The Ultimate Escape Plan

Describe your ultimate escape plan (and tell us what you’re escaping from)

I’d escape from my life. I am in such a big rut right now that I’d like to get away from this place and never come back. There isn’t anything to really come back to. I’m wondering is this it and am I never gonna be happy in my life? Am I destined to live in this stupid little apartment with my parents and not have anything to look forward to? I want them to be happy and to have a nice life but my things aren’t getting done and I know it’s a case of part my fault and part shitty luck and circumstances. Living in the same old routine, staying in my small bedroom because I can’t stand any of the religious crap that they watch or pray and since I don’t watch the things that they watch. So  retreat into my room, spend most of my time online and listening to music and watch tv shows &  movies on my computer that I download. I come out to eat, I come out to get more water and I come out of the room when I want to use the bathroom or when I am heading outside.

I’m 36 and will turn 37 in a few months and I’ve never been married or lived with a woman I love. Not that living in without marriage is going to really be possible in India, we’re still very conservative, but you get what I mean. With the exception of some months back in 2002-03 and a few weeks in 2011, I’ve never lived on my own or in a place that I’ve rented. When I live here it’s someone else’s rules, even if it’s my dad’s. I can’t live my life as long as I live here and that’s right because it’s my dad’s and mom’s place. And that’s usually the case in India. In the place that I live, you only move out for two reasons a) if you got a job in another city or far from where your home is or b) when you got married! Or c) if you made a ton of money. Let’s just say that none of these reasons are true for me and that’s why I still stay with them. I want to live close to them but not with them. I want to be able to go and see them if either of them are sick without having to travel for more than an hour or so. But I don’t want to live with them. Their religious stuff drives me crazy. Their ideas on things drive me crazy. Their bullshit tv programs drive me crazy. So I want to leave this area.

If I had a lot of money I’d rent a nice little apartment somewhere in the city or a suburban residential area. Or get my own place, buy it outright. Or if I could get the money and leave this place altogether. Go to Goa or some island like the Turks & Caicos islands or somewhere like that. Where no one knows me and life can start from that point onwards. No baggage (not the physical stuff, I’ll need that ofcourse) and no past. Clean slate. Get everything that I am fed up of out of my life and reboot, restart, re-life! Live near the seas, eat shrimp and lobsters everyday, grill and beer every night. Find some woman who wants to be with me and say goodbye to a sad life.

Powered by Plinky

The Lion Tamer

If you ran away and joined the circus, what would your role be? Would you run a concession? Would you train elephants? Be a clown? Ringmaster? Why?

I was never into the circus much, not even as a child. Over the years living in Cochin we’ve had a few visits by a Russian circus and not even a molecule within me was interested in going and seeing them. I do remember some really good acts that I have seen on tv with juggling, trampoline, balancing and all that stuff. Major talented people some of them. I remember in particular one act that came from Korea (not sure if it was North or South) and they did this amazing 20 minute show that blew the American crowd and everyone who saw it on tv.

Other than those I have seen bits in some movies or tv shows and that’s about it. Sometimes of knife throwers with amazing aim, some magical acts and some clown bits that draw laughs. But if were to join a circus I’d want to go all the way and do the most daring acts – those with lions & other cats. The lion tamer. Put my head into the jaws of a huge lion that looks so ferocious but he wouldn’t close his jaws to crush my head because he has been trained by me. That and make these big cats jump through hoops, do a little dance, chair jumps and make them behave as calm as pussycats.

That’d be me in the circus, drawing the most gasps and the oohs and aahs.

Powered by Plinky