October 27, 2020 – Awake & Dreaming

“What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? A tearjerker.”
“What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin’ off.”
“What do you call an expert fisherman? A master baiter.”
“What do you call a nanny with breast implants? A faux-pair.”
“What do you call a guy with a small penis? Just-in.”
“Do you like sales? Because clothing is 100% off at my place.”
“I wish you were my big toe. Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house.”
“‘You’re cute’ has U in it, but ‘quickie’ has U and I together.”
“Do you do carpeting? Because I’m looking for a deep shag.”
“Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.”
“How is playing bridge similar to sex? If you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.”
“How is life like a penis? It sometimes get hard when you least expect it.”
“Did you hear about the man who ejaculated without a penis? He came out of nowhere.”
“Why does Santa have such a heavy sack? He only comes once a year.”
“How is a thunderstorm similar to sex? You never know how many inches you will get or how long it will last.”

Why the bloody hell do these 3 day weekends always seem to rush by? They have even started to feel shorter than a regular 2 day weekend! Of all the nerve.

In the blink of an eye, faster than a hurricane in the eye of a storm, 3 days go by faster than a day of the work week. Time flies by when you are having fun or doing nothing. This morning I woke up at 9 am but since I am working a 6:30 pm to 3:30 am shift I felt that it would be good to get some more sleep so I laid back in bed and snoozed for another 2.5 hours.

Morning sleep, when it isn’t noisy or too sunny is a beautiful thing. So I had a smile on my face as I napped till 11:30 when I just had to wake up. Couple of coffees later I am good to go. But I will lie back and watch a movie in the afternoon before 5pm when I go and get a shower and get ready for the work.