Q: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won’t claim that god did it.
Q: What do you get if you cross an atheist with a Jehovah’s witness?
A: Someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.
A young teacher explains to her class of third graders that she is a born-again Christian. She asks the class if any of them are born-again Christians too. Not really knowing what it means to be born-again, but wanting to please and impress their teacher, many little hands suddenly shot up into the air.
There’s just one girl who doesn’t raise her hand. So the teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
The girl says, “Because I’m not a Christian.”
The teacher asks, “So what are you then? ”
The girl replies, “I’m an atheist.”
The teacher’s a little perturbed now, her face slightly red.
She asks the girl why she’s an atheist.
The girl says, “It’s just that my family isn’t religious. My Mom’s atheist, and my Dad’s atheist, so I’m atheist.” The teacher is now angry.
“That’s no reason.” she says loudly. “What if your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was a moron. What would you be then?”
“Then,” says the girl, “I’d be a born-again Christian.”