The Boss Baby

The Boss Baby is a 2017 American computer-animated comedy film loosely based on the 2010 picture book of the same name written and illustrated by Marla Frazee and produced by DreamWorks Animation. It was directed by Tom McGrath and written by Michael McCullers, and stars the voices of Alec Baldwin as the title character, Miles Bakshi, Steve Buscemi, Jimmy Kimmel, Lisa Kudrow, and Tobey Maguire.

So apparently I did not know where babies come from. Babies come from some kind of heavenly abode which has a sort of factory kind of thing where babies are separated as either to go to a family or to go to management. Our main character, Theodore Lindsey Templeton (a.k.a The Boss Baby) is one such baby. After he has been powdered on his bum, given baby booties, a pacifier and diapers the machine judges him to be management material and not suited for a family as he does not giggle joyfully when tickled. He is later sent to a family, the Templetons, and pretends to be a baby. The older son Tim is surprised when an infant wearing a business suit shows up in a taxi at his house, and Ted and Janice call him Tim’s little brother. Tim is envious of the attention the baby receives, not to mention suspicious when the infant acts odd around him.

Tim soon finds out that Ted can talk so he introduces himself as “The Boss”. Seeing an opportunity to be rid of him, Tim decides to record a conversation between the Boss Baby and other toddlers who are at Tim’s house for a meeting (under the guise of a play date by the parents) to do something about how puppies are receiving more love than babies. The Boss Baby and the other infants catch Tim with the recording, and the tape is terminated after the Boss Baby threatens to tear up Tim’s favorite stuffed animal. With no evidence to support him, Tim is grounded by his parents for his actions. Ted calls a truce with Tim when he sees him sad and crying and transports him to Baby Corp, a place where infants with adult-like minds work to preserve infant love everywhere. The Boss Baby explains that he was sent to see why puppies are getting more love than infants. He has infiltrated Tim’s residence because his parents work for Puppy Co., which is unleashing a new puppy on the day that employees take their children to work.

The Boss Baby stays intelligent by drinking a “Secret Baby Formula” that enables a baby to act like an adult. However, if a baby does not drink it after a period of time, he or she becomes a regular baby. When they overhear Boss Baby’s boss threaten to fire him for not bringing in information, thereby stranding him at the Templetons, he and Tim agree to work together to keep that from happening. Tim’s parents take them to Puppy Co. for “take your child to work day”. While there, they slip away and find what they think is the plans for a “Forever Puppy”, but it turns out to be a trap set by founder Francis E. Francis. They discover that Francis used to be the head of Baby Corp. and Boss Baby’s idol but was forced out when it was discovered that his lactose intolerance kept the secret formula from working properly. Vowing revenge, Francis founded Puppy Corp. and intends to have the Forever Puppies overshadow babies by stealing Boss Baby’s serum bottle and infecting the puppies with it. Tim’s parents go with Francis to Las Vegas, and Francis has his brother Eugene pose as Tim and Boss Baby’s babysitter to keep them from interfering.

Without a steady flow of formula to keep his intelligence in check, Boss Baby starts becoming a normal baby. Despite this, he and Tim evade the “babysitter” long enough to get to the airport but are too late to intercept Tim’s parents. After sneaking on a plane for Elvis impersonators bound for Vegas, they stall Francis’ presentation when Eugene unwittingly gives away their plan.

Furious at their interference, Francis locks Tim’s parents up so he can burn them with exhaust from a rocket used to launch the Forever Puppies. Tim and Boss Baby push him off of a ledge, making Francis tumble into the formula. Boss Baby opens the rocket to let the dogs out so they can save Tim’s parents. He returns to baby state while on the rocket, but Tim sings to him with the family song to show his appreciation, causing him to jump off the rocket before it launches. Boss Baby gets promoted and leaves. Tim goes back to being an only child, but Tim and Boss Baby miss each other. Boss Baby returns to the Templeton family as a regular baby named Theodore Lindsey. Back in the present, Tim, who finished the story, is now an adult and the father of an infant daughter who acts like Theodore did when he was Boss Baby.

I found it hilarious, neat, cool, adorable and sweet! I enjoyed it a lot and I almost want to be a baby again! Yeah! 8.5 outta 10!

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 is a 2016 American romantic comedy film directed by Kirk Jones and written by Nia Vardalos. The film stars Vardalos, John Corbett, Lainie Kazan, Michael Constantine, Andrea Martin, Ian Gomez and Elena Kampouris. It is the sequel to My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which was released in 2002.

It’s 17 plus years after the events of the first movie and Toula & her husband Ian are the proud parents of a 17 year old smart daughter Paris, who is embarrassed by the suffocating attentions of her parents and extended family. Her travel agency and the family dry cleaners are closed due to the recession, and the only business still open is the restaurant that Gus, her father, owns. is now the principal at the school their daughter Paris attends, and Paris is preparing to leave for college. With all the smothering and Gus trying to find her a Greek boyfriend, Paris wants to go away to college. an and Toula find their marriage strained because Toula has the same obsessive drive to “fix” whatever goes wrong in her family, due to her daughter treating her like she no longer needs her and her family constantly asking Toula to do it, causing her and Ian to find little time for each other.

Meanwhile, Gus has ridiculously convinced himself that he is a direct descendant of Alexander the Great and wants an online ancestry site to confirm this. While sorting through his paper records, he discovers that his wedding certificate was never signed by the inexperience priest who married him and Maria 50 years ago in Greece. He is frustrated when his current priest refuses to just sign the paper, but is willing to renew their vows so their marriage can be “legal.” Maria scoffs at Gus’ insistence that they must marry again after fifty years together, but agrees to do it if Gus proposes to her properly. Gus refuses. Meanwhile, Toula tries to go on a date with Ian to try to rekindle their romance, but are unsuccessfully caught kissing in their car in the street by their family. Later on, Gus slips in the bath tub due to his bad hip; Toula calls an ambulance for Gus. When he needs to go to the hospital Maria refuses to go with him because she isn’t his wife, and he makes a public plea for her to marry him again. This time she agrees.

Maria wants the wedding she always wished she had and hired a wedding planner who quits due to constant madness surrounding her. The whole family, including Ian’s parents, Rodney and Harriet, and Angelo’s business partner, Patrick, pitch in to make it happen. Nick and Toula eventually realize that Patrick is also Angelo’s romantic partner, and welcome him into the family. Gus’s estranged brother, Panos, flies over from Greece for the ceremony as a surprise. Paris has been accepted by Northwestern University in Chicago and NYU in New York City. She begins to understand the intense love her mother has for her, and leans toward Northwestern. She changes her mind after sharing a moment with her great-grandmother and realizing she really wants to go to New York. She asks Bennett, a boy she has watched from afar and has crush on, to the prom, and he turns out to be Greek and has an equally crazy Greek family of his own. Prom is the same night as the wedding. Toula decides for Paris to go prom and promises to attend the reception later. On the way to the church, Gus, Panos, and Taki drink shots of ouzo and by the time they make it there, the three men are already drunk and stand giggling before the altar.

Maria is escorted down the aisle by Nick but storms off to the dressing room on seeing Gus drunk and giggling, seemingly not taking the wedding seriously. Panos tells Maria that the reason why Gus invited him to the wedding was because he confided to him as evidence of his love and need for her, and the ceremony takes place as planned. Ian and Toula watch Gus and Maria recite their vows, while Paris and Bennett slow-dance at the prom and share their first kiss. At the wedding reception, Gus receives a note from the ancestry site verifying that he is indeed a descendant of Alexander the Great. Ian then realizes and tells Toula that she forged it to make her father happy. The movie ends with the entire family dropping Paris off at her new college dorm in New York.

Though not as good as the original and having too many similar over-exaggerated jokes and situations that are more intune with the short lived sitcom, I still enjoyed this film on a night I was recovering from a fever. I will give it a 6.5 outta 10!

Priests & The Pope

Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally naked, while a beautiful, big-breasted nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his penis. They were told that anyone whose bell rang when the nude model danced in front of them would not be ordained, because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest.

As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell clattering to the ground. Embarrassed, he took a few steps forward and bent over to pick up the bell…

Then all the other bells started to ring.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

On his way to address the U.N. assembly, the pope arrives by plane in New York city. Following his practice of kissing the tarmac, waving to the crowds etc, he climbs aboard the limo that’s been sent to transfer him from the airport to the U N. building.  The limo is complete with tinted windows, plush upholstery, mini bar and, of course, a uniformed chauffeur. The chauffeur welcomes the pope to NY and wishes him a pleasant stay and, as an aside, tells the pope that he, as a devout Roman Catholic, would welcome the opportunity to do any thing he could to please the pope.

The pope thanks the chauffeur and, after a pause, tells the driver ‘Welll . . . There is something . . “‘ The chauffeur pounces on the opportunity to help the Holy Father and replies ‘Anything! Anything. Just ask’! The Primate pauses for a moment and says; ‘You know, being the pope is great . .big palaces . .servants . . Fancy clothes . . Great Art works . . All that sort of stuff . . But, I’m not allowed to do any of the things that I’d like to do’  The driver nods in sympathy. ‘If I can help . . ‘The one thing I’d like most of all’ says the pope ‘Is to drive a big car like this one’. The chauffeur immediately agrees and swaps places with the pontiff.

Once the driver settles in to the back seat Vroom . .vroom and off goes the limo. Out onto the freeway and the pope is flooring the accelerator. Sixty, seventy, eighty and heading up to ninety miles per hour. Swerving between cars, cornering almost on two wheels, on he goes . . When. In the rearview mirror he sees blue flashing lights and then hears the siren of a motorcycle policeman.
Once he has pulled over and switched of the engine, he rolls down the window at the approach of the cop. The policeman stops to look at the pope sitting in the driver’s seat, and asks the holy father to wait a moment while he considers the situation.

On his bike radio, the cop asks to speak to his chief.’ You’ll never guess who I just pulled over for speeding’ he says. ‘I can’t possibly give him a ticket’. He is way too important’! Nonsense!’ replies the chief. ‘It doesn’t matter if you’ve pulled over the mayor of New York. .you give him a ticket. Understood?’ ‘But chief’ he replies, ‘This guy is seriously important, I can’t give him a ticket’.

The chief is puzzled. ‘Did you pull over the state Governor?’ ‘No! Somebody really important?’. ‘The Vice President?’ Are you kidding me? You’ve Stopped the VP?’ Asks the chief. Nope. somebody a lot more important than him.’
‘Oh my god! You’re kidding me. You’ve pulled over the President. Are you crazy?’
‘Actually’ says the cop, ‘It’s someone even more important’. What?? The chief screams. ‘There is no one more important than the President of the USA!’ ‘Who have you actually stopped?’

The cop says ‘Uhm. Er. I’m not really sure who it is’. ‘Then how can you possibly know that they are so important if you don’t even know who they are? ‘ asks the chief.
The cop replies:
‘Well. he’s got the pope as his chauffeur!’

The Nice Guys

The Nice Guys is a 2016 American mystery-crime thriller neo-noir action comedy film directed by Shane Black and written by Black and Anthony Bagarozzi. The film stars Russell Crowe, Ryan Gosling, Angourie Rice, Matt Bomer, Margaret Qualley, Keith David and Kim Basinger and follows a pair of 1977 Los Angeles private eyes who investigate the disappearance of a teenage girl.

From the first scene you understand that although there’s gonna be violence, this movie means to have a sense of humour. Its 1977 Los Angeles and a boy who steals a nudie mag from his dad’s collection ogles at pics of centerfold and adult film star Misty Mountains and a few seconds later a car crashes through his house. He goes to the woods behind his house to find a naked Misty dying in the ruins of the car and as she passes away he drapes his shirt over her body. Later that week, down-on-his-luck private eye Holland March is approached by Mrs. Glenn, the aunt of Misty Mountains who is obsessively claiming to have seen her niece alive after her supposed death. He does not believe the elderly woman but takes the job anyway when he finds out that teenager Amelia Kuttner, who is known to be missing, is somehow involved. Scared by his investigations and not knowing who he is Amelia, who is in fact in hiding, hires unethical enforcer Jackson Healy to intimidate March into staying away from her.

Healy himself is attacked by two thugs, Blue Face and Older Guy, who attempt to interrogate him about Amelia’s whereabouts. He manages to scare them away using a shotgun. He and March join forces to find Amelia and solve the mystery. Holly, March’s precocious and intelligent young daughter, despite her father’s fears, keeps following them despite dad’s attempts to keep her out of the case for her own safety. March and Healey find out that Amelia was working with Misty Mountains and an amateur filmmaker named Dean on an “experimental film”—equal parts pornography and investigative journalism—called How Do You Like My Car, Big Boy? about the smog in Los Angeles. Dean and film’s financier, Sid Shattack, a notorious pornography producer are found dead and Amelia runs into March. Holly, after attempting to investigate on her own, is tricked into a car by Blue Face and Older Guy. Healy fights with Older Guy, while Blue Face tries to kill Amelia from inside his car, only to be stopped by Holly, who warns Amelia and then escapes with her.

While chasing them down, Blue Face is seriously injured in a hit-and-run. Dying in the middle of the road, he reveals to Healy that their boss has dispatched a hit man named John Boy to kill Amelia, March and his family to prevent further witnesses. After a brief investigation, the two are greeted by Amelia’s mother, Judith Kuttner, a high-ranking official in the US Department of Justice, who claims her daughter is delusional and paranoid and points them towards the Las Vegas mob trying to expand into the Los Angeles pornography scene. At a hotel in search of Amelia they find the assassin killing men and sneak away only to have Amelia fall onto their car. They take Amelia back to March’s house, where she reveals that the people after her are working for a cabal of Detroit automakers. After uncovering evidence that they colluded to suppress the catalytic converter (which regulates exhaust emissions), Amelia created the film to expose their collusion. Judith has her assistant, Tally, arrange for March and Healy to deliver a briefcase that supposedly contains $100,000.

When March dozes while driving and accidentally crashes their car, the case flies open to reveal shredded magazines; the double-cross was a diversion to leave Amelia unprotected. John Boy attacks Holly before engaging in a shootout with March and Healy as soon as they return to the house. On hearing police sirens, John Boy drives off while an impatient Amelia has fled the house, only to be killed by John Boy on the street when he inadvertently comes across her attempting to catch a ride. March and Healy try to bring the matter to court, but are rejected, as they have no evidence, leading them again to search for the film. The two have Mrs. Glenn show them where she saw Misty Mountains alive. Inside they find a hidden projector – the nearsighted Mrs. Glenn having mistaken footage of Misty for her niece – and deduce that there was a reprint of the film. They realize that the projectionist, Chet, another protester they had questioned about Dean, is the projectionist for the film and had worked with Amelia to make the film public by splicing it into the presentation film for the Los Angeles Auto Show, which is being held at a hotel.

At the auto show, the two find that John Boy and Older Guy, along with a few other thugs are already there and have interrogated a drunken Chet, learning that the film will be projected automatically from a window of the building. Healy and March attempt to reach it first, only to be intercepted at gunpoint by Tally. Before she can kill them, Holly arrives while pretending to be room service and knocks Tally unconscious. In a subsequent fight, Older Guy falls to his death, while Healy subdues John Boy. He spares his life at Holly’s behest. They take the film to the police, and although Judith is arrested, the Detroit car companies escape punishment. Healy and March decide to continue working together as private eyes, naming their agency “The Nice Guys”.

Funny with a dark sense of humour and some action shots and fighting involved with some nudity, the movie is a surprising change from the usual kind of crime movies we have been getting from Hollywood the last several years. Chalk it out as a good movie to watch on a weekend afternoon. 8 outta 10!

Kajala Beans

A misused word, a misremembered song lyric, a cream pie that just happened to be there: tell us about a time you (or someone else) said or did something unintentionally funny.

Kajala beans! I tell you Kajala beans made me laugh so much and I literally couldn’t stop laughing for a good solid 20 minutes or so. It was so hilarious that just thinking of the words made me burst into laughter.

Many years ago, I think I was about 22 or so, I was in Mattancherry hanging out with some cousins and the two young ones, Aswin and Sree and I were cracking each other with jokes. I heard about this thing called “kajala beans”, a totally made up word by their older brother Harish. It doesn’t mean anything at all. But a song came up and we started singing kalaja beans to the tune of that song when at the end of the chorus one of my cousins farted – twice!

And it was in tune with the song! I laughed so hard and I kept singing “kajala beans a, kajala beans b and kajala beans (making farting noises)” and breaking up laughing. My cousins started laughing too but I just couldn’t stop! I was singing the line again and again and laughing so hard tears were streaming down my cheeks. I had to stop and compose myself but it was hard to do.

Prompt from The Daily Post at WordPress.com

Angry Birds

Angry Birds is a 2016 Finnish-American 3D computer-animated action-adventure comedy film based on the video game series of the same name. It was directed by Clay Kaytis and Fergal Reilly (in their directorial debuts) and written by Jon Vitti. The film was animated by Sony Pictures Imageworks, and stars Jason Sudeikis, Josh Gad, Danny McBride, Maya Rudolph, Kate McKinnon, Sean Penn, Tony Hale, Keegan-Michael Key, Bill Hader and Peter Dinklage.

Reclusive Red (so named because he is a red bird) who lives just outside of the village is sentenced to anger management class after his temper causes a “premature hatching” of a customer’s egg (and where he also threw a cake at the father’s face for trying to bust him) Resentful, Red avoids getting to know his classmates Chuck, Bomb, Terence and the instructor Matilda. One day, a boat docks at the island’s shore. It carries green-colored pigs, who claim to be peaceful explorers bringing offerings of friendship, and are accepted on the island. They introduce the birds to innovative technologies such as slingshots and helium balloons. Red is the only one initially suspicious of them, probably because their ship destroyed part of his home.

He sneaks into the ship and discovers a whole lot of pigs (initially there were only supposed to be two) yet everyone else seems to adore the pigs. As more pigs arrive and seemingly adjust to bird society, with the help of Chuck and Bomb Red seeks out Mighty Eagle, a giant bald eagle said to be the protector of the island, and the only bird that can fly, but who has not been seen for many years. They find him on top of Bird Mountain, but Mighty Eagle is now overweight, self-absorbed, and largely in retirement. Looking through the Mighty Eagle’s binoculars, Red’s group sees the pigs planting explosives around the island while the birds are at a rave party. They realize the party was a ruse to steal the birds’ eggs. Red, Bomb and Chuck attempt to warn the other birds and stop the pigs, but the pigs escape and their explosives destroy the village. When the birds realize what happened, Red rallies them to let loose their anger and take back their eggs.

The birds construct a boat and sail to Piggy Island, where they find the pigs living in a walled city. Deducing the eggs are most likely in the central castle of the city, the birds attack and defeat the pigs by firing themselves over the walls using their gifted giant slingshot. Red, Chuck, and Bomb make it to the castle and find the eggs in a boiler room, where the pigs plan to cook and eat them. Mighty Eagle arrives, having watched these events through his binoculars and had a change of heart, and carries the eggs out. As the birds escape, one egg falls out and rolls back into the castle. Red battles the pigs’ king Leonard and retrieves the egg, escaping as the pigs’ reserve of explosives blow up and destroy Piggy Island. Red reunites with the other birds as the rescued egg hatches, revealing three little blue birds (The Blues), and is declared a hero. He, Chuck, and Bomb are approached by Mighty Eagle, who claims that he wasn’t lazy but instead deliberately made the birds lose faith in him so they could find faith in themselves.

Back on Bird Island, the birds rebuild Red’s house, which had been moved by Red near the edge of the island and was eventually destroyed whenever a boat full of pigs had arrived, all the birds that have hatched sing a song to Red to thank him, and Red reluctantly lets Chuck and Bomb move in with him. During the credits, it is revealed that some of the pigs survived Piggy Island’s destruction and have begun to hatch a new plan to steal the eggs, while a mid-credits scene reveals that the three blue birds that Red rescued use a rebuilt slingshot to launch themselves out to sea.

Though funny in places, I can see why it failed to be a big hit with audiences. It doesn’t really hit you in the heart as most of these animated movies that succeed seem to do. Even some of the jokes seem to fall flat. It was released in the United States on May 20, 2016, received mixed reviews from critics and grossed over $349 million. I give it a 7 outta 10!