Arachnophobia

Last night I had one of the biggest shocks of my life. I was sitting at my desk using the laptop at about 10:45 pm and felt something on my left leg. I was wearing a brand new lungi (dhoti) and since it was rather stiff (brand new lungis are always stiff until the first couple of washes) and laying rather heavy against my leg, I thought that’s what it was. Then I moved the cloth away slight and saw something move onto the table. It was a huge spider!

Not just any ordinary spider, a huge mutherfucka of a monster and boy was it ugly & mean looking. Disgusted I pushed my chair away and yelled out. It moved towards the wall and the door. I couldn’t let the bastard escape. I looked around for something to beat it with and found a Rolling Stone magazine from 2009 and picked it up and charged at the spider—–only to leap back as the sonofabitch had leaped at me. I folder the magazine and beat the stupid spider 3 times and killed it, squashed against the floor. Dead, the bastard was dead!

I cleared the carcass of the dead spider & then washed my hands & feet with soap but going to sleep was a big problem. I kept thinking about the spider and whether it had some friends nearby and would I be visited by them soon. I tried watching some tv series to take my mind of the creature but it was of no use. I kept imagining a similar sized spider climbing my bed and crawling under the sheets to get to me. So I tried reading and fell asleep with the lights on.

I knew that I wouldn’t get much rest until the room was thoroughly cleaned and swept, so I had a cleaning lady move the bed aside and clear the entire place and move a cartoon of clothes (perfect hiding place for monsters) off to storage. The spider most probably came from outside the building, through an open window but I wasn’t taking any chances. The room looks much cleaner now anyway and so does the rest of the apartment.

BTW the perfectionist blogger in me was so upset that I couldn’t get a photo of the spider to show it to you on this post. But believe me – it was like it crawled its away from a Discovery channel special on arachnids!

7 thoughts on “Arachnophobia

  1. I have a special jar I catch spiders in and then I release them into the garden. If they are venomous (like the dreaded Australian funnelweb) I give them to my friend who works at the university for his research. I know I am a bit odd but I really don’t mind spiders. Most of them are harmless. However, I understand arachnophobia because both my husband and my son will scream like girls when they see a spider. They also climb on tables. It cracks me up!

  2. Man, do you have a greater tolerance for creepy stuff. Ok, next time I see such a monster, I’m calling you for help.

  3. @LB, apparently Selma can tolerate them and even catches them. I’m not sure about the venom factor but yes I guess some of them are poisonous.

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