowan merrily embrace her captors and then notices that he is being surrounded.

Summerisle explains that the crops did fail and the Howie was lured to the island using the missing girl as bait. His devout Christian lifestyle, virginity and his livelihood as a policeman mean that he meets the outstanding criteria for a human that is to be sacrificed to appease the gods and provide a successful harvest. And the last bit – thinking he was rescuing Rowan, Howie came to the sacrificial place of his own free will, a critical point for the sacrifice. Howie is stripped bare and dressed in robes and is locked in a large wicker man statue along with some animals. The statue is set on fire while the islanders surround it and sing a folk song, while an anguished Howie condemns them and recites a bible hymn. As the movie ends, the flames reach the head and it falls down, revealing the morning sun in the distance.

All the while the villagers were lie playing a trick on Howie, denying Rowan’s existence while giving each other knowing winks. Paganism abound : pregnant women dancing barefoot through orchards of blossom trees, nubile young girls jumping naked through a fire on a lawn surrounded by penis shaped topiary, small 1970s boys prancing round a maypole while singing a song with suggestive lyrics. Christopher Lee is at his best even while sporting a yellow dress and long black Morticia Addams wig, doesn’t seem in the slightest bit comical, but rather is imposing, lordly and awfully sinister. Some comedy, some bleakness, some beauty & some horror ; 9 out of 10!

Set in a similar vein as the 1973 horror classic The Wicker Man, Robin Hardy, who directed it, wrote a book called Cowboys For Christ back in 2006 and then directed The Wicker Treebased around the story of that novel. The book deals with many of the same themes and ideas, namely the clash between paganism and Christianity. The movie was shown in film festivals in mid to late 2011 and given a world wide release in 2012. The film stars Graham McTavish, Jacqueline Leonard, Brittania Nicol, Henry Garrett, Honeysuckle Weeks & Clive Russell with a brief cameo by Christopher Lee.

Beth & Steve are part of a born again Christian group in Texas who call themselves the “Cowboys For Christ” who travel to “heathen areas” of the world to preach Christianity. Beth is a successful country and gospel singer with a mainly female fan following and she & fiance Steve both wear purity rings waiting for their wedding night to consummate their relationship. However Beth has a more raunchier image before she was “born again”, shown in one of her earlier music videos, wearing short & tight outfits singing provocative lyrics & gyrating with male actors. The two are chosen to go to Glasgow, Scotland to go and “save some souls’ there. They get a less than warm welcome; although the people appreciate the songs none want to listen to preachings about accepting Jesus into their lives. People politely shut their doors in the faces of the young Steve & Beth who want to spread the word, much to the dismay of the born again duo. They however get a warm reception from their hosts Sir Lachlan Morrison and his wife Delia, the laird of the small village of Tressock in the Scottish lowlands. The people there worship the ancient Celtic goddess Sulis. They invite Beth and Steve to come back with them to preach, but intend them for a more central part in Tressock’s May Day celebration.

Steve is smitten by Lolly, who in turn shares her affection for him. When Steve chances upon a naked Lolly praying in the brook, she asks him to join her and they then have sex. With the exception of Lolly, it is apprent that the others in the village treat the duo the way people would treat a clever pet who just showed them a new trick. People praise Beth’s voice and her songs and even join them but it is clear that the duo haven’t even begun to convince them about Jesus or Christianity. The folks want to prepare for their main festival the May Day celebrations. Beth is invited to be the May Queen and is given the special dress make for the occasion, while a reluctant Steve is to be the laddie for the day. Steve meanwhile is having second thoughts about joining Beth and feeling guilty about having sex with Lolly. He tells Beth that he plans to go back and that it is over between them, saying that he is just a dumb cowboy while she is a famous singer. On a side note Lachlan admits to his wife that he isn’t a true believer in their pagan religion, merely using it as a convenient tool or him to use to control the village. Lachlan is poisoning the environment via his nuclear plant. He uses ancient sun worship to rationalize his work, just as he uses Paganism to control a people damaged by radiation. He’s pulling the ultimate bait ‘n’ switch by convincing the village that religion can solve their fertility problems, when in fact it’s pollution from his own plant leaving them barren.

On the evening before the celebrations Beth is at a fancy dinner and dance and goes to sleep tired. She is given a glass of warm milk to drink by Beame, who has used sedatives in it. However Beth falls asleep and a cat in the house drinks it up, breaking the glass. The next day Beame comes to inject her with more sedatives but Beth pokes his groin with a broken glass shard. After being attended to, Beame captures her and while sedated she is dressed. Steve is led to a castle and is ripped apart & devoured by the villagers while alive. Lolly tries to get to him to warn him but is too late. At the Wicker Tree Lachlan is confronted by Beth and on knowing Steve’s death, she angrily knocks Lachlan down and burns him along with the tree. The villages stand and watch and join in a song on Beth’s prompting and then leave back to the village. Beth, seemingly safe , tries to make her way back when she meet a young boy, who leads her straight to the waiting villagers who grab her and embalm her to look forever as her best and is displayed along with previous May Queens.

The movie is black comedy and a parody of the cult favourite status of The Wicker Man. Hardy makes a movie which is neither pro-Pagan nor pro-Christian, making criticisms of both. Steve & Beth are so full of the crap that most devout Christians, especially born again ones have and view every non-Christian human as a lost soul just waiting to be saved! The Pagans meanwhile indulge the duo – almost like “oh you can talk, that’s nice!” and are all the time preparing the two for the sacrifice. Yet I wish the acting were better and we had a better story. 6.5 out of 10.

Celebrity Cricket League AKA Me, Me, Me

Watched a bit of CCL stuff while at a bar. Self-indulgent, ego-maniacs, actors posing as sportsmen and squeezing as much more tv time as possible. It is so fake that silicon boobs & porn stars look genuine by comparison. Each time a player hits a 4 or a 6, cameras pan to some chicks who jump up & down, bouncing their only useful assets and then do a typical, stupid dance routine when they know that the cameras are on them. Hugging & kissing. Even more dumber blond women cheerleaders with their un-choreographed dance routines so out of step with each other. And the stupidest names for the teams!

Imagine if you are a sportsman in any of the other sports – football, hockey, athletics, table tennis, tennis etc – you would be pissed off at all this unnecessary show off stuff happening in Indian television. Look at the sponsorships happening. Look at the money spent. Look at the tv coverage. Now imagine you have toiled all your life trying to achieve a certain level of excellence in your field of sport. Indian is a huge country, with the second largest population in the world (over 1.21 billion as per numbers from 2011) and with making babies not diminishing, we are projected to overtake China in less than 30 years or so. Surely there are enough people to support several sports and bring in viewership and money – oh no, cricket takes precedence over anything else. With all the matches that India plays, then then have state level and then IPL and now CCL. Where will the other sports be? Sidelined with occasional bouts of headlines!

So yes pretty women with glamorous looks and bodacious bodies bouncing about, hugging & kissing whenever a 4 or a 6 is scored, making a spectacle of themselves – and the channels don’t try to hide it, even putting these scenes in slow motion replays – is good for gathering viewers. Cricket is by far the main sport in India and hence it’s natural that these actors who want to keep hogging the limelight will look for ways to add themselves into the mix. Team owners as team captains, Face of the team, glam doll actresses as brand ambassadors (yes only in India people) and interviews with these actors on the pitch, off the pitch, before the game, during the game, after the game. Women checking to see if the camera is on them and then instantly becoming the most passionate fan that this short lived team and league could ever hope to have. Oh the humanity! The worst thing to happen to India is Indian cable tv channels!

The Saga Of My PAN Card

Finally I got my long awaited PAN (Permanent Account Number) Card. In the history of PAN cards (which is not that long but still) mine is the one that has taken the longest from the original date of application. I should have taken my PAN card a few years ago but always failed to fill the application form after taking one (I took 6 forms at different times from 2007 to 2011) and never applied till November of last year. So let me tell you the saga.

On November 11th, after my applications for a credit cards being rejected due to not having a valid PAN card, I finally decided to get over myself and go and apply for it. There are several agencies through which you can apply for the PAN but I chose the route via my bank – Federal Bank. That was mistake number one. Most people choose their bank route as it is a lot easier but the service at my particular branch of Federal Bank has been horrendous and I should have been wiser. Anyways, I went there got a form, filled it out and gave them my ids forms – my voter’s id card (as an identity proof) and my apartment’s landline bill (which is in my father’s name) as the residence proof. On being told that the application would get rejected as the landline bill wasn’t in my name, the bank AM had a suggestion – use the bank statement which a lot of people are doing. So I did, remitted the money for the application and they said that they would use the statement. I was to wait for a month – well the agencies have promised the card in 7-10 days but alright!

30 days passed by and no card. I waited some more. On December 28th I called the bank and asked them the status. My application had been rejected – why? because my id proof was not valid. I asked “Did you send the bank statement like you said that you would?” “Oh, we forgot!” Suffice to say, they said that they would resend the application once the form gets back to them. January 18th I get a text message saying that my application was in progress! Yippee! I waited till just a week back and went back to the bank and asked them the status. “You should get it in a week!” And then this happened!

This morning as I was leaving the apartment building, the security guard from the building opposite mine called me and showed me a crumpled, dusty envelop with a person’s dusty partial shoe print on it. The envelop contained my PAN card and luckily it was well covered and hence not damaged. The post man must have dropped it on his way there. This envelop is a registered mail and ideally he should have got someone from my residence to sign for it, in case I wasn’t at home. Luckily for me, a handyman at the next building say it and gave it to the security guard as he recognized me! What the fuck!

Anyway, I now have my PAN Card and have applied for a credit card this afternoon!