Three Blonde Jokes

One: A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I`ve kidnapped you.” She then wrote a note saying, “I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde.”

The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”

Two: A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.” Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.” Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger. Second, I’d advise you to relax. Let’s have a cup of coffee, then ………..

“Let’s put all these Frosties back in the box.”

Three: A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door and, sure enough, finds him in the arms of a redhead. The blond is furious. She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and aims it at her head. The boyfriend yells “No, honey, don’t do it.”

The blond replies “Shut up. You’re next, you bastard.”

Finite Beings In An Infinite (Perhaps!) Universe

At what age did you realize you were not immortal? How did you react to that discovery?

I can’t remember at what age I started thinking that I know I am a mortal being and that I won’t live forever. As a small child most of us here in our family are bombarded with shouts of “be careful”, “you will hurt yourself” or “that’s dangerous” by our mothers, aunts and elderly women especially. Hence I think the concept of getting badly hurt is drilled into our minds at a very young age. Understanding that nothing lasts for ever and you or your loved ones could die at any point of time is a different matter. When I was 12 years old my dad brought home a puppy – a Pomeranian & Alsatian mix-that stole our hearts from the moment we saw her. My older sister and I loved the pup, who we named Lassie, so much that we didn’t want to go school (college for her) the next couple of days. The pup however was doomed as it was later discovered that she had an infection of worms that she got from the breeders.

4 days after she came to our home my heart would break as she passed away ill from the worm infection and the fact that she drank some petrol from a can she overturned (she was in our garage during the day until a doghouse for her could be built) according to the vet. That was perhaps the first time I realized that people and beings I loved and were close to me would die someday or the other. I cried for 2 days and that lesson was learned. I’ve been aware of mortality, both my own and that of my near and dear ones in a very precises manner yet I am never prepared for it. I tend to be sad and withdrawn and shake my fists at the absurdity of life and this disgusting arrangement of time and the end. Why does one have to die?

It’s no wonder that this elaborate futuristic science fiction fueled world that I have created (I’ve tried to put it on paper more than a dozen times but I failed to put the words to the fantastic images in my brain and day dreams) mankind and all of earth’s creature lived in a very safe and advanced world, free from pain, sorrow, hunger & strife and also, due to an alien virus that has mixed in with our own organic shields that protect us, made us immortal i.e stopped the aging process so that unless we are forcefully killed we will live on forever. Sounds good to me. I want to live forever.

Prompt from the Daily Post at