Top 3 Historic Events I’ve Experienced

Iraq invades Kuwait : This one is highly significant for me. Saddam Hussain invaded Kuwait on the 2nd of August, 1990 – also known as my 14th birthday. I was born in Kuwait and for the first 11 years of my life, I lived & grew up in the capital city of that country. It was home; despite the fact that us Indians, like most other foreigners of non-Arab background were not eligible for citizenship. So I was born there and unlike most of the West, I did not get automatic citizenship. So what? It was home and it still feels like a home to me even if I haven’t been to the country since 1987. The invasion of Kuwait was more than enough for me to hate Saddam and his cronies and I celebrated when that bastard died. The hurt, shame and pain I felt when he invaded my birth country on my birthday – if I had ever seen him in person, I would have castrated that motherfucker on the spot!

9/11: No need for any introduction to this date. “9/11” is forever tattooed onto most people’s brains as the day that America suffered their most devastating attack since Pearl Harbour and the first on this magnitude by a foreign group on the American mainland. I think America got a huge shock as did the rest of the world. If it could happen to the biggest city in the only superpower of the world, what hope could there be for the rest of us? I also like to refer this day as the one on which what remaining innocence was left in the world died out. Americans also showed us their racist & unconcerned side; Sikhs being tormented and shot to death just because ignorant morons couldn’t tell the difference between a bearded & turbaned Indian and a bearded and turbaned Islamic terrorist. Really? Also its a time when the infamous “You’re either with us or against us” war cry came out of the US. In a few years the anger stemmed down and the good people have continued to be good people. However you still got more trouble at the customs at US airports if you were brown; no matter if you were a citizen. Most Americans know better but them jerks are around.

November 26 aka 26/11 aka Mumbai 2008 attacks: Indians proved that they could be as numerologically astute as the Americans when naming a national tragedy. Pakistani terrorists attacked 10 areas in Mumbai at Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus, the Oberoi Trident, the Taj Mahal Palace & Tower, Leopold Cafe, Cama Hospital (a women and children’s hospital), Nariman House, the Metro Cinema, and a lane behind the Times of India building and St. Xavier’s College and a couple of other explosions via bombs. After 2 days all areas were secured by the combined efforts of the locals police force and Indian security forces. An action by India’s National Security Guards (NSG) on 29 November (the action is officially named Operation Black Tornado) resulted in the death of the last remaining attackers at the Taj hotel, ending all fighting in the attacks. I was sure, as were most of the people I spoke to, that India would go to war against Pakistan. It didn’t happen. Ajmal Kasab, the only attacker who was caught alive, gave the information as to the Pakistani terrorists groups behind the attacks, was sentenced to death on 5 counts and his last appeal in Feb 2011 was denied by high court judges. Indians can’t wait to see the pig fucker get his just rewards.

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So You Want To Get Into Politics In Kerala?

Kerala politicians are a breed apart from the rest of us in the state. Infact, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that they are a different species all together. Here are a few things that I have noted about them creatures:

  • If you are into politics in Kerala and and active member of any party, you must wear all white. White half sleeved shirts or jubas and white dhotis or mundu. It just has to be all white — in order to counteract the fucking black, black hole that you call a heart!
  • Education, being well read, being able to read, aware of the world events, style, class – these are just suggestions!
  • To be a minister you must be above the age of 60. To be a leader of a party, atleast 70. And Chief Minister….well 80 is a minimum!
  • For election promotion posters & photos, you must look like a total dork! The photographer will tell you to smile and part your mouth and show some teeth. Make sure that your overall look is as insincere as possible. And if you are lucky, you will get to wear a little lipstick along with your buck teeth & mustache. Classic!!
  • If you are a jerk and an asshole, it helps! If you have a criminal record, bonus!!!
  • When you are the opposition party, you must take every opportunity to belittle the current governing party’s short comings and belittle their efforts. Forget the fact that when you were in power, you did even worse and gave up without trying a second time for these same concerns.
  • When in power ensure that you milk every tragedy to your benefit. Stand next to victims for photo opportunities and comfort them during a tv interviews. Ignore them the moment the camera is shut!
  • Please ensue that you & your party declare a few strikes & harthals every few weeks. The public is used to it. So block the roads, bar people from going to work, opening shops or enjoying a day out on the town. They should not get these rights. Rather you should unfurl your flags and bring the state to a stand still. The issue at hand is not relevant but the duration of the harthal is.
  • Make every effort to milk money from government funds, taxes, election contributions & bribes. After all, you do need the latest cars, a few mansions and also keep the talkative prostitutes who bore you 12 illegitimate children happy!

A Law That Should Exist

A law that should be enforced on people is a simple one yet it can avoid dangerous situations. Parents or any other adults should not be allowed to forced feed any religious crap down a small child’s brain. A child in India, belonging to either a Hindu, Muslim or Christian family is subjugated to mind altering agendas even before he/she can talk. This has got to stop. You are poisoning an innocent mind even before she/he can spell. However good intentioned the parent or relative, this is absolutely playing with fire. The kid is taught that there is an imaginary person in the sky who will protect it and that in return all he/she has to do is pray a 100 times a week and basically kiss it’s ass. Not cool!

Think about it, grandmothers are the biggest culprits in this case, especially in Kerala and I’m sure in lots of oher areas of India. Bath the kid the first thing in the morning, adorn it’s face with kajal and all kinds of stuff, bring the kid to the pooja room in front of their favourite deity Krishna, standing in all his glory, blowing on the flute of his. And what does that grandmother make the kid say “Ambadi Krishna, enne rakshikyane!” (oh Krishna keep me safe/save me). Kid is shown how to fold his/her hands in prayer and that image & behaviour is embedded in the poor SOB’s mind. One lifetime of slavery to the Blue bugger is created and damn it you have a religious convert. This is the only reason why there are so many religious people.

It’s not restricted to Hindusim; Christians also are criminals in this act. And don’t get me started on Muslims and Islam. The less said the better. And now let’s start the death threats. All I am saying is believe in the fairy in he sky if you want to. Don’t force feed an individual on that religious crap; wait until they can think for themselves and then make a choice after carefully evaluating all the facts and fiction (holy books) before declaring themselves as a Christian, Muslim or Hindu.

If after all that they still wanna be a religious person…….well…then….Satan bless you. HAHAHAHAHA!

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Republic Day Rant

The Republic Day of India commemorates the date on which the Constitution of India came into force replacing the Government of India Act 1935 as the governing document of India on 26 January 1950. The 26th of January was chosen to honour the memory of the declaration of independence of 1930.

Like every other holiday in India (and perhaps the world) it has become a day where a portion of the people make some money by commercializing the event. Shop keepers sell little flags of cheap cloth/paper stuck to a straw. I mean, that’s not right!

Most people these days only know of the Republic Day as just another holiday and an excuse to stay away from school/college/work and relax at home or go out and do your thing. I blame the corporates & companies of today – you take so much out of your employees that they look forward to such events as just rest. And then the companies try to do a one up on their staff – make then come to the office for an hour, hoist the flag (and do it all wrong in the process), someone from upper management (who doesn’t have a clue as to what they are talking about) will make a speech and try to make you feel like a loser for not doing enough for the country and then they will distribute sweets or cut a cake! Yep, corporates in India will cut a cake for anything these days.

Well that’s my 2 cent of ranting for the occasion. I hope you have a good Republic Day my fellow Indians.

Discount Coupon From Big Rock

Big Rock is an Indian based company that specializes provider of web-presence solutions to small-businesses, professionals and individuals. The fastest growing of it’s kind, they specialize in Domain registration, Web & Email Hosting, Website Builders, Digital Certificates and much more. With a proven platform that already powers over 5 million domain names worldwide, BigRock is aiming for bigger & better things.

In a step in that direction they will be soon spreading out the awareness in an effort to reach out to it’s target audience in the form of a communication campaign that comprises TV commercials, print, online and viral campaigns will be shortly unveiled pan-India. The TV Campaign goes on air from January 19th (today) on various channels including Star Movies, HBO, Set Max, Times Now, CNN IBN, CNBC and many more.

And for those of you with itchy fingers and who can’t wait to get to a desktop or laptop to, BigRock has also launched an innovative SMS service where anyone can check the availability of their desired domain name e.g. by sending it via SMS to 5607080.

The company operates out of offices in Mumbai, Bangalore & Delhi and offers a sales & support team available 24/7. The core areas of the company’s activities in India will include design and product development, sales & marketing and strategic partnerships.

Now the good people at Big Rock have given me codes for discount coupons for their products: Up to 50% discount on our Hosting, Email and Do-It-Yourself Website builder products & 10% discount on all other products!

If you chose to purchase one of their products use this Reader coupon <countroshculla>

The Olive Zipbook X-107

While on the lookout for that secondary computer, a netbook to offset you laptop (as I am looking out for), why not go for a local brand? From Gurgaon, India based Olive Telecommunications comes India’s first ever zipbook, which are 3G embedded netbooks.  Currently it offers one 3G Enabled Netbook the Olive X107H. The zipbooks come at an afforable price and are now offering a discount for web purchases only.

From an original MRP of Rs.23000 down to Rs.17999, Olive is offering a whopping 33% discount for all web based purchases; that’s just Rs.15999. You also get a free bag and 15GB worth of free net usage which is worth Rs.3000 for 2 months. The key features of the zipbook are:

  • Intel Atom N270 1.6 GHz processor
  • Intel 945GSE+82801GBM(ICH7)
  • 10.2-inch display ,1024 x 600 resolution
  • 3G EVDO embedded
  • WiFi 802.11 b/g
  • 1.3kg
  • 4 colours
  • 1GB DDR2 memory
  • 160GB HDD
  • Windows XP Home operating system (worth Rs.4000)
  • 3 in 1 (SD/MS/MMC) card reader
  • Lithium-ion 3 cell Battery, Optional 6 Cell battery
  • 1.1kg weight

Delhi CW Games A Shamble

The Delhi Commonwealth Games preparation is fast becoming the biggest shame & joke for India. Nine days to go for the Commonwealth Games and in the face of international criticism after pictures of the dismal state of the Commonwealth Games Village were splashed world over, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh on Friday stepped in to clean up the Games mess. Pictures have been released of the filthy conditions of the housing for the athletes.

Most of us are familiar with the collapse of the overbridge on Tuesday had sparked off fears among the visiting international teams of the lack of safety. Lots of international athletes have pulled out of the Games in Delhi, citing the security & safety concerns as well as the pathetic conditions of the apartments where they are supposed to be put up. The concerns over infrastructure came to media attention in late September 2010 after media outlets began reporting on “filthy and unlivable conditions” at the games village and safety concerns after the collapse of a pedestrian bridge near the main stadium. The footbridge collapsed injuring 27 and seriously injuring five on 21 September 2010. On 22 September 2010, a stadium false ceiling partly collapsed into the competitors area of the weightlifting venue with no reported injuries.

It’s not cricket and therefore it seems that the money to make things glamarous is not spread across. Wake up India; this is reality. Can this nation actually host a proper international games that does not involve that dumb game of cricket?

A Couple Of Places I Must Visit

There are a couple of places that I’d like to go and visit that are part of my home state of Kerala. I have never been to either of these places but have heard a lot about them and yet haven’t got a chance to go there. These 2 places are Mahe & Lakshwadeep.

Mahe is a small town surrounded on all sides by Kerala and is officially a part of the union territory of Pondicherry.  The former French colony now forms part of a municipality of Mahe in Mahe district of the Union Territory of Pondicherry. With a population of just under 37000 people, Mahe is much smaller than the other towns/cities I have been to. The official languages are Malayalam, Tamil & French.

Mahé, like most union territories in India, has a low taxes on liquor :) This in itself makes it a haven for the alcohol lovers in the state and since Malayalees have the highest per capita liquor consumption in India, no second guesses as to why most of us wanna go there. For those of you who watch his movies, M Night Shyamalan was born here.

The other place that I would want to visit is Lakshadweep, translated to English as 100,000 islands. Only 10 of these islands are inhabited. Lakshadweep officially consists of 12 atolls, 3 reefs and 5 submerged banks, with a total of about 36 islands and islets. By boat it takes roughly 15 hours to reach the islands and there are direct flights from Cochin to the only airport in Agatti. Tourists need a permit to visit the islands; foreign nationals are not permitted to visit certain islands. Consumption of alcohol is not permitted in the islands except on Bangaram Island. Ships are the major means of transportation for the islanders. Ships are operated from either Cochin or Calicut. There are around 5 passenger ships, but generally only two at a time operate. Advance bookings are required.

I would love to visit these places although Mahe seems much more easier to go, while I need to get a local from Lakshadweep to sponsor my visit to the islands.

The 63rd Independence Day List

On our nation celebrating it’s 63rd Independence Day, let me take a few moments to let you know a few favourites of mine:

  • Favourite Indian city: Bangalore & Cochin
  • Favourite Indian state: Kerala (naturally)
  • Favourite Indian movie: Sholay
  • Favourite Indian rock band: currently Avial; Indus Creed is all time fav
  • Favourite Indian sportsman: Leander Paes
  • Favourite Indian sportswoman: Saina Nehwal
  • Favourite Indian musician (classical): Usatad Amjad Ali Khan
  • Favourite Indian dish: chicken biriyani
  • Favourite Indian snack: samosa
  • Favourite Indian drink: MGM Vodka
  • Favourite Indian tv show: Highway On My Plate
  • Favourite Indian personality: Shashi Tharoor

Night Out In Bangalore City

While in Bangalore I was cursing myself for not having enough cash saved over in order for me to do some shopping. With me still paying off the cost of the laptop (on which I am typing) money is on short supply and hence spending is also less. But you can’t visit Bangalore without atleast window shopping!

On the second day that we were there, my colleagues and I decided to go out to Brigade road in the evening and look for bargain buys. So after the training we came back to the guesthouse and rested for a bit. By 7:45 we walked a bit and the took an auto towards MG Road. I must say that I was highly disappointed that this once behemoth of an attraction for both tourists as well as citizens alike has fallen on bad times. Blames the flyovers that are being constructed and hence the area is a little too dingy and dirty, blames the fact that Bangalore has prospered so much in the last 10 years that each of the big suburbs have developed at a frighteningly fast pace and are now self sufficient and doing lots of business on their own. Still it was a shame to see so much rubbish piled on some corners. There were more stray dogs than people on the big road! And quite a few rats.

We made our way to Brigade road and went to a few stores. While my colleagues shopped around for clothes, I snuck into an open cafe and ordered a lime ice tea. They both bought a watch each from the vendors and I bought a wallet – cheap but very nice look and make. We then went to have a pint of beer in Soul Cafe, a really cool but dark looking place where they have lots of people smoking hookahs. And the place has a strict no photo policy!

Some more walking around later, it was dinner time and we went to KFC and ordered our food. That’s my plate that you see in the pic over here. That’s 2 piece chicken, fried rice, french fries, a coke and gravy. Ketchup too. The fries sucked and I didn’t even bother opening up the small gravy cup. The chicken was good and the rice ok. KFC in Brigade has fallen on bad times – you can make out with the fading colours, chipped plates and overall look of not doing enough business in the once fine establishment. I dunno how the other branches in the city are doing; the one in Cochin is raking in the big bucks like crazy!

By the time dinner was done, it was almost 11pm and we were tired. We walked down to the auto stand and the first joker said that it would be Rs.160 to take us to our guesthouse. Fuck you asshole! We walked a minute down the road and got another auto driver who said Rs.50 and we said ok. Auto drivers give Bangalore a bad name but unless you own a vehicle, you are dependent on the auto rickshaws.

Tamil Bashing

Ok this incident happened a while ago but left me wondering for many minutes even after I had come home. I was taking the bus ride back home from work and it would have been about 7:20 in the evening. I was sitting in the last row of the bus and there were two Tamilian men sitting near me. The bus was a bit crowded (not unusual for that time) and I could barely see the protagonist of this event, even though he was standing less than two feet away from me, leaning against the pole near the door. The Tamilians, who were obviously low-wage earning manual workers, were chatting very loudly just like their kind normally do. I have always taken this for a fact of life, labourers can’t talk at normal decibel levels, but they work hard for a living, so just shut your ears and ignore them.

The loud chatting seemed to spark an interest in our pole-leaning fellow. He looked at them with contempt and asked them “Are you from Tamil Nadu? Where in Tamil Nadu?” and then went on to use swear words at them. They even included the words “Motherfuckers, sons of whores, illegitimate offspring” etc. I was wondering why on earth the idiot was abusing them. It seems that, as he would explain to anyone who was paying attention, that he has always had bad experiences with the people of the state. He said that he has suffered many days over there while working in Madras (Chennai) or while searching for a job there. He spent days unable to get proper food or even water to drink and the people were abusive to him. He also faced issues when he came back to Kerala and worked for a small firm, whose work meant that he had to often go to cities & towns in Tamil Nadu.

He also said that one of his relatives was applying for a visa to Baharain on the promise of a job by a friend who was settled there. The embassy in in Chennai and they refused him a visa, cause his passport was “Kerala passport”, which means that a sort of racism cost him a trip to a better life. He asked them “Does anyone bother you here? You live peaceful lives here in return for the work you do.” The abuser continued on, until the two labourers alighted from the bus and turned to several people asking them “Are you Tamilian?” Later one the guy, obviously drunk, apologized with a smile and said he was under pressure and was just letting off steam when he hear the Tamilians.

No doubt he faced some tough times while he was in Tamil Nadu and his relative was denied a visa for no reason other than the fact that he was a Malayalee, but can we agree with the guy? He must have had a rough time but there are several Malayalees who are living it up in Chennai & Coimbatore. But hatred towards the entire Tamil population because of that? On the other hand, a man can only relate to something according to the relation he has with that particular thing.

I was left wondering : Okay, I can’t stand their movies or their stupid meaningless songs with non-sensical lyrics that seem to be everywhere these days. I will never understand why they continue to vote for corrupt Jayalalitha or have such fascination with talentless actors. But still I can’t agree with hating our Tamil cousins.

After all, remember this joke: “Why are Tamilians called the horniest people on the planet”?

Answer: Because they greet everyone with “Wanna cum” (Vannakam)!!! LOL

Star World Is Downright Lame

Cable tv in India pretty much sucks. If you want to watch English language series that is. The biggest channel that runs English language shows is Star World – they have pretty much killed off the format that works and instead have resorted to showing too many reruns and showing different episodes of the same series on multiple nights. Good if the serial is something that you like, bad if it’s something that you don’t.

Reruns of Friends are running amok on Star World. This is every day and even though I am a big fan of the series but how many times can they show the same stuff again and again? Ok, everyone loves Friends and I do too so we’ll give them that. Desperate Housewives on multiple weekend nights? Prison Break too? Bringing back reruns of Baywatch Hawaii – come on, how low can you go?

A few evenings back I noticed that they were also showing Pamela Anderson’s VIP on multiple nights too. VIP, really? How many episodes can you watch Pam bounce her twins in pink outfits while running around? Then there is the dumb Indian chat shows – Coffee With Karan. Now they have brought back grandma Simi Garewal’s show Rendezvouz? Oh come on! That is so fucking lame.

About the only good thing showing on now is Castle. Mondays through Thursdays, which just started this week. I like this show a lot but trying to catch it every night at 10pm is going to be tough. I prefer the once a week format. Almost everything else on Star World sucks!

Just What Is A Harthal?

Lady Banana left me a comment asking me what a harthal day was. Instead of a reply comment, I thought I’d post it here.

A Harthal is a strike usually called by political party/parties against anything that they feel is unjust, like rise in price in diesel, petrol, fuel, food & basic commodities, arrests or attacks against an influential political party etc. This is mostly against what the general public wants and the people are usually against harthals. On a day when a harthal is called buses, taxis, autos & trains usually don’t run their normal routes. Due to harthals, there are great financial loses. The states in India which are usually affected are the ones that have huge Communist allegiences like Bengal & Kerala.

Movie theatres and other public places of entertainment are closed down, stores, restaurants & shops remain closed, schools & colleges are closes. Most offices are closes as well.  Political parties conduct marches on the street and they stop/block your way so that you are delayed in reaching your destination. They might break the windows of stores that open on this day – unlikely as most store keepers know better and they won’t open on a harthal day.

Earlier we were forced to suffer 24 hour harthals but now it’s usually 12 hours and that too from 6am till 6pm. So companies like where I work, have their staff come in before 6 am and drop them home after 6pm in order to avoid issues & injuries. This inconveniences a lot of us and we are forced to go through this suffering because of the fucking politicians.

Yesterday they stopped many trains and the passengers were forced to wait for many hours, stuck in the railway station. What these bastard communists party assholes did, was that they forced people to be stranded without food and in many cases without water, while special food was catered only for the political party members! This is your politics Kerala & India – and it fucking sucks!

The State Must Be Paralyzed!

The state must be paralyzed – screamed the heading, quoted by the secretary of the Kerala State Committee of Communist Party of India (Marxist) (CPI(M)) Pinarayi Vijayan. I’m sure that it will, thanks to you and your party.

The Indian state of Kerala will suffer through another unwanted & unwarrented state wide harthal – a political party led forced stoppage of work, travel & normal routine of life. You cannot go to work at a normal time, you cannot travel on the streets freely and you cannot go and do anything fun or otherwise in public. The politicians demand that you sit at home and waste a day, thinking about the rise in prices of commodities.

So, against your own wishes you are held hostage to the whims and fancies of the political parties! And we call this democracy?

Paint It Black – Just Like Your Heart

Sri Ram Sena – one of those holier than thou political parties – had attacked girls in a Mangalore pub last year to prevent them from entering it. The reason was that they felt that women frequenting pubs were completely against Indian culture. They were against the ‘Westernization’ of India. If I am not mistaken, this was also the same people who attacked a couple of parties/dances held by a call center in Mangalore, because there were girls presents along with the men.

Ram Sena chief Pranod Mutalik was taking part in a debate, organized by a local cable channel, held in the Bangalore Town Hall yesterday and talking strongly against the culture of ‘Valentine’s Day’, which is on this Sunday. Mutalik was warning the public saying that he would forcibly marry off any couple found together on February 14! First of all, who are these bastards? And how can they force people to do something against their will?

Well, Mutalik got attacked by members of the Youth Congress a few seconds after his verbal attack. Two youths stormed the stage and blacked his face – by painting his ugly mug with black ink! Son of a bitch got what he deserved.

The police say that the channel should have asked for protection. 6 men were arrested, the Sena activists started going on the rampage attacking Congress offices in Karnataka. And Mutalik had the nerve to say that the incident was, get this, an attack on….democracy! Democracy – hell bitch, you don’t know the meaning of the word.

Annual Solar Eclipse Seen Tomorrow

Tomorrow January 15th will see India witness the annular solar eclipse, which will be the longest lasting eclipse in the last millennium. The eclipse will last for 11 minutes at the peak, and will be first seen in the Southern part of India, staring from Tamil Nadu, and finally ending in the North-East part of the country.

The eclipse that will be seen by the people this January is an annual solar eclipse; the same occurs when the Moon’s diameter is smaller than the Sun, causing the sun to look like an annulus (ring), blocking most of the Sun’s light. The path of the Moon’s antumbral shadow begins in Africa and passes through Chad, Central African Republic, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Uganda, Kenya, and Somalia. After leaving Africa, the path crosses the Indian Ocean where the maximum duration of annularity reaches 11 min 08 s.” It will be visible as a partial eclipse in much of Africa, Eastern Europe, Middle East and Asia. It will be seen as annular within a narrow stretch of 300 km (190 mi) width across Central Africa, Maldives, South Kerala, South Tamil Nadu, North Sri Lanka, Burma and China.

At approx 13.20 hrs IST, the annular solar eclipse enters India at Thiruvananthapuram (Trivandrum), Kerala and exits India at Rameswaram, Tamil Nadu. The eclipse will be viewable for 10.4 minutes in India, making it the longest annular solar eclipse of the millennium. The best place to view the eclipse from India is Dhanushkodi in Pamban Island off Tamil Nadu coast and in Kerala it is Varkala.

How To Spot An Indian

* Everything you eat is savored with garlic, onions and chilies.

* You try and re-use gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

* You are standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the airport.

* You arrive one or two hours late to a party, and think it’s normal.

* You peel the stamps off letters that the postal service missed to stamp.

* Your toilet has a plastic bowl next to the commode.

* All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.

* You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.

* You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

* You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it’s the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch .

* You live with your parents even if you are 40 years old. (And they like it that way).

* If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel it’s your duty to spread the word.

* You only make long distance call after 11pm

* If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight.

* When your parents meet Indian for the first time and talk for a few minutes, you soon realize that they are your relatives.

* Your parents don’t realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs while talking.

* You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.

* It’s embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.

* You List your daughter as “fair and slim” in the matrimonial no matter what she looks like.

* You’re always interested to know/interfere in others’ personal matters, what they are doing, where they are going, etc.

* You have really enjoyed reading this mail because you know some, or most of them, applies to you!