More Religious Jokes

The first commandment states: “I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”
But two of the seven deadly sins are vanity and envy. Fucking Hypocrite!

According to the Bible, God killed 2,391,421 people and Satan only killed 10.
Anyone else think we might be following the wrong guy?

Why did God make man before He made woman?
Because He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

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Two lovers intersted in spiritualism and reincarnation vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world ezactly 30 days after their dying. As luck would have it, a few weeks later the young man died in a car wreck. True to her word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days later

At the seance, she called out, “John, dear John, this is Martha. Do you hear me?”

A ghostly voice answered her, “Yes Martha, this is John, I can hear you.”

Martha tearfully asked, “Oh John, what is it like where you are?”

“It’s beautiful. There are azure skies, a soft breeze, sunshine most of the time.”

“Well what do you do all day, ” asked Martha.

“Well Martha, we get up before sunrise, eat some good breakfast, and there’s nothing but sex untill noon. After lunch, we nap until two and then have more sex until about five. After dinner, we go at it again until we fall asleep about 11pm

Martha was somewhat taken aback. “Is that what heaven is really like?”

“Heaven? I’m not in heaven Martha.”

“Well then where are you?”

“I’m a jack rabbit in Arizona

Runaway Jury

Runaway Jury is a 2003 American legal thriller film directed by Gary Fleder and starring John Cusack, Gene Hackman, Dustin Hoffman, and Rachel Weisz. It is an adaptation of John Grisham’s 1996 novel The Runaway Jury. Also starring in the movie are Jeremy Piven, Bruce Davison, Bruce McGill, Marguerite Moreau & Jennifer Beals in supporting roles.

The book is always better than the movie in most cases and it certainly is the case over here but having said that, I must admit that the movie is certainly watchable though not too exciting. But they do have a stellar cast which more than makes up for the lack of excitement. In New Orleans, a failed day trader at a stock brokerage firm shows up at the office and opens fire on his former colleagues, then kills himself. Among the dead is Jacob Wood. Two years later, with attorney Wendell Rohr, Jacob’s widow Celeste takes Vicksburg Firearms to court on the grounds that the company’s gross negligence led to her husband’s death.

During jury selection, jury consultant Rankin Fitch and his team communicate background information on each of the jurors to lead defense attorney Durwood Cable in the courtroom through electronic surveillance. But one of the jurors, Nick Easter, who is initially rejected is brought back in to the notice of Fitch and his team as he tries to get himself excused from jury duty. Judge Frederick Harkin decides to give Nick a lesson in civic duty and Fitch tells Cable that the judge has now given them no choice, and that he must select Nick as a juror. Nick uses his easy going and congenial manner to win over and influence several of the jurors with one exception. Marlee, who Nick is working with, contacts Fitch and Rohr: she will deliver the verdict to the first bidder.

What happens next is some brilliant planning and scheming by Marlee and Nick as they showcase their power and influence over the rest of the jurors by selecting a foreman and making the jurors do other things. itch orders Nick’s apartment searched, but finds nothing. Marlee retaliates by getting one of Fitch’s jurors bounced. Nick shows the judge surveillance footage of his apartment being searched, and the judge orders the jury sequestered. Fitch then goes after three jurors with blackmail, leading one, Rikki Coleman, to attempt suicide. Rohr loses a key witness due to harassment, and after confronting Fitch, decides that he cannot win the case. He asks his firm’s partners for $10 million. Fitch sends an operative, Janovich, to kidnap Marlee, but she fights him off and raises Fitch’s price to $15 million. On principle, Rohr changes his mind and refuses to pay. Fitch agrees to pay Marlee to be certain of the verdict.

One of Fitch’s men tracks down Nick’s real name and also Marlee’s hometown and meets her mother Nick is really Jeff Kerr, a law school drop-out, and that Marlee’s real name is Gabby Brandt. Gabby’s sister died in a school shooting. The town sued the gun manufacturer and Fitch helped the defense win the case. Doyle concludes that Nick and Marlee’s offer is a set-up, and he calls Fitch, but it is too late. The gun manufacturer is found liable, with the jury awarding $110 million in general damages to Celeste Wood. After the trial, Nick and Marlee confront Fitch with a receipt for the $15 million bribe and demand that he retire. They inform him that the $15 million will benefit the shooting victims in Gardner.

Though the plot is brilliant and the cast is very good, the shorter time for a movie makes the rather entertaining story from the book a little wasted in the movie. This happens quite a lot. I will give the movie a solid 7 outta 10!

Maryam From My Childhood

Nostalgic musings and thoughts meandering to my teenage years and all the things I have done and been part of. And also the feelings I had around those times. I recently posted about my very first crush for a girl, two years my senior. Well let me tell you about this girl who had a sort of crush on me and who I also kinda liked.

She was in the 7th grade when I was in the 9th grade. Her name was Maryam and she was from a Muslim family. Her parents were ultra strict with her but not with regards to religion or religious upbringing. Infact, in hindsight, her family must seem quite modern to most now. They were very strict with her studies and things like that. So they had no television and no games and no radio! This is the 1990! Her family were well off enough to afford a couple of tvs and a few radios and walkman but she and her younger sister were forbidden to have them at home.

Nothing to interfere with the wholehearted & steadfast approach to gaining the best marks in school (and I suppose college after that). If she didn’t finish 1st or 2nd in the monthly tests that we had in school, you could be sure that she would be on leave the next day. Why? Because her parents would beat her with a cane and she would fall sick and cry a lot.

Stay tuned for part 2!

New Broadband Plan Change!

I have changed my broadband plan once again. That is the second time in less than 3 months and I love the fact that we are getting better plans. So they have a few more unlimited plans and I picked the middle one – 10mbps unlimited at Rs.799. My current plan is 10mbps for 100GB and then 2mbps unlimited at Rs.999 plus taxes! Better speed fulltime for less money – that’s great. And until this year I was at 2mbps unlimited for Rs.999 – so overall I am happy with the plan changes.

However, I am still not convinced with the ISP as I am not that happy with Asianet’s customer care services or their reliability in the last few weeks what with frequent outages, they assure me that it was mainly due to issues outside their normal control. Like, a truck hitting the post which houses their equipment or a large vehicle cutting the cable as they try to pass an area that they are not supposed to.

Ok, I can buy that but when it happens way too many times it starts to get on your nerves. Especially when their customer care call center agents, baring maybe 10% of them, can’t seem to answer the call properly and act as if they are totally outsourced and hence it isn’t their problem and they will inform whoever needs to know about it and are in a hurry to keep your call. Oh and don’t get me started on their replies to your emails – apparently they do not read them.

Arsenal 0 Manchester City 3

Pep Guardiola secured his first trophy as Manchester City manager as they overpowered Arsenal to win the Carabao Cup in convincing fashion at Wembley. City responded to Monday’s shock FA Cup fifth-round defeat by League One Wigan Athletic in style as they swept aside Arsenal and now turn their attention to clinching the Premier League and continuing their Champions League campaign. Sergio Aguero gave City an 18th-minute lead when he took full advantage of Arsenal defender Shkodran Mustafi’s feeble challenge to latch on to keeper Claudio Bravo’s goal-kick and loft a cool finish over David Ospina. Arsenal were toothless apart from one early opening when Kyle Walker stopped Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang in the six-yard area and the contest was effectively over when man-of-the-match Vincent Kompany swept in Ilkay Gundogan’s cross-shot just before the hour.

David Silva put the final flourish on City and Guardiola’s day with a powerful shot past Ospina before City closed out the most routine of victories. There was one contentious note which may draw further attention from the Football Association as Guardiola wore his trademark yellow ribbon, which he displays in supported of imprisoned politicians in his native Catalonia, despite facing a charge from English football’s governing body for “wearing a political message”. If one moment summed up Arsenal’s performance, it was the dismal manner in which Mustafi was left appealing limply for a foul after failing to deal with a routine long goal-kick from Bravo, a light-as-a-feather touch from Aguero paving the way for him to beat the onrushing Ospina.

Arsenal, quite simply, were overpowered with no answer to City’s quality once a lacklustre first 45 minutes gave way to a second half in which Guardiola’s side camped out in Gunners territory. Lightweight, loose in possession and defensively weak, Arsenal were no match for City. When the final whistle blew, the portion of Wembley where Arsenal’s fans were housed was virtually deserted, many taking Silva’s third goal as the signal to head for the exits and beat the rush home. Few could blame them as this was a painful experience. This was a chastening afternoon for Wenger as another trophy hope was ended – faced with the cold, hard reality that Arsenal look light years behind this burgeoning, developing Manchester City.

ChicKing India VS KFC India

So, off the bat let me tell you that this is a comparison or atleast this post is only about the Indian versions of both these franchises. KFC is an American giant which has a global franchise and reach while Chicking is an Indian owned, Dubai based company that has outlets in India and the UAE but no where else that I know off. They also outgun KFC in the number of outlets in Kochi & Kerala overall. I think KFC has four franchisees in Kochi while ChicKing may have 5 to 6.

Now what matters is the taste. Head to head having had their flagship style batter fried chicken buckets in the last 2 weeks – Chicking two weekends ago and KFC last weekend – I must say that taste wise and even option wise, Chicking seems to be the outright winner. Along with the various options for buckets, they also give you buns, coleslaw, garlic sauce dips and buns. KFC will give you buns & French fries but neither of the other two. Both will give you packets of ketchup. I just feel like as a meal, KFC have to start getting you sauces and coleslaw to make it a real meal especially for family size buckets.

And taste wise Chicking seems to have the edge too. KFC has a bit of a metallic taste in their meat; not too pronounced but just there. Chicking’s chicken meat feels more juicy and fresher compared to KFC. I think they are clear winners!

RIP Sridevi Kapoor

Veteran actress Sridevi died in Dubai on Saturday after a cardiac arrest. She was 54. Popularly hailed as the first female superstar of Hindi cinema, the actor was in Dubai with her husband Boney Kapoor and younger daughter Khushi to attend nephew and actor Mohit Marwah’s wedding. The actor had married film producer Boney Kapoor with whom she had two daughters. Sridevi, who made her acting debut at the age of four, had many big hits like “Chandni” and was especially noted for her impeccable timing as a comedienne.

She took a 15-year-long break from movies in 1997, a year after her marriage. She returned in 2012’s “English Vinglish”. Sridevi stunned fans with her performance as a villainous queen in “Puli”, which also marked her comeback to Tamil cinema after a gap of more than two decades.

Sridevi started her career as a child artist in M.A. Thirumugham’s devotional Thunaivan at the age of four, and continued to act as a child artist in Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam and Kannada films. She made her Bollywood debut as a child artist in the hit Julie (1975) and played her first adult role at age 13 with the Tamil film Moondru Mudichu (1976). Subsequently, Sridevi established herself as one of the leading actresses of Tamil and Telugu cinema, with roles such as 16 Vayathinile (1977), Sigappu Rojakkal (1978 ), Varumayin Niram Sivappu (1980 ) Meendum Kokila (1981), Premabhishekam (1981), Moondram Pirai (1982), Aakhari Poratam (1988 ), Jagadeka Veerudu Atiloka Sundari (1990) and Kshana Kshanam (1991).

In Bollywood, she made her debut as a lead actress in Solva Sawan (1978 ) and gained wide public attention with the movie Himmatwala (1983). She appeared in a string of commercially successful movies such as Mawaali (1983), Tohfa (1984), Naya Kadam (1984), Maqsad (1984), Masterji (1985), Nazrana (1987), Mr. India (1987), Waqt Ki Awaz (1988 ) and Chandni (1989). She also received critical acclaim for commercially successful movies such as Sadma (1983), Nagina (1986), ChaalBaaz (1989), Lamhe (1991), Khuda Gawah (1992), Gumrah (1993), Laadla (1994) and Judaai (1997). Sridevi has won five Filmfare Awards and has been nominated ten times.

Weird Little Afternoon Dream

I had this weird but vivid dream this afternoon. Yes, in the afternoon! I was watching a movie and was falling asleep as I have been ill since late Wednesday night and so took an almost 2 hour nap. Plus it is hot as well. So in this dream, I was traveling in a van driven by my cousin and I was in the passenger seat. There were two other cousins in the back seat. I was sleepy and loopy and almost falling unconscious. We were headed to a wedding in town.

As we neared the wedding hall, I realized that I was shirtless and my dhoti was untied and almost falling out of my seat. I tried in van to tie it back my hands just couldn’t get the co-ordination needed for it. We reached the hall and there were so many people there outside. Yet as the door opened, magically a white shirt appeared on my back and I managed to do the buttons on. I also magically had black pants on under my dhoti and I grabbed the ends of the dhoti to cover it from falling down. I staggered my way to a seat and sat there for a while, holding my head in my hands. My cousins called me as they were eating lunch and I sat with them but couldn’t even manage to look at the food.

I went on inside the hall and found a bathroom. I found a stall and closed the door as I felt like pooping and puking at the same time and my head was woozy. I lowered my pants and my underwear to do my business but still managed to get dirty as I puked at the same time. I  managed to wash it off and now had to wear the wet pants under my dhoti and walk around. I went to a kitchen and met two of my aunts who wanted to give me lemonade to make me feel me better but I walked away still feeling the effects and wanting to get home and to sleep. I managed to get to a car and my grandmother’s sister – who in real life has never driven ever – drove me half way to my home!

She stopped on the way to get me some medicine but it did not clear my wooziness and I was barely able to walk straights. Soon the rest of my family caught up with us and I walked back into the van and they took me to a hospital. Turns out I had a tumor in my brain and that was what was causing my wooziness and lack of coordination. The doctors started talking about what we could do when I woke up from my sleep! Weird, huh?

Arsenal 1 Osterunds FK 2

Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger said his side were complacent as they survived a huge scare against Swedish minnows Ostersunds FK to claim a place in the last 16 of the Europa League. The Gunners won the first leg 3-0 but one of football’s great shocks looked possible at half-time after the visitors struck two goals in 70 seconds. Graham Potter’s side, who have risen from Sweden’s fourth tier since 2010, were on top in the first half and led 2-0 thanks to Calum Chambers’ own goal – deflecting in Hosam Aiesh’s shot – and Ken Sema’s clinical strike. But the Gunners – who named a reasonably strong side only three days before their Carabao Cup final with Manchester City – improved slightly after the break and Sead Kolasinac finished from Hector Bellerin’s cross to relieve the sense of dread inside Emirates Stadium.

“We were not at the races in the first half,” said Wenger, who saw his side booed off at half-time and full-time. “I think in the second half it was much better and we should have scored a few goals. “In the first half we were in trouble and in danger because we were complacent, not focused and were open every time we lost the ball. We had no ideas with the ball and that’s why we were in trouble. Arsenal, who have never won the Uefa Cup or Europa League, will discover their last-16 opponents at 12:00 GMT on Friday. Ostersund are only the second team to win a game at the Emirates in the Gunners’ last 28 matches – a run dating back to March 2017. Chambers was arguably at fault for both strikes. For the first, he turned home Aiesh’s shot and for the second he was beaten to the ball by Sema and then turned away from the winger’s superb finish.

Things got better in the second half, although had they got worse this would probably have gone down as Wenger’s lowest point as Arsenal boss. Granit Xhaka replaced young midfielder Ainsley Maitland-Niles at the break and the Gunners looked reasonably comfortable once Kolasinac took advantage of Ronald Mukiibi’s air-kick from Bellerin’s cross to lash home. Danny Welbeck had four chances to score, but he headed two straight at Aly Keita, chipped the other to the goalkeeper and shot straight at him again in the last minute.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Kingsman: The Golden Circle is a 2017 spy comedy film produced and directed by Matthew Vaughn and written by Vaughn and Jane Goldman. It is a sequel to Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014) which is based on the comic book series Kingsman, created by Dave Gibbons and Mark Millar. The film features Colin Firth, Taron Egerton, Mark Strong, Edward Holcroft, Hanna Alström, and Sophie Cookson reprising their roles from the first film with Julianne Moore, Halle Berry, Pedro Pascal, Elton John, Channing Tatum, and Jeff Bridges joining the cast. The plot follows the members of Kingsman needing to team up with their American counterpart, Statesman, after the world is held hostage by Poppy Adams and her drug cartel, “The Golden Circle”.

The movie starts off with Eggsy Unwin, who has officially joined Kingsman, taken his late mentor Harry Hart’s title of Galahad, and begun a relationship with Tilde, Crown Princess of Sweden. On his way home from work he is ambushed by Charlie Hesketh, a former Kingsman trainee who lost his arm and vocal cords during the Valentine incident, replacing them with cybernetics. Eggsy evades Charlie and his henchmen in a car chase across London, but Charlie’s severed cybernetic arm hacks into the Kingsman servers through the computer system of Eggsy’s car. While Eggsy has a birthday dinner with his friends and Tilde, Charlie passes on the information gained to Poppy Adams, the leader of the world’s largest drug cartel, the Golden Circle. Poppy uses the information to launch a volley of missiles that destroy the Kingsman headquarters and wipe out all of the agents in Britain, aside from Eggsy and Merlin, Kingsman’s tech support.

Eggsy and Merlin now the only Kingsman staff left alive drink their sorrows but discover that they have a connection to Statesman, an American private intelligence service posing as a Bourbon whiskey distillery in Kentucky.  There, they discover that Harry survived his shooting thanks to Statesman technology, but is suffering from amnesia. They also learn about the Golden Circle from Statesman head Champagne, and the two agencies agree to work together to bring it down. Statesman agent Tequila later develops a blue rash and shows signs of mania, and is replaced by another agent, Whiskey, as Eggsy’s partner. Eggsy plants a tracking device on Charlie’s ex-girlfriend Clara Von Gluckfberg during a sexual encounter at Glastonbury Festival, but his revelation of the mission to Princess Tilde strains their relationship.

Eggsy manages to get Harry out his amnesia by jogging his memory, by threatening to shoot a Cairn Terrier puppy that resembles Harry’s late dog, shortly before Poppy broadcasts a message telling the world about a toxin she has added to all her drugs, which causes users to develop symptoms like Tequila’s before progressing to paralysis, and ultimately, death. She offers the antidote to the world if the President of the United States ends his country’s War on drugs and grants her cartel immunity from prosecution. The President decides to have everyone affected quarantined, intending to let them all die in order to put Poppy out of business. Eggsy, Harry, and Whiskey track Clara to the Golden Circle’s antidote factory in Italy but it is broken by Whiskey while they are ambushed. Harry suspects Whiskey and shoots him dead but Eggsy , believing Harry to be delusional as a result of his recovery, saves him with the same technology that Statesman used to save Harry.

Prince Tilde calls Harry and she too is affected by the blue rash due to taking drugs upset about her relationship. Eggsy, Harry, and Merlin discover the location of Poppy’s hideout, “Poppy Land”, in Cambodia and fly there to steal the laptop which can deploy the drones carrying the antidote. Upon their arrival at Poppy Land, Eggsy steps on a land mine, but Merlin sacrifices himself to save him and Harry. The duo beat out Charlie, Poppy’s two robot dogs and a bunch of her man before inject Poppy with a concentrated dose of her toxin and heroin. Poppy gives them the laptop password in exchange for the antidote, but dies of an overdose from the heroin. Whiskey interrupts them before they can deploy the drones, revealing that he wants all drug users to die after his pregnant wife was killed in a robbery committed by two methamphetamine users.

Eggsy and Harry fight and kill Whiskey, then deploy the drones to release the antidote and save the affected victims throughout the world. In the aftermath, the President is impeached for conspiring to commit genocide on the drug victims, and Statesman purchases a distillery in Scotland to help rebuild Kingsman. Statesman tech support specialist Ginger Ale is appointed to the position of Whiskey, Eggsy marries Princess Tilde, and Tequila joins Kingsman, which acquires a new tailor shop in London.

Fun but not as good as the first one but just barely gets an above average grade. I’d say it’s good enough for an afternoon watch. 7 outta 10!

Might Stay In This Weekend

Man, I am tired. I worked Monday 10:30pm to 6:30 am – I had to leave the office at that time since I had to come in by 8:30 pm for a session. So Tuesday that’s the shift that I worked and yesterday I worked a 7:30 pm to 4:30 am shift. This morning I reached home by 5:10 am and then ate a quick breakfast that I had packed from the office cafeteria and slept by 6:15 am.

Woke up at 1:30 pm feeling tired and exhausted and all that stuff. Post a late lunch I watched a movie while lying on my bed feeling still half like a zombie. And I still have two more work days to go for this week. Oh man, at this rate I guess that I will be as dead as a zombie by early Saturday morning. Still 2 days to go to the weekend.

I guess I will stay in this weekend if this is how I feel. I had planned to go and buy some beers from the self service Bevco in Gandhinagar and then come home quickly on Saturday evening and then order in some food for the folks and me. I might still do that but right now, even going to shower and shave seems like a big task.

Gibson Guitars On The Verge Of Bankruptcy

It’s a sign of the times or atleast musical times. Iconic guitar company Gibson , whose Les Paul and SG instruments have been played by generations of musicians, including stars such as Slash, Bob Marley, Angus Young and Carlos Santana, was founded more than 100 years ago in Michigan are reportedly on the verge of filing for bankruptcy. CEO Henry Juszkiewicz is thought to be in a race against time to decide whether to exchange the company’s debt, look to try and pay it off using his equity or try to declare the company bankrupt.

Gibson’s Chief Financial Officer Bill Lawrence recently left the firm just six months before $375 million of senior secured notes were due to mature, according to a report by the Nashville Post earlier this month. He had been working for the company for little over a year before departing. Gibson, which has annual revenues of more than $1 billion, has another $145 million in bank loans that will be due immediately if those senior secured notes are not refinanced by mid-July, the report said. The U.S.-based company has hired investment bank Jeffries to help with its current financial situation.

On Thursday, Gibson issued a statement that said an ongoing streamlining strategy would soon help it record the “best financial results the company has seen in its history within the next year.” It also said the firm would have the ability to pay back the company’s debt in whole within seven years.

Food Review #215

Burger Hut – the cheap option for foodies who want a quick, no frills & simple burger. I had a choco shake (cheapest at Rs.70 and large too) with medium french fries. Excellent shake and for that price it is awesome. If only they stopped adding ketchup to the burgers!!

Internet Outage Again!

Well, I’ve had another long outage in terms of internet at home this afternoon. With me getting home by 6:30 am and sleeping till 2 pm not having internet till just a couple of minutes ago is just not done. My current ISP provider, Asianet Broadband, though having a few good plans is having a lot of issues lately with providing me service. I keep having to call them very frequently and raising complaints.

Today what happened was, according to the technician who I just spoke to, a vehicle (most probably a stupid truck that delivers to one of the businesses nearby or the construction crew vehicles, hit the post that has the Asianet device that gets me internet to my apartment and thereby the cable got broken. This happens atleast once every 3 months. Added to frequent little outages that last a few hours and a server going down in the area every month or so, it has started to really bug me.

So I am happy with the plans and speeds but to be honest it’s not that great anymore. Plus their customer support sucks – most of the outsourced associates have no clue as to what to tell you and they even go out of their way to let you know (not outright but it’s the way that they say it) that they are outsourced and they will let the “OFFICE” know about it. I dunno but I may have to look out for another ISP.

Is Valentine’s Day Special?

Valentine’s Day. Is it a big deal in your world?

I meant to blog this prompt on the 14th or perhaps a or two day before it but I guess it skipped my mind. Valentine’s Day is a good day to celebrate your love for someone and I have no issues with it. In fact I support it wholeheartedly. I am not one of those morons who keep saying that Valentine’s day is a made up holiday or event – so is every other day including you holy days! There is no need to get all high and mighty with this stupid claim. I agree that Hallmark and other such companies capitalize on the sentiments of this day but then so do they and others on other events or holidays or celebrations. So don’t just get your knickers in a twist on this one day because it has no religious twist added to it or no one died or sacrificed themselves on the day for it’s origins.

It’s a day for you to celebrate the love and relationship you have with your loved one. Spend it on a nice evening meal with whatever – music, candles, romantic setting, quick getaway, hotel room booking, expensive meals – that will please the one you want to show your love & appreciation for. Your husband or your wife or significant other. Show them that today is just a special way of showing how much you appreciate them being there for you. And that should be great. Do not feel compelled to do it only on this day because of international pressure. But do it because you want to do it.

I guess anyday can be made special. So you know what – throw your lover offguard by doing something similar on a random given day? That makes it even more special.

Prompt is from 28 Days of Writing Prompts at The SitsGirls

Shopping For Shirts

Well it’s was long overdue. I finally went to Men’s Studio in Seemati and bought two shirts for myself. I am down to just a handful of shirts and one of the ones I like as it is very comfortable to wear tore when I caught a part of it on a sharp edge of a metal thing sticking out of a staircase at work. It’s not a big hole but I notices rips around the collar and well I needed to buy new shirts anyway. I always only keep 7-8 shirts with me which is crazy I know but being a big fat guy means less choice in the ready made shirt department.

Anyways, I always leave buying new clothes till the last moment and so I just needed to go and buy a couple of shirts. I had a coffee and a sandwich for a late breakfast and then headed to Men’s Studio and checked out some shirts. I selected the only three that I liked outta the small selection for my size but there was a plain blue one which once I wore it looked rather tacky. So I selected these two and paid for them and then headed back home.

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I was in the clothing store for just 15 minutes. 15 minutes to select three shirts, try them on and then pay for them and leave! Hahaha try that one out ladies! Seriously I have spent hours waiting for my sister and girl cousins while they shopping for clothes. Watch a 3 hour movie, eat lunch and get a few beers in that time.