Dirty Limerick Time

A right twisted wench from Caprees-ed
Orgasmed each time that she sneez-ed
To the druggist she went
And laid down her last cent
Said, “A barrel of snuff, if you pleas-ed.”

On the moors Kelly walked in a daze
There she’d bark at the moon and the haze
Still her friends weren’t concerned
For by now they had learned
Once a month she would go through this phase.
(author’s note to the ladies: She was a werewolf. Now is it funny?)

A randy marsupial named Reeves
Spent some time with the whores ‘tween their knees
When they’d asked him for money
He’d say “Listen honey
A koala eats bushes and leaves.”

A new farmer’s helper named Kull
Accidentally was milking a bull
The farmer said, “Boy yer dumb,
You done milked the wrong one!”
Said the boy, “But me whole bucket’s full.”

A Hole In Man

…….And a Man sat alone, drenched deep in sadness.

All the animals drew near to him and said, “We do not like to see you so sad. Ask us for whatever you wish and you shall have it.”

The Man said, “I want to have good sight.”
The vulture replied, “You shall have mine.”

The Man said, “I want to be strong.”
The jaguar said, “You shall be strong like me.”

Then the Man said, “I long to know the secrets of the earth.”
The serpent replied, “I will show them to you.”

And so it went with all the animals. And when the Man had all the gifts that they could give, he left. Then the owl said to the other animals, “Now the Man knows much, he’ll be able to do many things. Suddenly I am afraid.”

The deer said, “The Man has all that he needs. Now his sadness will stop.”

But the owl replied, “No. I saw a hole in the Man, deep like a hunger he will never fill. It is what makes him sad and what makes him want. He will go on taking and taking, until one day the World will say, ‘I am no more and I have nothing left to give.'”

Friday The 13th Fear

Triskaidekaphobia (is fear or avoidance of the number 13. It is also a reason for the fear of Friday the 13th, called paraskevidekatriaphobia (from Paraskevi, Greek for Friday) or friggatriskaidekaphobia (after Frigg, the Norse goddess after whom Friday is named in English). The term was used as early as in 1910 by Isador Coriat in Abnormal Psychology.

From the 1890s, a number of English language sources relate the “unlucky” thirteen to an idea that at the Last Supper, Judas, the disciple who betrayed Jesus, was the 13th to sit at the table. The Bible says nothing about the order in which the Apostles sat, but there were thirteen people at the table. Also, the number 13 is not uniformly bad in the Judeo-Christian tradition. For example, the attributes of God (also called the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy) are enumerated in the Torah (Exodus 34:6–7).

There is a myth that the earliest reference to thirteen being unlucky or evil is in the Babylonian Code of Hammurabi (circa 1780 BCE), where the thirteenth law is said to be omitted. In fact, the original Code of Hammurabi has no numeration. The translation by L.W. King (1910), edited by Richard Hooker, omitted one article:

If the seller have gone to (his) fate (i. e., have died), the purchaser shall recover damages in said case fivefold from the estate of the seller. Other translations of the Code of Hammurabi, for example the translation by Robert Francis Harper, include the 13th article.

Tragedy For Humboldt

Fifteen people are dead after a collision on Friday between a Saskatchewan junior hockey team’s bus and a tractor-trailer in rural Saskatchewan. On Friday afternoon, the Broncos junior hockey team of Humboldt, Sask., were en route to a playoff game in Nipawin. Twenty-nine people were on board the team bus. At the intersection of Highway 35 and Highway 335, about 300 kilometres north of Regina, the bus collided with a tractor-trailer hauling peat moss. Both vehicles were obliterated by the impact. A 16-year-old player was among the dead, which included the coach, assistant coach, bus driver and a team announcer. The tractor-trailer driver survived. A dozen survivors are still in a Saskatoon hospital and four remain in critical condition.

The 15 people killed in the crash included many young players, their coach, a play-by-play radio announcer, an 18-year-old stats-keeper and a bus driver. The Saskatchewan Health Authority says four others are in serious condition and four patients are stable. Goalie Parker Tobin was killed and defenceman Xavier Labelle is alive, not the other way around, as originally reported. A fundraising campaign for the survivors and victims’ families has become GoFundMe’s most successful Canadian fundraiser ever, raising more than $6-million by Monday evening.

Gibson Guitars On The Verge Of Bankruptcy

It’s a sign of the times or atleast musical times. Iconic guitar company Gibson , whose Les Paul and SG instruments have been played by generations of musicians, including stars such as Slash, Bob Marley, Angus Young and Carlos Santana, was founded more than 100 years ago in Michigan are reportedly on the verge of filing for bankruptcy. CEO Henry Juszkiewicz is thought to be in a race against time to decide whether to exchange the company’s debt, look to try and pay it off using his equity or try to declare the company bankrupt.

Gibson’s Chief Financial Officer Bill Lawrence recently left the firm just six months before $375 million of senior secured notes were due to mature, according to a report by the Nashville Post earlier this month. He had been working for the company for little over a year before departing. Gibson, which has annual revenues of more than $1 billion, has another $145 million in bank loans that will be due immediately if those senior secured notes are not refinanced by mid-July, the report said. The U.S.-based company has hired investment bank Jeffries to help with its current financial situation.

On Thursday, Gibson issued a statement that said an ongoing streamlining strategy would soon help it record the “best financial results the company has seen in its history within the next year.” It also said the firm would have the ability to pay back the company’s debt in whole within seven years.

Beware Parents Of The Blue Whale Game

Just came to know about this online game called Blue Whale challenge. What an uproar on this! Parents, do some damage control and talk to your kids! This seems ridiculous to me that a teenager could actually do this but I forget that the teenaged years are filled with a rollercoaster of emotions and hormones. They are also easily influenced. I would say parents also have a part to play in this – teach your kids right versus wrong. School teachers also take heed. Let your friends, neighbours and relatives know that their kids can reach out to talk to anyone rather than get absorbed in completing the ridiculous challenges and tasks that the game gives you and then commit suicide at the end.

The list of 50 challenges has been translated from Russian and can be found here. Please be safe, please do not attempt anything from this. Parents and other adults, if you have teens and young adults in your family please ensure that you are approchable and that they can come and talk to you about anything. You could prevent more unnecessary and meaningless deaths.