RIP Jerry Lewis

Jerry Lewis, the comedian and filmmaker who was adored by many, disdained by others, but unquestionably a defining figure of American entertainment in the 20th century, died on Sunday morning at his home in Las Vegas. He was 91. His death was confirmed by his publicist, Candi Cazau.

Mr. Lewis knew success in movies, on television, in nightclubs, on the Broadway stage and in the university lecture hall. His career had its ups and downs, but when it was at its zenith there were few stars any bigger. And he got there remarkably quickly. Barely out of his teens, he shot to fame shortly after World War II with a nightclub act in which the rakish, imperturbable Dean Martin crooned and the skinny, hyperactive Mr. Lewis capered around the stage, a dangerously volatile id to Mr. Martin’s supremely relaxed ego. After his break with Mr. Martin in 1956, Mr. Lewis went on to a successful solo career, eventually writing, producing and directing many of his own films. As a spokesman for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, Mr. Lewis raised vast sums for charity; as a filmmaker of great personal force and technical skill, he made many contributions to the industry, including the invention in 1960 of a device — the video assist, which allowed directors to review their work immediately on the set — still in common use.

Jerry Lewis was born on March 16, 1926, in Newark. Most sources, including his 1982 autobiography, “Jerry Lewis: In Person,” give his birth name as Joseph Levitch. But Shawn Levy, author of the exhaustive 1996 biography “King of Comedy: The Life and Art of Jerry Lewis,” unearthed a birth record that gave his first name as Jerome. In 1944 — a 4F classification kept him out of the war — he was performing at the Downtown Theater in Detroit when he met Patti Palmer, a 23-year-old singer. Three months later they were married, and on July 31, 1945, while Patti was living with Jerry’s parents in Newark and he was performing at a Baltimore nightclub, she gave birth to the first of the couple’s six sons, Gary, who in the 1960s had a series of hit records with his band Gary Lewis and the Playboys. The couple divorced in 1980.

Between his first date with Ms. Palmer and the birth of his first son, Mr. Lewis had met Dean Martin, a promising young crooner from Steubenville, Ohio. The two men made many appearances on early live television, their first on the June 20, 1948, debut broadcast of Toast of the Town on CBS (later officially renamed The Ed Sullivan Show on September 25, 1955). This was followed on October 3, 1948, by an appearance on the NBC series Welcome Aboard, then a stint as the first of a series of hosts of The Colgate Comedy Hour in 1950. Just before appearing on The Colgate Comedy Hour, Lewis hired Norman Lear and Ed Simmons to become regular writers for the Martin and Lewis bits. The duo began their Paramount film careers as ensemble players in My Friend Irma (1949), based on the popular radio series of the same name. This was followed by a sequel My Friend Irma Goes West (1950).

Starting with At War with the Army (1950), Martin and Lewis were the stars of their own vehicles in fourteen additional titles, That’s My Boy (1951), Sailor Beware (1952), Jumping Jacks (1952; also appearing in the Crosby and Hope film, Road to Bali as cameos), The Stooge (1952), Scared Stiff (1953), The Caddy (1953), Money from Home (1953), Living It Up (1954), 3 Ring Circus (1954), You’re Never Too Young (1955), Artists and Models (1955) and Pardners (1956) at Paramount, ending with Hollywood or Bust (1956). All sixteen movies were produced by Hal B. Wallis. Attesting to the comedy team’s popularity, DC Comics published the best-selling The Adventures of Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis comics from 1952 to 1957.  As Martin’s roles in their films became less important over time, the partnership came under strain. Martin’s participation became an embarrassment in 1954 when Look magazine published a publicity photo of the team for the magazine cover but cropped Martin out. The partnership ended on July 24, 1956.

Lewis remained at Paramount and became a comedy star in his own right with his first film as a solo comic, The Delicate Delinquent (1957). Meanwhile, DC Comics published a new comic book series titled The Adventures of Jerry Lewis, running from 1957 to 1971. Teaming with director Frank Tashlin, whose background as a Warner Bros. Looney Tunes cartoon director suited Lewis’s brand of humor, he starred in five more films, The Sad Sack (1957), Rock-A-Bye Baby (195, The Geisha Boy (195, Don’t Give Up The Ship (1959) and even appeared uncredited as Itchy McRabbitt in Li’l Abner (1959). By the end of his contract with producer Hal B. Wallis, Lewis had several productions of his own under his belt. In 1959, a contract between Paramount Pictures and Jerry Lewis Productions was signed specifying a payment of $10 million plus 60% of the profits for 14 films over a seven-year period.[21] In 1960, Lewis finished his contract with Wallis with Visit to a Small Planet (1960) and wrapped up work on his own production Cinderfella, which was postponed for a Christmas 1960 release and Paramount, needing a quickie feature film for its summer 1960 schedule, held Lewis to his contract to produce one.

Lewis came up with The Bellboy (1960).  Lewis followed The Bellboy by directing several more films that he co-wrote with Richmond while some were directed by Tashlin, including The Ladies Man(1961), The Errand Boy (1961), It’s Only Money (1962) and The Nutty Professor (1963). Lewis did a cameo appearance in It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963). Further on, more Lewis films were Who’s Minding the Store? (1963), The Patsy (1964) and The Disorderly Orderly (1964). Also in 1961, Lewis guest starred in an episode of The Garry Moore Show. Lewis hosted two different versions of The Jerry Lewis Show (a 1963 lavish, big-budget 13-week show for ABC and a 1967 one-hour variety show for NBC). Lewis directed and co-wrote The Family Jewels (1965) about a young heiress who must choose among six uncles, one of whom is up to no good and out to harm the girl’s beloved bodyguard who practically raised her. Lewis played all six uncles and the bodyguard. Lewis would next appear in Boeing Boeing (1965).

Also in 1965, Lewis made television appearances on Ben Casey, The Andy Williams Show and Hullabaloo. Lewis packed up and went to Columbia Pictures, where he made Three On A Couch (1966), then appeared in Way…Way Out (1966) for 20th Century Fox. During 1966, Lewis guest starred in Batman, Password and in a pilot for Sheriff Who. Lewis continued with more movies, such as The Big Mouth (1967) and Don’t Raise the Bridge, Lower the River (196. He continued to act in the 70s but didn’t appear in a film for 11 years returned to film in Hardly Working (1981), a movie in which he both directed and starred. Despite being panned by critics, it eventually earned $50 million. Lewis next appeared in Martin Scorsese’s film The King of Comedy (1983). Lewis guest hosted SNL and also appeared in Cracking Up a.k.a. Smorgasbord (1983) and Slapstick (Of Another Kind) (1984). In France, Lewis starred in both To Catch a Cop a.k.a. The Defective Detective (1984) and How Did You Get In? We Didn’t See You Leave (1984).

In 2012, Lewis directed a musical theatre version of The Nutty Professor at the Tennessee Performing Arts Center in Nashville from July 31 to August 19 over the summer. In Brazil, Lewis appeared in Till Luck Do Us Part 2 (2013). He then next starred in a small role in the crime drama The Trust (2016). Lewis made a comeback in a lead role in Max Rose (2016). Lewis was married twice: Patti Palmer, a former singer with Ted Fio Rito; married October 3, 1944, divorced September 1980; SanDee Pitnick; married February 13, 1983; a 32-year-old Las Vegas dancer; married in Key Biscayne, Florida. He had six sons (one adopted) and one daughter (adopted).

CHiPs

CHiPs is a 2017 American action comedy buddy cop film written and directed by Dax Shepard,[4] based on the 1977–1983 television series of the same name created by Rick Rosner. The film stars Shepard as Officer Jon Baker and Michael Peña as Frank “Ponch” Poncherello, with Rosa Salazar, Adam Brody and Vincent D’Onofrio in supporting roles.

This film is an attempt to bring back the fun of the late 70s to early 80s cop show CHiPs which started Eric Estrada & Larry Wilcox. Now you take away the light hearted, action, crime and drama with family viewers in mind and you bring in physical humour, low brow gags, crude jokes and nudity for the sake of nudity. Hey, if done well that stuff can work but it is just done wrong here. Still I thought the action sequences, bike and car chases and such were done well.

Tough guy FBI agent Castillo sent on an undercover job as a highway patrol officer in LA is partnered with a rookie cop, Jon Baker, who is the oldest rookie cop trying to make it as a cop and win back his wife who has lost interest in him after his glory days as a former freestyle motocross racer beginning a new career after his body has been left damaged by his sport. He is on a regimen of pain killers and is living in the guest house, after he and his wife separated when he lost his sponsors. Castillo’s undercover name is  Frank “Ponch” Poncherello and he too is underfire for having shot his partner while apprehending a criminal. Despite his goofyness and being a rookie, Jon has astute observational skills and impresses his partner in a few days.  The corrupt officers are seen being led by Lt. Ray Kurtz, who is stealing the money from armored cars to get his heroin-addicted son out of Los Angeles. Ponch argues with his new partner over whether Baker’s wife is unfaithful, while Baker gives Ponch unsolicited advice on what he perceives to be a sex addiction. Ponch is fired from the FBI when he ruins the investigation of another agent in which a suspect is killed.

However, he is sworn into the CHP when he and Baker identify the dead suspect as Ray Kurtz’ son. Kurtz sets a trap for them by kidnapping Baker’s wife. Baker knows it is a trap but persuades Ponch to go anyway, despite the fact that his wife has just sold their home without his approval. After successfully rounding up the gang of corrupt officers and killing Kurtz, Ponch decides to remain in the CHP.

The movie tanked at the box office and was panned by critics. I found a couple of scenes funny and the bike chases good. A 6 outta 10!

That First Drink

Do you remember your first sip of alcohol? Of any kind? This is irrespective of whether you are a drinker now or if you don’t indulge at all.

When I was 15 I drank some whiskey by accident. I had just come back from school and I had changed my clothes as I was going out with an uncle to pick up by dad at the railway station. So I got ready and came down and just before we left, I rushed to the fridge and grabbed a bottle to drink some cold water, opened it and poured some down my throat – only to spit it out!

You see it wasn’t water but whiskey! I felt the burning sensation as it hit my tongue and throat and out came everything. The reason I took that bottle by mistake was we had this rather looking whiskey bottle which had a cork instead of a regular bottle cap. Once the bottle was empty of whiskey my mother had rinsed it out and washed it thoroughly and we used to keep it our fridge filled with water. It was my favourite bottle to drink water from as I rather liked the cork style bottles.

The culprit was my uncle who had come in my home that morning with a brand new bottle of the same distillery. He meant to keep it for my dad but also had a little himself in the afternoon while he was visiting with my mom, his sister. The rest he meant to keep it for dad. And I hadn’t noticed that there were two same bottles in the fridge and picked the one that I saw and got a nasty surprise. And that’s how I had my first taste of alcohol!

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Kingsman: The Secret Service is a 2014 British spy action-comedy film directed by Matthew Vaughn, and based on the comic book The Secret Service, created by Dave Gibbons and Mark Millar. The screenplay was written by Vaughn and Jane Goldman. It follows the recruitment and training of a potential secret agent, Gary “Eggsy” Unwin (Taron Egerton), into a secret spy organisation. Eggsy joins a mission to tackle a global threat from Richmond Valentine (Samuel L. Jackson), a wealthy megalomaniac. The film also stars Colin Firth, Mark Strong, and Michael Caine.

Kingsman is a secret service that is so secret that most people don’t even know about it. Harry Hart, code-named “Galahad”, delivers the news about the death of probationary secret agent Lee Unwin, who gave his life to save his team including Hart, to Unwins’s wife Michelle. He also gives Lee’s young son, Gary “Eggsy”, saying that if they ever need help, they should call the phone number (which is the date of Lee’s death) on the back of the medal. Seventeen years later, Professor James Arnold is kidnapped by Internet billionaire and philanthropist Richmond Valentine. One of Hart’s fellow agents, “Lancelot”, attempts a rescue single-handed, but is killed by Gazelle, Valentine’s henchwoman, who wears prosthetic legs that are sharpened to an edge. Gazelle releases Arnold, who then meets with Valentine.

Eggsy is now an unemployed young adult living with his mother, infant half-sister, and abusive stepfather, Dean. Despite being highly intelligent and capable, he left training for the Royal Marines and lives the aimless life of a stereotypical chav.Eggsy is trouble with the law having stolen the car of his mother’s lover’s son who bullies him and his friends. On calling the number given to him by Hart, he is released from the police station and is met up by Hart, who has been keeping tabs on the young man.  With Lancelot’s death, the agency has a vacancy. Eggsy agrees to be Hart’s candidate. Eggsy tries out with a few other candidates, all chosen by the members of kingsman and in a series of tests is one of two selected to the final. He loses out on the role as he refuses to shoot the pug he was given to take care off, unaware that the bullets were blanks and a woman named Roxy, whom he had befriended, wins the trials to become the new Galahad.

During this time, Merlin notes that Arnold is no longer missing. Hart tries to extract information from the professor, but a chip implanted in Arnold’s head explodes, killing him. Hart is injured escaping from unknown assailants. Meanwhile, Valentine secretly meets with various powerful individuals, some of whom go missing afterwards. He also announces a giveaway of SIM cards, which grant unlimited free cellular and Internet service. With all roads leading to Valentine, Hart poses as a billionaire interested in investing Valentine’s ventures but he is not fooling the villain. Hart tracks Valentine to an obscure hate group’s church in Kentucky. Valentine uses his SIM cards to broadcast a tone that causes everyone in the church to become uncontrollably violent. A brawl to the death erupts, during which Hart massacres most of the people in the church, leaving him as the only survivor. As Eggsy, Merlin – the trainer – and Chester King — Kingsman’s leader, code-named “Arthur” — watch via the video link, Valentine shoots Hart in the head.

Eggsy meets Arthur and notices that Arthur has a scar behind his ear, just like Valentine’s other converts. Arthur pours Eggsy brandy containing a radio-triggered poison, but Eggsy distracts Arthur and switches the glasses before they drink. Arthur explains Valentine’s views: humanity is akin to a virus, and global warming is the Earth’s equivalent of a fever. Valentine intends to broadcast his “neurological wave” worldwide to cause a massive culling of the human race to rescue it from extinction. Only those whom Valentine deems worthy of living — his allies, who have protective microchips implanted in their heads, and the VIPs he kidnapped — will be spared. Eggsy refuses to join Arthur, who activates the poison he has unwittingly consumed, killing himself. Merlin gets Roxy and recruits Eggsy to infiltrate Valentine’s lair. As Roxy goes after Valentine’s satellite Eggsy and Merlin infiltrate Valentine’s mountain bunker complex in northern Siberia.

Eggsy is recognised and engages in a running shootout with Valentine’s henchmen. Eventually, both he and Merlin are cornered separately, but at Eggsy’s suggestion, Merlin hacks into Valentine’s system and triggers the implants’ failsafe. Valentine’s henchmen and all his converts’ heads explode into fireworks, leaving only Valentine and Gazelle. Eggsy kills Gazelle after a fierce and intense fight, and then spears Valentine with the sharpened tip of Gazelle’s prosthetic leg. A dying Valentine falls to the ground floor, removing his palm print from the activation pad, terminating the signal. In a mid-credits scene, Eggsy, now a Kingsman agent, offers his mother and half-sister a new home away from Dean, who flatly objects to Eggsy’s suggestion. Eggsy then dispatches him in exactly the same manner that Hart dealt with one of Dean’s henchmen earlier.

So a secret agent film that does not take itself seriously and mixes humour with fast paced action scenes and fights. It’s like a parody of James Bond and the secret agents stuff and it’s fun and silly. I would give it a 7.5 outta 10! Had it been a Hollywood film it wouldn’t have worked as well.

Rings

Rings is a 2017 American supernatural psychological horror film directed by F. Javier Gutiérrez, written by David Loucka, Jacob Aaron Estes and Akiva Goldsman and starring Matilda Lutz, Alex Roe, Johnny Galecki, Vincent D’Onofrio, Aimee Teegarden and Bonnie Morgan. It is the third film in The Ring series. The film takes place thirteen years after the events of the 2002 film.

We start of the movie with a passenger, Carter, on a plane who tells a young woman named Faith hat he has watched Samara Morgan’s cursed videotape. Faith tells another passenger Kelly, who reveals she has seen the tape too. She asks Carter if he made a copy and after learning he hasn’t, the airplane begins to malfunction as Samara comes for Carter and eventually causes the plane to crash. Two years later Holt is off to college and says bye to his girlfriend Julia who later gets upset when he stops contacting her.  She is inspired to find him when a panicked girl, Skye, contacts her, asking for Holt’s whereabouts. Julia meets Gabriel and finds a group of people known as “The Sevens”, who are involved in an experiment involving the cursed video, watching and filming themselves, before passing the task to another person, called a “tail”.

Julia recognizes Skye, who takes her to her apartment to have her watch the video, but Holt warns her not to. Julia locks herself in the bathroom as Samara kills Syke, her tail having been late. Holt reveals that he has watched the tape as well and has twelve hours left. Unwilling to let Holt die, Julia watches his copy and when she picks up the phone, she experiences a vision of a door. The phone burns a mark on her hand. Gabriel notices Julia’s copy of the video cannot be copied and is larger than usual. He discovers extra images within the tape and Julia watches the new footage, which features a mysterious woman: she realizes they must cremate Samara’s physical remains. Gabriel sends them to the town Sacrament Valley, where Samara was given a proper burial after the residents of Moesko Island refused to accept the remains. He realizes the mark on Julia’s hand is Braille, translates it, and goes to warn them. Julia and Holt find an unmarked tomb, but when they break in, they find it empty. They are caught and taken to a blind man named Burke, who claims Samara’s body was entombed by the local priest but a flood came, leading the priest to bury her in a potter’s field outside town.

Heading for the field, Julia and Holt are stopped due to a car crash and learn Gabriel was involved. He tries to warn Julia of his discovery but is fatally electrocuted by a falling utility pole. After experiencing a vision of Samara’s birth mother, Evelyn, Julia and Holt return to town. Julia goes to the church and discovers a hidden chamber beneath the bell tower, finding evidence that Evelyn was imprisoned there whilst pregnant, held in captivity by the priest after being raped before she escaped eight months into the pregnancy. Julia visits Burke and explains her findings. He attacks her, revealing he was not only the priest but Samara’s biological father, and had blinded himself to escape the reach of his daughter’s powers. Julia pushes him down the stairs, temporarily incapacitating him. Holt rushes to Burke’s house, where he is knocked unconscious. Julia is drawn to a room in the house where she discovers Samara’s skeleton behind a wall. Burke appears and tries to choke her to death to prevent her from cremating her remains, which he claims would unleash an unspeakable evil upon the world.

He also reveals that Julia was the twelfth person to have attempted to cremate her remains; the previous ones have been killed by Burke. Suddenly, a swarm of cicadas fly in, summoning Samara through Julia’s phone. Samara removes Burke’s blindness and promptly kills him. Holt recovers and rushes to Julia’s aid. That night, he and Julia cremate Samara’s corpse, in an attempt to appease her spirit for once and for all, and return home. While Julia is in the shower, Holt notices a voicemail from Gabriel, who warns him of the Braille. Holt translates it, discovering it means “rebirth”. In the bathroom, Julia peels away the skin where the mark was, revealing gray skin underneath. She begins to cough up black hair, from which a cicada is born. Meanwhile, Julia’s copy of the cursed video is sent to everyone on her contact list, which becomes viral, despite Holt’s futile attempts to disconnect the computer. Samara is successfully reborn as Julia sees Samara’s face in the mirror instead of her own.

It’s not very original and not very scary. It’s more of the same and though the cast is good, but the plot is muddled and this whole trying to explain too much of the mythology makes it a bit of boring mixed with some “huh?”. It’s an ok attempt to expand the story. I give it a 6.5 outta 10!

The Boss Baby

The Boss Baby is a 2017 American computer-animated comedy film loosely based on the 2010 picture book of the same name written and illustrated by Marla Frazee and produced by DreamWorks Animation. It was directed by Tom McGrath and written by Michael McCullers, and stars the voices of Alec Baldwin as the title character, Miles Bakshi, Steve Buscemi, Jimmy Kimmel, Lisa Kudrow, and Tobey Maguire.

So apparently I did not know where babies come from. Babies come from some kind of heavenly abode which has a sort of factory kind of thing where babies are separated as either to go to a family or to go to management. Our main character, Theodore Lindsey Templeton (a.k.a The Boss Baby) is one such baby. After he has been powdered on his bum, given baby booties, a pacifier and diapers the machine judges him to be management material and not suited for a family as he does not giggle joyfully when tickled. He is later sent to a family, the Templetons, and pretends to be a baby. The older son Tim is surprised when an infant wearing a business suit shows up in a taxi at his house, and Ted and Janice call him Tim’s little brother. Tim is envious of the attention the baby receives, not to mention suspicious when the infant acts odd around him.

Tim soon finds out that Ted can talk so he introduces himself as “The Boss”. Seeing an opportunity to be rid of him, Tim decides to record a conversation between the Boss Baby and other toddlers who are at Tim’s house for a meeting (under the guise of a play date by the parents) to do something about how puppies are receiving more love than babies. The Boss Baby and the other infants catch Tim with the recording, and the tape is terminated after the Boss Baby threatens to tear up Tim’s favorite stuffed animal. With no evidence to support him, Tim is grounded by his parents for his actions. Ted calls a truce with Tim when he sees him sad and crying and transports him to Baby Corp, a place where infants with adult-like minds work to preserve infant love everywhere. The Boss Baby explains that he was sent to see why puppies are getting more love than infants. He has infiltrated Tim’s residence because his parents work for Puppy Co., which is unleashing a new puppy on the day that employees take their children to work.

The Boss Baby stays intelligent by drinking a “Secret Baby Formula” that enables a baby to act like an adult. However, if a baby does not drink it after a period of time, he or she becomes a regular baby. When they overhear Boss Baby’s boss threaten to fire him for not bringing in information, thereby stranding him at the Templetons, he and Tim agree to work together to keep that from happening. Tim’s parents take them to Puppy Co. for “take your child to work day”. While there, they slip away and find what they think is the plans for a “Forever Puppy”, but it turns out to be a trap set by founder Francis E. Francis. They discover that Francis used to be the head of Baby Corp. and Boss Baby’s idol but was forced out when it was discovered that his lactose intolerance kept the secret formula from working properly. Vowing revenge, Francis founded Puppy Corp. and intends to have the Forever Puppies overshadow babies by stealing Boss Baby’s serum bottle and infecting the puppies with it. Tim’s parents go with Francis to Las Vegas, and Francis has his brother Eugene pose as Tim and Boss Baby’s babysitter to keep them from interfering.

Without a steady flow of formula to keep his intelligence in check, Boss Baby starts becoming a normal baby. Despite this, he and Tim evade the “babysitter” long enough to get to the airport but are too late to intercept Tim’s parents. After sneaking on a plane for Elvis impersonators bound for Vegas, they stall Francis’ presentation when Eugene unwittingly gives away their plan.

Furious at their interference, Francis locks Tim’s parents up so he can burn them with exhaust from a rocket used to launch the Forever Puppies. Tim and Boss Baby push him off of a ledge, making Francis tumble into the formula. Boss Baby opens the rocket to let the dogs out so they can save Tim’s parents. He returns to baby state while on the rocket, but Tim sings to him with the family song to show his appreciation, causing him to jump off the rocket before it launches. Boss Baby gets promoted and leaves. Tim goes back to being an only child, but Tim and Boss Baby miss each other. Boss Baby returns to the Templeton family as a regular baby named Theodore Lindsey. Back in the present, Tim, who finished the story, is now an adult and the father of an infant daughter who acts like Theodore did when he was Boss Baby.

I found it hilarious, neat, cool, adorable and sweet! I enjoyed it a lot and I almost want to be a baby again! Yeah! 8.5 outta 10!

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 is a 2016 American romantic comedy film directed by Kirk Jones and written by Nia Vardalos. The film stars Vardalos, John Corbett, Lainie Kazan, Michael Constantine, Andrea Martin, Ian Gomez and Elena Kampouris. It is the sequel to My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which was released in 2002.

It’s 17 plus years after the events of the first movie and nys deferred compensation loans Toula & her husband Ian are the proud parents of a 17 year old smart daughter Paris, who is embarrassed by the suffocating attentions of her parents and extended family. Her travel agency and the family dry cleaners are closed due to the recession, and the only business still open is the restaurant that Gus, her father, owns. is now the principal at the school their daughter Paris attends, and Paris is preparing to leave for college. With all the smothering and Gus trying to find her a Greek boyfriend, Paris wants to go away to college. an and Toula find their marriage strained because Toula has the same obsessive drive to “fix” whatever goes wrong in her family, due to her daughter treating her like she no longer needs her and her family constantly asking Toula to do it, causing her and Ian to find little time for each other.

Meanwhile, Gus has ridiculously convinced himself that he is a direct descendant of Alexander the Great and wants an online ancestry site to confirm this. While sorting through his paper records, he discovers that his wedding certificate was never signed by the inexperience priest who married him and Maria 50 years ago in Greece. He is frustrated when his current priest refuses to just sign the paper, but is willing to renew their vows so their marriage can be “legal.” Maria scoffs at Gus’ insistence that they must marry again after fifty years together, but agrees to do it if Gus proposes to her properly. Gus refuses. Meanwhile, Toula tries to go on a date with Ian to try to rekindle their romance, but are unsuccessfully caught kissing in their car in the street by their family. Later on, Gus slips in the bath tub due to his bad hip; Toula calls an ambulance for Gus. When he needs to go to the hospital Maria refuses to go with him because she isn’t his wife, and he makes a public plea for her to marry him again. This time she agrees.

Maria wants the wedding she always wished she had and hired a wedding planner who quits due to constant madness surrounding her. The whole family, including Ian’s parents, Rodney and Harriet, and Angelo’s business partner, Patrick, pitch in to make it happen. Nick and Toula eventually realize that Patrick is also Angelo’s romantic partner, and welcome him into the family. Gus’s estranged brother, Panos, flies over from Greece for the ceremony as a surprise. Paris has been accepted by Northwestern University in Chicago and NYU in New York City. She begins to understand the intense love her mother has for her, and leans toward Northwestern. She changes her mind after sharing a moment with her great-grandmother and realizing she really wants to go to New York. She asks Bennett, a boy she has watched from afar and has crush on, to the prom, and he turns out to be Greek and has an equally crazy Greek family of his own. Prom is the same night as the wedding. Toula decides for Paris to go prom and promises to attend the reception later. On the way to the church, Gus, Panos, and Taki drink shots of ouzo and by the time they make it there, the three men are already drunk and stand giggling before the altar.

Maria is escorted down the aisle by Nick but storms off to the dressing room on seeing Gus drunk and giggling, seemingly not taking the wedding seriously. Panos tells Maria that the reason why Gus invited him to the wedding was because he confided to him as evidence of his love and need for her, and the ceremony takes place as planned. Ian and Toula watch Gus and Maria recite their vows, while Paris and Bennett slow-dance at the prom and share their first kiss. At the wedding reception, Gus receives a note from the ancestry site verifying that he is indeed a descendant of Alexander the Great. Ian then realizes and tells Toula that she forged it to make her father happy. The movie ends with the entire family dropping Paris off at her new college dorm in New York.

Though not as good as the original and having too many similar over-exaggerated jokes and situations that are more intune with the short lived sitcom, I still enjoyed this film on a night I was recovering from a fever. I will give it a 6.5 outta 10!

Priests & The Pope

Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally naked, while a beautiful, big-breasted nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his penis. They were told that anyone whose bell rang when the nude model danced in front of them would not be ordained, because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest.

As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off installment loan poor credit and fell clattering to the ground. Embarrassed, he took a few steps forward and bent over to pick up the bell…

Then all the other bells started to ring.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

On his way to address the U.N. assembly, the pope arrives by plane in New York city. Following his practice of kissing the tarmac, waving to the crowds etc, he climbs aboard the limo that’s been sent to transfer him from the airport to the U N. building.  The limo is complete with tinted windows, plush upholstery, mini bar and, of course, a uniformed chauffeur. The chauffeur welcomes the pope to NY and wishes him a pleasant stay and, as an aside, tells the pope that he, as a devout Roman Catholic, would welcome the opportunity to do any thing he could to please the pope.

The pope thanks the chauffeur and, after a pause, tells the driver ‘Welll . . . There is something . . “‘ The chauffeur pounces on the opportunity to help the Holy Father and replies ‘Anything! Anything. Just ask’! The Primate pauses for a moment and says; ‘You know, being the pope is great . .big palaces . .servants . . Fancy clothes . . Great Art works . . All that sort of stuff . . But, I’m not allowed to do any of the things that I’d like to do’  The driver nods in sympathy. ‘If I can help . . ‘The one thing I’d like most of all’ says the pope ‘Is to drive a big car like this one’. The chauffeur immediately agrees and swaps places with the pontiff.

Once the driver settles in to the back seat Vroom no credit check military loans . .vroom and off goes the limo. Out onto the freeway and the pope is flooring the accelerator. Sixty, seventy, eighty and heading up to ninety miles per hour. Swerving between cars, cornering almost on two wheels, on he goes . . When. In the rearview mirror he sees blue flashing lights and then hears the siren of a motorcycle policeman.
Once he has pulled over and switched of the engine, he rolls down the window at the approach of the cop. The policeman stops to look at the pope sitting in the driver’s seat, and asks the holy father to wait a moment while he considers the situation.

On his bike radio, the cop asks to speak to his chief.’ You’ll never guess who I just pulled over for speeding’ he says. ‘I can’t possibly give him a ticket’. He is way too important’! Nonsense!’ replies the chief. ‘It doesn’t matter if you’ve pulled over the mayor of New York. .you give him a ticket. Understood?’ ‘But chief’ he replies, ‘This guy is seriously important, I can’t give him a ticket’.

The chief is puzzled. ‘Did you pull over the state Governor?’ ‘No! Somebody really important?’. ‘The Vice President?’ Are you kidding me? You’ve Stopped the VP?’ Asks the chief. Nope. somebody a lot more important than him.’
‘Oh my god! You’re kidding me. You’ve pulled over the President. Are you crazy?’
‘Actually’ says the cop, ‘It’s someone even more important’. What?? The chief screams. ‘There is no one more important than the President of the USA!’ ‘Who have you actually stopped?’

The cop says ‘Uhm. Er. I’m not really sure who it is’. ‘Then how can you possibly know that they are so important if you don’t even know who they are? ‘ asks the chief.
The cop replies:
‘Well. he’s got the pope as his chauffeur!’