3 Religious Jokes

One day Jesus was out for a walk, strolling near the walls surrounding heaven, when he heard an old man’s voice call from the other side.

“Hello? Hello?”

Jesus replied, “Who is it?”

“Just a poor, old carpenter searching for his son,” the old man replied.

Jesus’ heart leapt with joy and he called out, “Father?”

The voice answered back, “Pinocchio?”

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There was a new preacher who wanted to rent a house in the country. The only house available was rumored to be haunted. Since the preacher didn’t believe in such things, he rented it.

It wasn’t long before the ghost made its appearance. The preacher told his friends about the ghost, but they didn’t believe him. They told him the only way they would believe was if he would take a picture of the ghost.

The preacher went home and called for the ghost. When it appeared, the preacher explained the situation and asked the ghost if it would mind having its picture taken. The ghost agreed.

When the picture was developed, the ghost wasn’t visible. Feeling very disappointed, the preacher called again for the ghost. When it appeared, the preacher showed it the picture and wanted to know why the ghost wasn’t in it.

The ghost thought a minute and replied, “Well, I guess the spirit was willing, but the flash was weak.”

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REAL STATEMENTS FOUND ON CHURCH BULLETINS

The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The associate minister unveiled the church’s new giving campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge–Up Yours.”
8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Clean Slate

Explore the room you’re in as if you’re seeing it for the first time. Pretend you know nothing. What do you see? Who is the person who lives there?

Hmmm interesting topic.

Ok, I have just stepped into the room, a bedroom. I see an old (not working) pedestal fan near the door. Dusty and need of cleaning. Next to it and right smack against the center of that wall is a big steel almirah (cupboard or wardrobe). Next to that is an old broken computer swivel chair on which some books and a laptop bag and some other stuff is kept. There is a builtin two door cupboard in one corner. Let me take a look inside – it’s got a bunch of boxes with Star Trek starship models inside it and some magazines and a few clothes in a lower shelf.

On the opposite side of the steel almirah is the bed, pushed towards one side. Nice sturdy bed, queen size and looks comfy even if a little hard. Towards one edge, stacked together are a smartphone’s earphones, a BlackBerry Q10, an iPad with box, a couple of books and an office id tag. On one bedpost is a USB cord tucked away. Looks like a lonely guy sleeps here. There obviously isn’t a woman’s touch.

There’s a clothes rack pole thingy next to the windows and just beside the built-in cupboard. A clean shirt, one worn pair of trousers and one worn shirt are hunt on the round pegs. A slightly torn bag is hanging off one of the pegs on the lower level. Finally we have a small table on which a laptop, mouse and speakers rest. There are a bunch of external hard drives, dead & new batteries in covers, modem, extension cords, dvds and cases lay in the lower racks.

Looks like the place of a lonely guy who sits in his room a lot and spend a lot of his free time online.

Prompt from The Daily Post at WordPress.com