3 Religious Jokes To Tickle Your Funny Bone

“I’m lonely,” Adam told God in the Garden of Eden. “I need to have someone around for company.” “Okay,” replied God. “I’ll give you the perfect companion. She is beautiful, intelligent and gracious, she’ll cook and clean for you and never say a cross word.” “Sounds great,” Adam said. “But what’s she going to cost?” “An arm and a leg” answered God. “That’s pretty steep,” replied Adam. “What can I get for a rib?”

Three engineers are arguing about which is better, mechanical engineering, or electrical, or civil — and the mechanical engineer says, “God must’ve been a mechanical engineer — look at the joints in the human body.” And the second says, “No, God must’ve been an electrical engineer — look at the nervous system.” And the third said: “God had to be a civil engineer, cause who else would’ve run a waste disposal pipeline right through a great recreational area?”

A minister died and went to heaven and ahead of him at the Pearly Gate was a guy in sunglasses and a leather jacket and the guy said to St. Peter. “I’m Joe Nestorenko, cabdriver of Las Vegas.” Saint Peter gave him a golden robe and golden staff and then it was the minister’s turn. “I am Elmer Lundberg, pastor of Zion Lutheran for forty five years.” Saint Peter gave him a cotton robe and wooden staff.” “But that man was a taxi driver? and he gets a golden robe? and golden staff?” And St. Peter said, “Up here, we go by results. While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed.”

9 Weird Laws In Singapore

1. ANNOYING OTHERS WITH A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT OR SINGING IN PUBLIC Penalty: Up to 3 months in prison or $1,000 fine. According to Singapore Statutes Online, singing, reciting or uttering any obscene song (especially if they contain swear words) in public is illegal. So better save your vocal cords for your shower!

2. CONNECTING TO SOMEONE ELSE’S WIFI: Penalty: Up to 3 years in prison and/or $10,000 fine. Bloggers, Digital Nomads and Millennials beware: Using another person’s wifi is defined as hacking in Singapore! Surely you can still connect to the wifi at your local coffee shop, just be careful when it comes to unauthorised connections!

3. FEEDING PIGEONS : Penalty: $500. If Disney Classic Mary Poppins was set in Singapore instead of England, iconic musical scenes like “Feed the birds“ would have looked slightly different. While feeding pigeons might not sound like a criminal offence, in Singapore it is and will definitely cost you.

4. SMOKING IN PUBLIC : Penalty: $150 – 1,000 fine. Smoking is banned in public places and vehicles. This law was put in place to ensure a clean and healthy environment for the public . Really the only safe space to smoke is in your own house or in designated smoking rooms.

5. WALKING AROUND YOUR HOUSE NAKED : Penalty: Up to 3 months in prison or $2,000 fine. While smoking and singing at home is fine, being naked is not. Pornography is illegal  – and walking around naked in your house is considered a form of pornography in Singapore because it is a disturbance to your neighbours. So better close the curtains before getting ready for shower.

6. NOT FLUSHING THE TOILET : Penalty: $150-500 fine. A big part of Singapore’s cleanliness comes from its strict rules, for instance, by most certainly being the only place in the world that has specific legislation against not flushing toilets. Officials actually conduct random checks in public toilets to make sure people flush after they go. If caught leaving an ‘unflushed’ toilet, you face a fine.

7. LITTERING : Penalty: From $300 fine to $5,000 and community service. If you are a first time offender who threw small items on the streets, you will be fined $300. However, those convicted of littering three times will not only pay a hefty fine, but also have to clean the streets with a bib on saying “I am a litterer.” This is done to publicly shame the offenders so that they won’t litter again.

8. SELLING CHEWING GUM : Penalty: $100,000 – 2 years in jail. This will always remain one of the most unbelievable laws to most people. The sale of chewing gum is illegal, bringing it into the country is an offence and spitting it is even worse. There has, however, been a softening of this tough law: You are now allowed to chew nicotine or medicinal gum as long as it is sold by a pharmacist or dentist.

9. MAKING NOISE AND DRINKING ALCOHOL FROM 10:30PM TO 7AM : Penalty: Up to $2000 fine. Singapore is all fun and games – until 10:30pm. If you are planning a group gathering, loud dinner or crazy party that involves booze and might last well after 10:30pm, you actually have to get a permit from the government! Still, you can drink inside a liquor-licensed bar or drink in the comfort of your own room.