Humid & Hot

I hear all this talk about snow melting and the onset spring in my timeline and on Youtube because of my friends from the West. Meanwhile over here, it’s March and it’s fucking hot. It is humid and sweaty and unless you are in an air-conditioned environment you will suffer. It is so humid right now that immediately after you take a shower and come out after wiping yourself down with a towel, you will start to sweat.

It’s 3:47 pm and 33 degrees Celsius and around 91 degree Fahrenheit. I just went to the bathroom a few minutes ago to wash my hands with soap before I went to make some coffee. The water from the tap was boiling hot. I will take a shower in about 45 minutes and I am not looking forward to the heat in the shower. No wonder I feel like drinking a few cold milkshakes in a day though I don’t actually do that.

I would like to look at getting an ac in my bedroom – the outlet is there and I only just need to buy the unit but when I think of the electricity bills I am hesitant. I guess I will sweat it out.

Broadband Problems Fixed?

Well it looks like the problem is solved. Finally, after well over 4 days and many,many phone calls and complaints and emails later, Asianet had determined that the problem was —- drum roll please —– the new modem that they had given me and come to install just over a week ago!

Yes, by my count I have called them over 20+ times during the past 30 days or so. I have emailed them 5 to 6 times. I have raised complaints and I have made them escalate and finally it was so simple they could have done this days ago. There must have been nothing wrong with my old modem but they determined that the several outages I have been facing recently was due to a modem fault. And so they gave me a new one – which was faulty! They came and changed the charger but that was not it.

So today a guy came in, the same guy who gave me the previous replacement, and had a new one installed and changed the charger too. It’s been working fine since 1:20 pm. We’ll see how this goes. I had thought of going over on Friday and cancelling my connection and getting one from Airtel. Asianet does have the best plans though and they are economical. But if they keep this up I will have to cancel.

Laugh At Court : Actual Court Case Q&A

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid

_________________________________________

And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Dearly Departed

So a couple of weeks ago I wrote about this girl from my school, Maryam, 2 years younger than me. I would like to share another incident from that time. During my 9th grade (or 9th standard as we call it) I was selected to be in a play for the school’s annual day celebrations. The play was called Dearly Departed about a grandfather whose two granddaughters think he has passed away (he is in reality only just in a deep sleep) and they and their husbands start fighting over his belongings and property. There is also a small girl in the character list, daughter of of the granddaughters.

So I was to play the role of the grandfather and hence for most of the play I was in the sidelines, which suited me fine. I am only in for the last 1/3rd of the play when I finally wake up from my sleep and the little girl sees this and goes to tell her mother, father, aunt and uncle but they don’t pay attention to her or see him until he comes down the stairs. I see the family fighting over my stuff and blast them for it. I then go on to announce that I have met an elderly widow who I have fallen in love with and I am getting married to her and my estate will be going to her in case I die first.

The play is mostly funny but there is a scene in which one of the grandaughters, played by Maryam is supposed to check on me while I speak and hold my wrist, to check my pulse. During rehearsals it was supposed to be just a metaphoric holding of my wrist but she came and actually held my hand and I yelled out in jest “Let go of my hand woman!” to which everyone else in the play including the teachers started laughing but Maryam was embarrassed and ran away crying. My teachers admonished me (though not sternly as they were still laughing) and made me go and apologize and bring her back.

NO BROADBAND INTERNET FOR THREE DAYS – ASIANET

My internet connection has been down for three days! It went down early Friday morning – I reached home at 2am and wanted to stream a football match but the connection went down and so I called and complained. This is day THREE and I still don’t have a solution. Congratulations Asianet Broadband, this is a new low performance in customer care for you.

This is despite two technicians coming to my apartment and who told me that the problem was fixed. The internet then worked for 45 mins after they left and then went dead again. When I asked them what was the issue for me not getting internet since early Friday morning, they told me that after a fibre cut in the area they were upgrading the system here which is why I had no connectivity. So this is a known problem and yet no one in Asianet bothered to inform me about this!

Also wonderful fixing of the solution – they come here, it works for 45 mins and then it goes down again. Terrible service. 3 whole days and you STILL have no solution to the problem. I have called up one of the technicians and informed them that it is still down. You have no answer. I just spoke to someone at your call center and he told me that as it is a Sunday they have less technicians which is why there is a delay in solving my problem. When I reminded him that I raised the complaint on Friday and Friday and Saturday this should not have been a problem, he had no answer. “Sir tomorrow morning you issue with me solved – for certain”. He has no clue as to what is going on!

What are you planning to do about my problem? No internet service for 3 days other than a bit here and there (in total maybe 3 hours). THREE DAYS AND YOU CANNOT SOLVE THE PROBLEM!! Fibre Cut or System upgrade, I don’t know what is the real issue. I only hear excuses. Even before these three days I was having regular outages for over a month (PLEASE CHECK MY CALL HISTORY TO YOUR CUSTOMER CARE CENTER and the COMPLAINT HISTORY) – is this all a fibre cut and gross incompetence on your technicians part?

The Client

The Client is a 1994 American legal thriller film directed by Joel Schumacher, and starring Susan Sarandon, Tommy Lee Jones and the late actor Brad Renfro in his movie debut as well as a supporting cast of Mary Louise Parker, Anthony LaPaglia, JT Walsh, Anthony Heald, Kim Coates, Bradley Whitford & William H Macy with Dan Castellaenetta. It is based on the novel of the same name by John Grisham. The film was released in the United States on July 20, 1994.

Eleven-year-old Mark Sway and his little brother, Ricky, are smoking cigarettes in the woods near their home when they encounter Mob lawyer Jerome Clifford who is attempting to commit suicide. Clifford tells Mark that he is about to kill himself to avoid being murdered by Barry “The Blade” Muldano, the nephew of notorious mob kingpin Johnny Sulari. Ricky becomes catatonic after witnessing the suicide and is hospitalized. Authorities‚Äďand the Mob‚Äďrealize that Clifford may have told Mark where a Louisiana senator who was murdered by Muldano is buried. As the cops, FBI, a prosecution team lead by “Reverend” Roy Foltrigg and the mob would like to know what the boy knows, Mark goes and seeks a lawyer and finds child care specialist Reggie Love.

Reggie, a divorcee and recovering alcoholic agrees to represent him even though he has no money to pay her. She wires him to entrap Roy and his legal team who try to question the boy without a guardian present. ¬†In the meantime, it is revealed that Sulari never authorized Muldano to kill the senator and wants Muldano to uncover how much the boys know. Muldano is also ordered to move the body, but currently he is unable to because it is buried in Clifford’s boathouse, and police are still on the property investigating his suicide. Foltrigg continues to use legal means to get Mark to reveal where the body is hidden, while Sulari orders Muldano to kill the children and Reggie. He also orders the body to be moved once the investigation at Clifford’s home is concluded. Mark is threatened in a hospital elevator by a member of the Mafia, and is unable to talk to Foltrigg.

The boy escapes from the clutches of the mob’s killer sent to silence him and meets up with Reggie and the two ¬†go to New Orleans to confirm that the body is on Clifford’s property. Reggie intends to use this information to broker a deal with Foltrigg to get Ricky specialized medical care and place the family in the witness protection program. Reggie and Mark arrive at Clifford’s house the same night as Muldano and his accomplices. They are digging up the body, but a melee follows when Mark and Reggie are discovered. Muldano and the others flee after Reggie trips the neighbors’ alarm. Foltrigg agrees to Reggie’s demands in exchange for information about the body’s location. Before the Sway family leaves to restart their lives under new identities, Mark and Reggie share a heartfelt goodbye.

Although not explicitly stated, Sulari has had enough of Muldano and intends to have his nephew killed. With the body recovered, Foltrigg is a lock-in for the media headlines he craves, and mentions that he intends to run for governor. Foltrigg, who had plans all along to use the high profile case to boost his election campaign for governor, however shows his softer side as he offers Reggie a job in his team, impressed by what she has shown. She smiles but refuses and leaves with her assistant.

A very entertaining movie with some awesome performances, especially Sarandon, Jones and the then 11 year old Brad. Renfro would go on to act in more movies that showcased his talent and did well until the trappings of fame caught up with him and he faded in a haze of alcohol and drugs. He died from a heroin overdose at the age of 25. The movie is a must watch. 8.5 outta 10!

Battling Sleep & Tiredness With Black Gold

If I had to choose between drinking either of only beer or coffee for the rest of my life I guess I would have to reluctantly pick coffee. You can’t drink beer in the mornings and besides, Captain Janeway beat the Borg with it. Good morning!

Nothing can beat the taste of a nice big mug of strong coffee just after you wake up. I like my coffee strong, with or without milk and sweet. I need the sweetness but I also like a bite of coffee bitterness so I make it strong.

Mornings like today are perfect examples : I woke up early, by 5 am, as I had fallen asleep quite early for me. By 11:30 pm or so my eyelids were getting droopy so I switched off the lights and went to sleep. The two beers I had last night were the culprit. Anyways I woke up by 5 am as it was kinda hot.

I still lay in bed in the dark and checked my phone. I went online to Facebook and also played a few games but then tried to go back to sleep. Still groggy at 7 am I finally gave up and woke up. I brushed my teeth and washed my face and went to make my first cup of coffee for the day. Ah! Much better.

No Internet Again

It’s been two days since I had internet at home. Well it came for an hour here and there. Early Friday morning at around 2 am as I am trying to watch football on live streaming the broadband goes down. After 10 minutes I call up Asianet for what is like the 30th time this year to complain and tell them to fix it. All of Friday morning and afternoon I don’t have internet and call them again.

It comes back on sometime at night I guess but I am at work and only see it at 4:30 am this morning after I reach home. This morning after I have slept it’s on for an hour but goes out again. I called them again and asked them what is going on. I spoke to a supervisor and ask her why the problem can’t be fixed and told her if the internet isn’t fixed by time that I would cancel. She said that the issue would be escalated.

I waited till 5pm and checked and see that it’s working but only for a few minutes so I call them again as they closed my complaint as HAVING BEEN FIXED! What the fuck?!! I told the customer care representative to reopen the complaint and said the same thing. I will cancel if they don’t fix it by Sunday morning. And I mean it. I have called Airtel and if Asianet cannot care enough to fix the problem for me, I am changing ISPs.

Sniff, Sniff

Since yesterday I have had this terrible cold. I know I catch cold easily and I had a bad cough, cold and breathing issues due to a slight phlegm infection three weeks or so ago. This week dad is ill and has a bad bout with the flu and now both mum and I are feeling ill.

But I do not have the luxury of taking a leave for today as I have a presentation today at 5:30 pm and I need to be there by 4:30 pm atleast to prepare and ensure that everything is in order.

I hope to come home early and get straight to bed but it will be atleast 2 am when that happens. Ah shucks, I hope it goes away by Friday otherwise my weekend will be shot!

RIP Stephen Hawking

World renowned physicist Stephen Hawking has died at the age of 76. He died peacefully at his home in Cambridge in the early hours of Wednesday, his family said. The British scientist was famed for his work with black holes and relativity, and wrote several popular science books including A Brief History of Time. At the age of 22 Prof Hawking was given only a few years to live after being diagnosed with a rare form of motor neurone disease.

The illness left him in a wheelchair and largely unable to speak except through a voice synthesiser. In a statement his children, Lucy, Robert and Tim, said: “We are deeply saddened that our beloved father passed away today. Prof Hawking was the first to set out a theory of cosmology as a union of relativity and quantum mechanics. He also discovered that black holes leak energy and fade to nothing – a phenomenon that would later become known as Hawking radiation.

Through his work with mathematician Sir Roger Penrose he demonstrated that¬†Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity¬†implies space and time would have a beginning in the Big Bang and an end in black holes. The scientist gained popularity outside the academic world and appeared in several TV shows including The Simpsons, Red Dwarf and The Big Bang Theory. He was portrayed in both TV and film – recently by Oscar winner Eddie Redmayne in The Theory of Everything, which charted his rise to fame and relationship with his first wife, Jane.

Do You Speak Espanol?

A black guy and a white guy are driving in their car, having and arguement. “Jesus was a white man,” says the white guy. “No, Jesus was a black man,” says the black guy. “He was white!” says the white guy. “No, He was black!” says the black guy. Their arguement gets so heated that the driver stops paying attention, runs a red light, and BAM!!!… he gets run over by a truck.

The next thing the boys know, they’re standing at The Pearly Gates. St. Peter appears before them and¬†welcomes them in, saying, “Are you ready to meet the Lord Jesus?” They respond in the affirmative, and St. Peter says, “Wait here, I’ll go get Him.” One guy then whispers to the other, “I guess we’re going to find who’s right, huh?”

Instantly a cloud of smoke appears before them, followed by blinding light and a crescendo of trumpets. Their eyes blinded by the light and the smoke, they can only see the outline of the Lord Jesus in the shadows. He appears before them, extends His arms and says……….. “¬°Buenos D√≠as, Amigos!”

Troy Deeney, Teeny Weeny

The chance of scoring a penalty fell to Watford captain Troy Deeney after Pereyra had been fouled in the penalty area by a combination of Ainsley Maitland-Niles and Alex Iwobi. However, Deeney, much to the delight of the home fans, had the resulting spot-kick saved by Cech.

After¬†Watford’s 2-1 win over Arsenal at Vicarage Road in October,¬†Deeney criticised the Gunners’ players and their character. After that match, he said: “There’s a reason they lost. It’s having a bit of cojones. Whenever I play against Arsenal, I’ll go up and think ‘let me whack the first one and see who wants it’. “They all just backed off. For me as a player, I just think ‘happy days’.” But Deeney, who had scored three times in his past four appearances, had a day to forget on Sunday as his penalty was too close to Cech in the middle of the goal, and the Czech saved it.

Where are your cojones Deeney? Or shall we just called you Troy Deeney, Teeney Weeney! You piece of shit, karma just came and bit you in the ass.

Arsenal 3 Watford 0

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger said his team had to “get the fans back on our side again” after ending a run of three successive Premier League defeats with a fine win over Watford. Despite an official attendance of 59,131, there were empty seats all around the Emirates with a number of season-ticket holders seemingly put off by the Gunners’ disappointing league season. Goals from Shkodran Mustafi, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and Henrikh Mkhitaryan gave Wenger’s side their first league win since beating Everton 5-1 on 3 February. Watford, beaten for only the second time in six matches, saw Troy Deeney’s penalty saved by Petr Cech, who registered the 200th Premier League clean sheet of his career to become the first keeper to reach that mark.

The win leaves the Gunners sixth, 10 points behind fourth-placed Tottenham who are in the final Champions League spot. However, Arsenal could still qualify for next season’s Champions League if they win the Europa League, and that competition affected Arsene Wenger’s team selection on Sunday. With Arsenal holding a 2-0 lead against AC Milan and playing the second leg of their last-16 tie at home on Thursday, Wenger took a risk by making six changes. Aaron Ramsey and Laurent Koscielny were rested, with Jack Wilshere only on the bench, but the gamble paid off for Arsenal. Those Arsenal fans who had turned up were almost celebrating after only two minutes when Aubameyang was clean through, but he was denied by a fine save by Orestis Karnezis.

But the Gunners took the lead only six minutes later when Mesut Ozil’s free-kick from the left touchline was powerfully headed in by Mustafi. Aubameyang, Ozil and Granit Xhaka were denied by Karnezis, before Aubameyang made it 2-0, collecting Mkhitaryan’s pass and taking the ball around the Watford keeper. After Deeney’s penalty miss, Mkhitaryan added a third when he shot past Karnezis following Aubameyang’s pass for his first league goal for the Gunners. With the Europa League on Wenger’s mind, the Frenchman was able to take Mkhitaryan off late on for Wilshere, although Mustafi is now a doubt for Thursday’s match after he limped off in the second half.

Arsene Wenger registered his 700th Arsenal win in his 1,222nd match in charge of the Gunners. Arsenal midfielder Mesut Ozil became the fastest player to reach 50 Premier League assists, doing so in just 141 games and breaking the record held by former Manchester United forward Eric Cantona (143 games). Petr Cech made his first Premier League penalty save since February 2011 for Chelsea against Fulham – it was also the 16th he had faced in all competitions for Arsenal and the first one he had saved for the Gunners. Cech registered his 200th Premier League clean sheet, the first goalkeeper to achieve this feat in the competition’s history. Henrikh Mkhitaryan now has the same record this season in nine appearances for Arsenal in all competitions as he did in 22 games for Manchester United (two goals, five assists).

When I Worked In Sales

Have you ever worked in sales? Tell us your best story about that job!

When I started my career in the BPO industry and worked in the call center at Aspin Wall, it was all pure sales. We mostly did cold calling and it was all lower end sales like credit cards and online supermarket credit cards. The credit cards, which I did a lot during my 7 months working there, was mostly of a lower amount and it was usually to people who had been rejected for a higher value credit card.

Therefore it was quite disheartening to get rejections for sales but then it was mostly cold calls. We’d get abused, called racist terms but some were good calls. I used the name Jeff Steven but stopped after a month as twice I ran into funny calls : one women asked “isn’t that a girl’s name?” because she heard Jess and another lady heard it as Cat Stevens. We bought laughed at that one.

I then changed it to Jeremy Stevens which was much better. My favourite sales was when we did sales for Sprint PCS and I called this single mother, African-American, and she kept calling me “sir” and was desperate for three phones (all Nokia) and the plan we offered. I made that sale and was toasted as it was 3 phones in one sale.

Prompt from 31 DAYS OF MARCH WRITING PROMPTS at The SitsGirls