3 More Blasphemous Religious Jokes

A lawyer, A priest and a scout Leader with his troupe are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and the plane begins to go down. Scout Leader “There aren’t enough parachutes, we must give them to the children!”

Lawyer “Fuck the children!”

Priest “Do you think there’s time?”


The mob was gearing up to stone the adulteress when Jesus strides between her and the crowd and stares the mob down. “Let ye who is without sin cast the first stone” he cries, and at this the mob starts to look ashamed and shuffle away.

Then an old woman pushes her way to the front and throws a large rock at the adulteress. At this the crowd goes wild and everyone joins in and starts throwing rocks.

Jesus turns to the old woman and sighs… “fuck, mum, you always have to spoil it.”


So Jesus and Moses are walking through the desert when they come upon the red sea. Moses cracks his knuckles and says, “check this out Jesus i still got it.” He slams his staff on the ground and with plenty of pomp and circumstance the sea parts. Jesus tells Moses, “ya well you aren’t the only one who can still show off.” And begins walking out on the water he gets about halfway out and starts to sink if it weren’t for Moses he would have likely drown. When he gets him back to shore Moses consoles the savior of mankind, “don’t worry about it Jesus last time you tried that stunt you didn’t have holes in your feet.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.