jesus: what do people call the day i was crucified
me: good friday. we call it “good friday”
jesus: what the fuck
Big deal Jesus, so your dad sent you here to suffer & die, that’s what all the rest of us are doing too
COP: jesus how much hav u had to drink
JESUS: (leans out window) (whispers) my blood is wine
COP: ok step outa the car pal
drunk jesus: *swinging baguette wildly* You want a piece of me!?
Me: “Hey you forgot to close the door! Were you born in a barn?”
Me: “Oh, it’s you. Sorry, Jesus.”
Jesus: “I forgive you.”
*knock on door*
“Sir have you found Jesus?”
Uh, no. Goodbye.
*Jesus steps out from behind door with gun*