I’ve Trained World Leaders

I’ve trained world leaders or now former world leaders, two of whom are dead. That’s right! These people, who controlled nations and millions & millions of people and had so much power, attended my class sessions. On process & product and preprocess. Who are these world leaders?

Clinton, Lenin & Yasar Arafath!

No kidding, all from India. One from Fort Kochi, one of Kalamassery and one from the great district of Malapurram.

Buying Gifts

I almost decided to just stay inside today and lazed around while reading but I had to go to buy a couple of gifts. One for my christmas buddy or secret santa as they call it in my current company. You know, where you select a person at random by picking a name out of a box filled with all employee names and you have to buy that person a gift for Christmas and leading up to that point you have to leave little notes for that person. And I also had to buy two small gifts for the trainees who performed the best and who will graduate and be given their certificates on Monday. When I checked in the office on Saturday afternoon, we had run out of the gifts that we had bought in advance.

So I headed out in the afternoon towards Shenoys and tried to find a gift shop. The H.P petrol bunk just after Music World has an Archies franchise within their facility and it looked like a good place to find some gifts. So in I went but their selection in my budget range was very weak. There were some good things on their shelfs but most were very pricey. I found a gift for my christmas buddy; an African thingy and finally had to settle for some globes in a pyramid as the gifts for the trainees.

But the service over there sucked! They have such morons running the place – the guy at the counter looked like he hadn’t bathed and had his shirt mostly unbuttoned. Another goof was so inept at wrapping the gifts that after 20 minutes I went to enquire “Can I get them this century?” It still took those numbnuts an additional 15 minutes. And they messed the wrapping so badly. They were also responding rudely to a group of teenagers who hadn’t done or said anything wrong. Assholes!!

Sparks On A Wet Road

As the day turned into late evening and the sun had almost set, it started raining. Soon it was quite dark as my working day came to a close and I sent my training batch back to their homes. A few colleagues and I made our way in the rain, across the railway tracks and to the bus stop. The rain ceased and we were talking and laughing while waiting for a bus to take us to our residences. We didn’t see the car actually hit the bike but we rather heard the collision and when I turned I saw the sparks fly as the bike skidded on the road. A guy in a maruti car had hit a fellow who was riding his bike.

We saw the biker stumble a bit and then walk to the side of the road as he tried to avoid being hit by the car. He was ok. The car driver took a look at the surroundings, reversed his car a bit and headed for the turning and tried to make a break for it. He was fleeing the scene of the crime, an illegal hit & run case! And the sparks did really fly as several bystanders chased him and they hit his car windows with umbrellas and a helmet. He almost made it to safety but there were way too many people around and they were able to make him stop. As I got into a bus, I could see the crowd dragging the car driver out of his car. I couldn’t see anything else and can only imagine the thrashing that the wretched sonofabitch must have received at their hands.

@ CCD

I spent an hour or so at Cafe Coffee Day today for some good cold coffee & relaxation. I haven’t been there in a few weeks, which really is odd. I normally go there once a week but I guess I have been going out on weekdays after work and staying in on Sundays a lot more. Plus I was sick last weekend! I do miss my coffee. Anyways, once I was feeling awake enough to take a bath & dress, I took my iPod, my phone and a copy of John Grisham’s A Time To Kill (which I somehow can’t seem to finish) and took an auto to the ATM before stepping into CCD.

Surprise, surprise! They had changed their furniture and it looked a whole lot different. Infact too different that I actually took a step back and checked if I actually was in CCD! It was quite tasty looking, the tables, sofas & chairs were the colour of coffee & chocolate, making it the perfect setting for having a cup of your favourite beverage, hot or cold. However, they weren’t as comfortable as the earlier ones. Is that on purpose? Maybe they don’t want people to sit there for hours at a stretch, sipping miserly out of a solitary cup and not buying anything else!

Which brings me to my next observation – CCD has become a lover’s hangout. Couples of various castes, financial status & ages have decided that CCD is where they will hold hands and coo at each other and take up space for hours. Don’t get me wrong – I used to do that at a cozy ice cream parlour ages ago, when I was 19, 20 with an ex. I haven’t turned sour against all other lovers just because I am single! Not in the least.

It’s the posers and stupid idiots that seem to be all over town these days. They are so pathetic that it’s obvious that they want people to see that they are together. The guys show off their girls (see me, I got this big boobed bimbo wrapped around me), while the girl pouts and tosses her mane while the whiff of her reeking perfume assaults the noses of poor unsuspecting people. There were two such couples over there today. And I was so happy when one of them left.

Well the staff at CCD can’t control that but I also have a grudge over CCD’s poor choice of music. That they can control! It used to be dumb techno & hip hop non-sense or the latest Hindi film trash or Tamil film rubbish! But today they went one step ahead – some lame Indian band doing weak covers of rock classic! Oh man, you don’t want to torture yourself by inflicting pain to your ears like that. Luckily I had my earphones to block out the waves of mediocrity.

Warning In Advance

How nice of the BJP! The Indian Express has carried a small article in today’s edition stating that the BJP has declared a 12 hour harthal on September 14 “to protest against the formation of the Salem railway division by splitting up the Palghat division and the “step-motherly” attitude of the Center towards Kerala in general”.

So to protest against the Centeral government’s treatment of Kerala, they proclaim a harthal….in Kerala! To inconvenience us, the people of Kerala, on the 14th of September, so we have to stay indoors, not get public transport and have to suffer some more by being unable to operate our work & business and have to deal with loss of revenue!

Clever dudes these politicians, very clever!

Song for the day – “Can I Play With Madness?” – IRON MAIDEN

Celebrate Harthal

Ok, tired is not tired unless you have had something like this – unless you have done severe physical labour. There was a curfew (harthal) due to political parties having a big tiff with each other and the citizens of Cochin have to face the brunt of it. There was rioting on M G Road and the police had to interfere. The rioters from the political parties started attacking the cops and they had to resort to beating them in a ‘lathi’ charge! Needless to say, the scenes we saw on the news were not pretty to say the least. In effect, late last evening, a ‘harthal’ was declared, from 6 am to 6 pm. Fuck these political assholes!

My company, being a 24 hour customer service call center, cannot close down operations even for a few hours so forget about a day. Last night, it was arranged for early pick ups ; people coming in at 7 am, 8 am & 9 am were to be picked up between 3:30 & 4:30 am and brought to the office and the shutters were to be pulled down. Everyone would have to stretch from 12 to 15 hours today. So we did.

I was told that logistics would call me to confirm the timings of my pick up. I reached home a bit before 10 pm yesterday, watched some news for a while. Unable to sleep I went online and only laid down on the bed by 2 am and I got the call by 2:30 am to inform me of the timings! So I got up, brushed my teeth, made a coffee and took a shower. By 3:30 am I was ironing my shirt and got ready. The cab was delayed, so I kept calling the driver every 30 mins to find out where he was. I waited for 3.5 hours and finally got into the cab by 7 am. We reached the office in a half hour without any issues and went to work.

I and my department got into our work, with some music playing and tried to finish our work. Having had no breakfast, except for 4 cups of coffee, at 12:45 we took a break to go and have some lunch. Then it was back to sorting out our work and we took our next break at 4:00 pm. But it was a short break – two of us had to go to the operations floor and I went to the support & admin functions to help to arrange for the next list of employees who had to come in to relieve the ones working now. Then we went back to finish out work and it was done by 6 pm. We waited for a cab to take us back home and in a crowded fashion we finally got in one by 7 pm and I was home by 7:30 pm, tired & washed out. Who is up for a repeat of the same?

Song for the day – “My Heart Has A History” – PAUL BRANDT

Garbage In, Garbage Out

Finally the municipality authorities of Greater Cochin have woken up and smelt the stink of a ton of waste! Today, after many days of waiting & holding our noses in disgust at the piles of garbage being stacked on top of each other in numerous locations across town, the row of trucks have come to take away the trash. It is thought to be so bad that the streets might start smelling of the rotting garbage, that all schools, colleges & government offices were closed for the day! Great, but the rest of us harmless folk have to bear the stench, eh?

About bloody time too, as my fellow citizens of this wonderful city will say. In certain areas you are forced to dump the garbage on the side roads since the waste bins are overflowing and they have started flowing onto the streets. When you go in a car on said roads, it makes maneuvering through the piles the garbage like going through in a video game with hurdles & obstacles.

Be Glad

Working in the late evening or night shifts I come home around 2 am or later. I kind of like this shift since I get to be lazy and spend lots of awake time at home or outside and I also don’t have to wake up at an early hour as I am not a morning person. I can stay awake till all hours of the night, even up to the crack of dawn, but I just hate to get up before 8 am. Ok 7 am is still a bit better but I prefer not to. So this way I get up around 9 am or even 11 am if I happen to stay up late after reaching home, be on the internet while slowly having a couple of cups of coffee or if I feel adventurous, I might go out on the town.

Coming home at that late time of night or early morning, whichever way you wanna put it, you get to see the city & suburbs in a different light. Cochin actually looks pretty in most places if you care to look at it in that angle. The various street lights, hoarding lights & lights at gates etc give the place a different kind of glow. I usually like the drive home and I usually don’t mind if it takes an hour, as I sit at a window seat and gaze outside at the various sights and let my mind wander.

However, one can also see the negative aspects of the city. In this day and age, with huge medical and scientific advances, with all this technology & wealth, huge building complexes, not to mention all that land, building, resources & money spent on unnecessary and useless temples, churches & mosques, there are still homeless people. I see a man pulling his sheets around him, lying at the entrance of a musical instruments store, a family huddling in the doorway of a shopping complex and an old lady sleeping in a bus stop shed! What about the poor animals who have no shelter? The dogs & cats with no homes? No questions asked.

That’s what I like so much about the Star Trek world, as much fiction it is. We should all aim for that world. No hunger, no diseases, no homeless, no stray animals (meaning that they are looked after), no in-fighting amongst humans for land, ideology or nation, no fucking gods or stupid religions making a mockery of us and no paper money needed.

Song for the day – “Imagine” – JOHN LENNON

Pick me up

Today there was a public bus strike in the city of Cochin. The reason for the strike – the state of the roads in the city being so terrible and not deemed worthy of the tires of the buses. Hence commuters of the city are being punished and they have to find alternative means of transportation from and to work / school / college etc. My company provided a pick up in a van and I only had to wait outside my apartment building for 5 mins for to arrive. On my way to work today, I passed by the area of Kakkanad. The area is looking pretty good and it still has lots of open spaces but new buildings for business and residence are mushrooming up everyday. It’s becoming a hip place to stay in.

A couple of years ago, a bus strike would have paralysed the city and many companies would have very small attendance levels. That was a given in those days but not anymore. Many employers, like mine, arrange cabs to get you to and from the office and work goes by almost smoothly. There are some hindrances that cannot be avoided but it is like a normal day at the office. So what will the strikers do?

Oh, as we were going by Kakkanad, I couldn’t help but notice what a lovely day it was. Crisp, cool breeze blowing in my face, the sun was out but it was far from hot. And the clouds in the sky were cotton like. And there was one section where it looked like the opening scene from the Simpsons show!

Song for the day – “14 Years” – GUNS N’ROSES

Rainy Day Cochin

Holy H2O Batman! The rains aren’t letting up, pots holes are being made a dime a dozen on the streets and I don’t feel like getting up early. It can get so cold & wet that we have pigeons taking shelter on the bathroom ventilations, under the cars in my building car park & who knows where else. Today while taking a leak in my bathroom, I was startled to see & hear the flapping of the wings of a pigeon, who had settled on the ventilation. Needless to say he was shivering due to being cold & wet.

On my way back from work, most of the paths are filled with water nearly a foot deep! In areas where the drainage is not properly maintained (that could be the entire state) it is a horror to walk, unless you happen to wear thick boots that go all the way till your crotch! And even then you will have drenched socks &  heck even your underwear is soaked.

The World Goes On

Anyone who has read my blog for a few entries would know by now what I like to do on Sundays. The routine changes very little and it might be a little sad but I do not get that much free time and working 6 days a week only leaves me with Sunday to relax and do what I want. However, what I want to do normally takes a lot more money so I just do the simpler things.

Today I headed over to have some triple sec frappe and a muffin before I went to get my hair cut @ Mama Mia’s. My hair was growing quite a bit unruly and difficult to manage, what with the balding spot & the condition of my scalp! Dandruff, my dear friends – it comes and it goes. I do not have a permanent remedy for it. Anyway, I had it cut short so that it is easy to manage and I must admit, I look a bit younger. But the hair is going at an alarming rate and my threat to shave it all off is looking more and more likely to come true. Why not? Just shave the damn head clean and shrug off the balding! If I wasn’t fat I would have done it a long time back.

After that and being astonished at the amount of hair that I had left on the ground, I went to get some rum & pepsi for a change. But to tell you the truth, I am so conditioned by vodka now that nothing else really tastes good enough. And also, I seem to have lost the desire to drink pepsi or coke! It tasted terrible on it’s own.

Three deaths by accident in the span of three days – a former colleague of mine lost her younger brother & sister when their bike hit a road median and they fell onto the path of a speeding bus. The tires of the bus snapped their heads and they both died instantaneously! The boy was just 18 and his sister was 21 or so. I had seen the boy once last year. Then today while I was speaking to a friend, he got a call saying that his uncle had died as a result of a truck hitting his scooter in Thrissur. And you say that there is a god?

Song for the day – “Row Him Home” – NICKY MEHTA

Bus Etiquette

I have had a hate relationship with my fellow travelers in the buses of our lovely state. There are certain areas where it is really bad – Pukkatupady and area, Calicut (most regions) for example – but it is quite prevalent. I’m sure that most of you would have encountered this during the daily trips that you take to or from work. Have you wished that you could do something about it. I, one man that I am, cannot do it on my own. So please stand up for your rights to travel peacefully.

The things I hate about traveling in a bus:

  • Loud obnoxious talkers & singers, especially Tamil labourers. Please, I need not necessarily want to know your favourite song, so please don’t sing it to me.
  • If I sit in on the very last seat row & there is plenty of space to stand in the middle of the bus, do not stand right in front of me with your ass in my face. I fear you have had a heavy lunch and hence will not hesitate to defend my self & my nose with my umbrella.
  • The assholes who think that they should stand right at the door, even if there is plenty of space inside the bus, in order to (a) get the maximum breeze or (b) to show off. Get a life, you moron.
  • Do not lift your hand and hold onto the bar behind your seat and hence push your armpit towards me. I will elbow you in the ribs or knee you in the groin the next time that happens. I have plenty of sweat of my own and do not need any of yours seeping onto me, through your armpit & your shirt.
  • For all you loud cellphone talkers – who the fuck wants to know about your job or the wild party you had last night? Certainly not your fellow bus travelers.

Song for the day – “We Care A Lot” – FAITH NO MORE

Notes for 12th June

  • Is there a way to keep Paris Hilton in jail? And put Britney Spears in there too?
  • Actors & spouses Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott have a new reality tv show
  • One of my fav bands, Nickelback, are being honoured with a spot on Canada’s Walk of Fame
  • Cochin (atleast parts of it) got plenty of rain last night and some areas have water levels that are a foot high
  • Discovered a blunder done by our client on one of their products
  • Had a laugh about it with some of my colleagues
  • I might shift back to the night shift (4-1) again partly due to requirement and partly due to the fact that I seem to get more free time at home in that shift
  • It has started raining again

Song for the day – “Dam That River” – ALICE IN CHAINS

Rain Drenched Cochin

So my wishes were answered last night as it rained quite heavily and there was lots of thunder & lightning. The balcony of my apartment was completely wet and I almost slipped there as I went there in the morning. I missed most of it, enclosed as I am in my office building and inside my training room. When I went to the open air canteen (well we have a huge roof but it is not enclosed) at around 8:30, it wasn’t raining yet.

But a little after midnite it started raining and pouring like so heavily that the roads were filled with water in some places. Luckily it didn’t rain for too long. But it is a welcome sign of things weatherwise.

I had to go all the way to Vypeen before reaching home. For a guy whose work got over at 1 am, I reached home only by 3 am. The reason being that everyone else in the cab were dropped at their residence first since they live closer to the office but there was this one girl who lived in Vypeen. We have to ensure that there is atleast one guy (other than the contracted cab driver) from the office left in the cabs if there is a lady still to be dropped back to her home. And he has to see to it that the girl reached home safely. Being the only male left, I had to accompany her till her house and then get dropped back to my place, which is closer to the office than her place! Anyway that is to be expected. But I was so tired & sleepy by the time I reached home.

But it wasn’t a total waste of time; she was good company & very knowledgeable and we chatted quite a bit about her project (slightly different from the one I am in) and I got to know a lot about the issues that they are facing.

Song for the day – “Weapons” – TARA MACLEAN

Change in the weather

So we had some heavy rain, then not so heavy rain and then a little rain. Now today it’s like it never rained at all!

It was nice to have rain for two days and then occasional showers to quench the thirst of the Earth. It made the air cleaner and cooled us down considerably, thereby making the evenings & nights much more pleasant. The mornings (until say 9 am) is usually a bit cold and taking a shower in the chilled water wakes you up and every part of your body in ways you can’t imagine. Older people have to switch on the water heaters in their bathrooms before they take a bath in the mornings. Me, I don’t bother and since I normally sleep for less than 6 hours on workdays, I need the extra stimuli to vitalize me.

It is also lovely to sleep the mornings in bed, which unfortunately I can’t do at the moment since I am working a 9-6 shift as I have a training batch. But I fully intend to utilize it on Sunday.

The side effect of all this rain is that the roads get muddy and you tend to get wet on the way to work or going outside for some fun. Umbrellas are in full swing. The whole city gets a slick feeling but better be careful when you are walking. And people tend to get sick when they get wet in the rain.

But today, the heat is back. Two days of no rain and we are almost back to the sweat and the blaze. That is not good. I hope it rains tonight or tomorrow.

Song for the day – “Rainmaker” – IRON MAIDEN

Broken Road

As I came home this evening, having wrapped up by training session for the day, I decided to take a detour and go to have some coffee at CCD. I would also get a chance to see M G Road in it’s disheartened state. And it looks pathetic! Shenoy’s theatre has no wall to speak off! Demolished by the government’s anti-encroachment battalion, it looks like the theatre staff will have a tough time trying to keep the crowds at bay. Several store fronts looked like a bomb had hit them.

I was feeling very energetic today, not sure why. I am trying to involve myself in as many activities as possible. Trying to do constructive things. And make new friends all around. Even flirt a little as I did today with a lady I had mentioned in earlier posts. The fact that I can even think about it after the incidents of last month is a miracle in my eyes. I guess I will always be a lonely bachelor but you can’t blame a guy for trying to have some fun!

Song for the day – “Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night” – BON JOVI

Drinking On The Roof

Today I was just heading out the door to head for the office when I got a call from my manager. It seemed that due to some emergency we would have to start the training for a batch of new recruits today instead of Saturday as we had planned. It was 10 o’clock and he asked me to hurry to the office. I reached there as fast as I could, in 30 mins. I spoke to him and found out that our clients were upset about the fact that we were running short of agents – much less than we had planned. The salary at the call center agent level is not that much, hence we had people leaving our company to join ones that were offering bigger salaries.

So due to pressure they decided to step it up a day ahead. Thanks! No prior notice, no shit! Anyway, the new recruits had to be summoned to the office and that took time. We had to wait for a couple of guys who found it hard to come to the office so suddenly, when they were expecting to start only on Saturday. Hence I could only start the session at 1:30 pm, after lunch, and continued till 6:15 pm. I don’t like it when training is rushed as it usually leads to below-par results. But somethings are just beyond your control.

By 7 I was ready to head out of there when I got a call from Madhu & little after that one from Anil. Would I be free for drinks at a roof-top garden bar quite close to my office? Am I ever! By 7:45 we were up there (quite a nice place, they had done a lot of renovations and the restaurant & three bars in the hotel were really looking cool) on the roof and had ordered a couple of rounds of rum for Anil, brandy for Madhu & vodka for me. We had some snacks of beef & chicken & peanuts. And there was some lightning although no thunder or even the hint of rain.

Chatting about work, the weather, health etc finally lead us to a big debate on the anti-encroachment demolition done on M G Road in the past couple of days. It was quite a debate and went on for an hour atleast. By 8:45 our glasses were empty and were being refilled when we started talking about work and I just happened to mention about Sajith, my colleague and friend since January. Turns out Sajith & Madhu had studied Hotel Management in the same college and were friends who had lost touch over the past few years. Natural since Madhu is from here and Sajith is from Bangalore. So I called him up and he said that he would join us.

So now we were a foursome and the talk shifted to Sajith rehashing to us stories of him & Madhu during their Hotel Management days in Chennai and we had a good laugh. Pretty soon it was 11 pm and time for us to head home, so Anil dropped me at Kacheripady on his bike. That was an evening I will never forget.

Song for the day – “Rock Of Ages” – DEF LEPPARD