Jun 9 2012
From I Waste So Much Time
Jun 9 2012
I’ve been in love more than once but only twice has it been an actual relationship. In the first case it was a great relationship for over 3.5 years but then dwindled down and slowly died out. Although I still kept in touch with her for almost 2 years (one day we would both think that there was a chance for the relationship to pick up again and another day it would like just two friends talking to each other) hoping that things would get better. I was really young when we started the relationship, she & I were 17 & 16 respectively, and by the time we stopped talking to each other I was 22. While the relationship lasted it was heavily passionate and I thought it would last forever. It didn’t and although it took me a very long time to get over her, I’m actually glad that it didn’t. The other relationship I had was with a woman much older than me and shall always remain anonymous as I would never want to cause for her family.
Now while I was in the second relationship for a much shorter time, we both knew that it wouldn’t last, there was no way for us to remain together officially due to the age difference (she is 13 years older than me) and one more reason which I cannot divulge. Hence going into the relationship was more allowing our urges & feelings to finally be acknowledge, companionship and ofcourse the sexual needs. That doesn’t mean that the feelings were any less; I remember constantly feeling guilty & cursing my bad luck that she was older than me by that many years. Had she been only a couple of years older or my age, I would have moved heaven & hell to be with her forever. She agreed with me that had we been the same age she would have been with me forever.
Post breakups I don’t think that it wasn’t true love. It was but I can only speak for myself and I always give 100% to a relationship. If I have fallen in love, and I did fall in love one more time since then, I give my entire self to the woman. I expect the same back but it need not always be the case. Breakups happen and sometimes they happen for a reason. Sometimes it’s a mutual decision and there could be circumstances beyond your control for them but it doesn’t make it any less real or true. Someday I might find the one for me or I might never find her and end up being alone till the day I die. All I can guarantee is to give the relationship, if one does come along, 100% and give the woman all of me. 100% or none at all is what I believe in.