3 More Sex Jokes

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. “Of course, my son,” said the priest. “Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.” “That’s a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess,” said the priest. “It’s worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors,” continued the old man. “Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly,” said the priest. “Thanks, Father,” said the old man. “That’s a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?” “Of course, my son,” said the priest. The old man asked, “Do I need to tell her that the war is over?”.

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A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.” She replies, “if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 1221.”

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A little boy walks into his parents’ room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, “What were you and Dad doing?” The mother replies, “Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it.” “You’re wasting your time,” said the boy. “Why is that?” asked his mom, puzzled. “Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up.”

What Makes a Great House When Looking To Buy?

Looking for a new house to buy is always an exciting search. You are searching for the home of your dreams, the home that will house many future memories, and may mean a lot to you in the future. So, that is why it is super important to look at the houses and really research about them so you make sure you choose the right house. But, what makes the right house a great house to buy? Here are just some factors;

Location, Location, Location

The location is a given when it comes to buying your next home, or the first one. Does the location fit where you dreamed it would? Is it close to your work? Does it have schools in the area for the children? What is the crime rate? All of these things are the major deciding factors when looking for your new home.

Another thing to think about it connections, and the future. You may move to a neighbourhood with amazing views of mountains and fields and hills. But, there may be some plans in the works in which a major skyscraper could be built, right next to your house and obscuring the view forever. These are the factors and things that people do not consider as much when it comes to their next home. Always check the future of the location. Another example could be that a place may be poorly connected right now, but in a year or two time, a major new train depot and the station will be built connecting to major cities in a matter of minutes. This could one, double or really increase the value of your newly bought home if you were ever to sell again. But also, they would benefit you, so keep these things in mind.

Does it Cater to Your Needs?

This is an obvious one, but make sure it caters to your needs. You do not want to buy a house that doesn’t have a large kitchen when you have a family of four or five. You do not want to buy an apartment and then find that the building doesn’t allow animals or certain pets. These are all things you need to consider, and things that would determine a house a good one or a bad one for you.

Money Matters

In the world, money matters. The bigger the budget, the more options lay on the table for you. In some areas, you can get a house two times bigger than in another location, for half the price. This is why location matters. City houses cost more than out of the city houses and having a bigger budget can really go a long way if you invest it in the right home.

If you are looking for luxury homes, Holowesko Realty could be a good place to go for help. When it comes to buying a home, it is always helpful to have an agent help you all the way, and this is regardless of the budget. They can help you make a better-calculated choice when it comes to choosing the right house. But at the end of the day, the end decision ultimately comes down to you, so make the right one for you!