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Practice Makes Perfect?

Tell us about a talent you’d love to have… but don’t.

Playing the guitar. Playing acoustic, classical, flamenco, finger style, blues, hard rock and heavy metal styles of guitar soloing and rhythmic playing that is top notch, just like the musicians I listen to on a regular basis. I have always wanted to be able to play awesomely on the guitar and took lessons when I was 12 but I quit within a few months and do not know how to play a chord now. I quit because we had a really bad teacher and he made me want to bash that acoustic guitar on his head.

I would love to play on stage or in front of friends or at the office or cafe or even just at home. I’d love to be creative and make my own music or just play covers. I’d love to be in a part time cover band and play in clubs or bars and have audiences sing along. Music is life. I would love to share it with people

Here I am….rock you like a Roshancainne!

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On The Stage

Have you ever played in a band? Tell us all about that experience of making music with friends. If you’ve never been in a band, imagine you’re forming a band with some good friends. What instrument do you play in the band and why? What sort of music will you play?

I was in a band actually…..for a few days! Hehehehe, I was the singer for a “band” that we setup at one of my previous work places, First Source Kochi all the way back in 2007. It was me, a guitarist, a bassist and a keyboard player and we had additional tracks (including guitar parts and drums) added to the keyboard.

We practised and performed three songs for a company function back in 2007 and it was great. For 15 minutes or so I was rocking on stage and it was fun. When it was over I was on such a huge high and it was intoxicating. And literally a few minutes later, a friend I went to smoke weed under a large tree. Yeah, just like rock stars! Hahahahaha

It was a very memorable and excellently radical time. I enjoyed every moment of it.

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If You Leave

Life is a series of beginnings and endings. We leave one job to start another; we quit cities, countries, or continents for a fresh start; we leave lovers and begin new relationships. What was the last thing you contemplated leaving? What were the pros and cons? Have you made up your mind? What will you choose?

I have not exactly quit the job I currently have but I have applied and gotten through to another process with a slight promotion as well. I had contemplated quitting my job but without a ready substitute to go to or fall back upon that would be considered foolish. It’s not like I have tons of money stashed away that I can rely on. No I don’t and I also have a large credit card debt!

I have wanted to quit my city and move away. I love Cochin but there’s a lot of stuff missing from this place, especially pub culture and a lack of rock music shows. Bangalore has that in plenty and I guess to an extent so do Delhi/Gurgaon and Chennai. My 2 week stay in Gurgaon showed me that I could easily settle in that city – with a lot more money than I am currently making though ofcourse – and make myself a happy life there. I would love to move but at age 40 I think it’s a little too late and I should have taken up chances earlier in my life.

I have left relationships – not the kind you are thinking of but just close relationships – but I do not want to talk about them. They are too recent and fresh in my mind so I am not comfortable yet in blogging about them. Someday though and soon.

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I Plead The Fifth

What question do you hate to be asked? Why?

My fellow Indians, well my fellow Malayalees atleast, are a very inquisitive bunch. No wait, that was waaaay too polite. I meant they are too fucking nosy for their own good. They are way too curious for their own good and do not think twice about asking questions that they should not ask. I have faced this issue with Uber drivers as well and it is awkward as I cannot get out of the car until I reach my destination.

The question that these morons tend to ask is – other questions are “where are you from?”, “where do you work?” “are you married and have kids?” – is “Why haven’t you gotten married yet?” Thanks dude I just met, when did you become my mother? This is an irritating question because I am not comfortable in answering that from people I know, forget about nosy jackasses I just met a few minutes ago.

I get so annoyed but I never say that I am pissed. I tell some lie and make them shut up for a few minutes as I curse the bugger’s parents for not having taught him some basic manners and the school teachers who failed him as well.

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Let It Be

A restaurant that removed your favorite item from the menu, a bad cover of a great song… Write a post about something that should’ve been left untouched, but wasn’t. Why was the original better?

Pizza Hut India. I am not sure about all the centers in India but certainly the two that are in my city (that I know off) are in Lulu Mall and Center Mall. The one in Center Mall, because it is in close proximity to me and because Cinepolis – my favourite multiplex – is in the same mall, is the one that I go to mostly. I have only been to the Pizza Hut in Lulu Mall once and that was last year in February.

So Pizza Hut had a pepperoni pizza that was with real pork pepperoni. And it was delicious! Sometime in late 2015 I went in and ordered the pepperoni pizza and they told me they don’t serve pork anymore. Why? “Because of religious reasons” was what I was told. Ofcourse the investment in the mall is with Gulf Investment and hence no pork as muslims don’t eat pork. “So don’t serve it to them!” Religious reasons! This is why I don’t try religion and stay away from it.

Well atleast Dominos still has it. And there’s 360 and other smaller restaurants that still serve pork.

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A Change Of Seasons

I’m going to be changing processes at work (I work for a BPO) by the end of the month. It’s a little bit of a promotion which also comes with a little bit of a pay increase. I applied for the post in January and completed two rounds – one of which was a presentation and the other was an interview – by the end of January and then had to wait till the 28th of February (there were some other applicants) to get the result.

I was told on Monday and show a mail declaring that I was through and that my release date from this process to the other one was to be on the 30th of March. I am happy about it. I hope I can do really well in my new post and I can succeed with some satisfaction. I wasn’t happy in my current process and really wanted a change. Truth be told I was getting impatient. I was in this process for 2 years and 2 years in a process that you do not like or enjoy is a bit too much. So I am happy about the change. I am going to have issues with not working next to the Training & Quality team that I have been with for these 2 years but we work in the same organization and will be just 2 floors apart and we only have the one main cafeteria so I will see them a lot.

So I will spend March getting the new guy, or guys if they add more folks, prepared to handle the stuff that I have been doing and mostly the administrative tasks which are many and has a lot of reports and stuff. And I will look forward to a new profile and process. I have a good feeling.

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Young At Heart

What are your thoughts on aging? How will you stay young at heart as you get older?

I have a favourite saying “You are only as old as the girls you feel” – so bring only the 18 year old chickies!

I would love to say that I truly believe in the song “18 Till I Die” by Bryan Adams. I know I am growing older, I am 40 and no longer the spring chicken I once was. But do I think like an older person? I dunno. For one, I see older folks thinking about certain things, speaking about certain stuff and in a certain manner and I am nothing like them. Atleast it seems like that to me.

I refuse to stop being silly, to stop dreaming, to stop not wanting or wishing and being a little silly. That will keep me young at heart. The moment I stop all these things then I am old and probably jaded.

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Old Photo Album

What’s the oldest thing you own? (Toys, clothing, twinkies, Grecian urns: anything’s fair game.) Recount its history — from the object’s point of view.

The oldest thing I own is probably a very old photo album that my parents gave me many years ago. It is pretty old maybe 30 plus years old as I remember I was not even 10 at the time. It is filled with photos of me, me with my sister and parents, me with my uncle and aunt and friends I grew up with during my childhood. These photos were all taken from the time that I was a baby to the age of 11.

This is my childhood in a large album. I will never be as innocent and cute as I was back then. I had a very happy childhood and I know that we can never be as happy and carefree as we were when we were kids. This is a reminder of a happier times and a more simpler and gentler times. When you felt safest and like nothing could ever go wrong with your world. When you did not know any better.

This is the oldest thing I own. And it could very well be the most precious thing I own.

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Litmus, Litmus on the Wall

If you had to come up with one question, the answer to which would determine whether or not you could be friends with a person you’ve just met, what would it be? What would the right answer be?

I dunno what question I could possibly ask. What one question can I put as a test to someone I’ve just met to determine if they could be a friend or not? “Are you going to be an asshole when we don’t agree on something?” I dunno but that might be a good starting point.

I guess a small conversation which reveals a lot about the person is something I would prefer. There are people who within one meeting I can gauge that they are a good person and are usually very reasonable and yet there are several other folks who it takes a long time to really get to know and only after a while what kind of person they really are and if you can be friends with them. So it really depends on the person you are talking about and even you.

Therefore I think it is best to give people a while and really get to know them before you trust them completely and open up to them.

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Spending An Afternoon In Lulu

So, I missed posting this on Saturday evening as my internet was down until late night and on Sunday I plum forgot about it. Anyways, I woke up at 10am on Saturday and post coffee, a shave and shower I booked an Uber and went to Lulu Mall in Edapally. I was there to watch a movie (Hidden Figures) which was at 2pm. As I reached there just before 1pm, I had enough time to have a leisurely lunch and went to Bloomsbury which is right next to the PVR section.

Although I had my heart set on one of their pizzas, looking at the size of them made me doubt if I could finish one on my own and hence I went with a delicious pasta instead. I had the spaghetti alfreddo which was delicious and creamy and had grilled chicken chunks in it along with black olives. It would have been amazing but it needed more salt and so I added salt and pepper. I also had a shake before my food. I relaxed and people watched and later I walked around a bit until 2pm and went in to the theatre with my caramel popcorn and pepsi and enjoyed a really good movie.

During the intermission, Gopika who was also in the theatre saw me and we met after the movie. We talked for a while after which we went to Hypermart and did some shopping. I bought a few essentials and a few food items like mushrooms and stuff and then I treated her to an ice cream at Cold Stone and then we parted ways at 6pm when I booked an Uber and came back home. It was a good visit to Lulu.

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The Extra Room

An extra room has magically been added to your home overnight. The catch: if you add more than three items to it, it disappears. How do you use it?

Hmm I guess I would make it a kind of media room and I will decorate it with just three items in order for it to remain here.

First I will get a really big and comfy sofa that comes with soft leather ottomans. In front of that I would have a 60 inch flat screen led smartv so I can watch cable or my movies/tv shows in style. That would be a great way to relax and get entertained. So now, what about the third?

For the 3rd item I am torn between a minifridge or bar area and a large DVD / BluRay shelf. I am not sure which one I would go for. Probably the latter since I only do some drinking at home. But it would be nice to have your own little bar area.

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Once More On The Same Road

Valentine’s day is hard for the single and lonely. It’s harder when you are single and lonely and you do have feelings for someone who does not share it. Over the years I have fallen in love, been loved and been heart broken. I have had unrequited love and affection and I have had my crushes. But I have always been the one at the losing end.

At times I have come to feel and even accept the fact that I will forever be alone. I am not good enough or lucky enough to find that one woman who will love me and be with me for the rest of her life. I have had incredible bad luck in this department which led me to understand that it will never work out for me. I have been searching….well not really searching more like waiting for the right one. But I always fall for the wrong one. I found myself at the age of 40 falling for a much young woman. She is everything I could have ever hoped for. But for several reasons, ofcourse the age being the biggest thing, I know it was not possible even from the very first day that I started feeling something for her.

It has made me feel guilty as well for having these feelings. I was ok for a while, having settles into bachelor life and my loneliness and suddenly it all turned tospy-turvy. I shouldn’t have to go through this yet again. But it did happen. Someday this will pass. But until that day that I can move on, I carry on. Once again.

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The Anti-Bucket List

What are the top items on your anti-bucket list — those things you never, ever want to do, places you never want to visit, books you never want to read, etc.?

This is interesting. Usually I have heard of bucket lists that people prepare and I have been asked my own bucket list. Though I have never ever sorted out an official bucket list for myself – I know what I want and I have a few things that I feel that I must do before the end but never written it down anywhere – we all have things that we know what we just would want to do before we die.

So here goes a few things on my anti-bucket list

  • never want to be arrested
  • never want to watch Twilight (all the movies)
  • and Transformers
  • no interest in Dr. Who either
  • never want to go to Saudi Arabia
  • never want to be a brown-noser
  • never want to be a hypocrite
  • never want to go to overly religious sites

I guess this list will get bigger as time passes by. For now this is it.

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Procrastination Destination

We all procrastinate. Website, magazine, knitting project, TV show, something else — what’s your favorite procrastination destination?

The internet ofcourse! It’s obvious that we all are online a little too much and I spend more than my fair share online. Especially Facebook and Youtube. I am addicted to them both. I know I shouldn’t spend as much time as I do on them but I just can’t stop.

Youtube is the big one for me. I subscribe to a lot of channels and I make my own videos as well and there are so many videos that I watch over and over again. It’s a lot of fun and I do not plan on stopping anytime soon. I can spend hours going through Youtube videos and on my days off when I stay at home that’s what I do. In between I will watch a movie or two or some tv show episodes But yeah that’s what I do.

Sometimes I get late to go somewhere or get ready because I am in the middle of some Youtube video watching. Sleep comes second as well. And I love my procrastination destination.

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The Young(??) And The Rested

When was the last time you felt truly rejuvenated and energized? What made you feel that way?

To be honest the last time I felt like that was last year towards the middle of February. 2016 almost a year ago to this day. That is a long time to ever have to feel like that. After 2 months of really long, long hours at work and barely getting much time to myself except for the weekends I got a 6 day off period from work. In this industry we rarely get holidays and since I usually fall sick and have to take 2 sick days a month (I celebrate when I don’t have to take a sick leave in a month or keep it to just one a month) and hence I usually have just a few days off in my leave count anyways.

But that time, I had quite a few days in my kitty and I wanted a few days off. I wanted 9 including two weekends so basically I just wanted a 5 day week off. But I only got 4 since my boss wanted me back in the office on the Friday. Still getting 6 days off was a good thing. I didn’t do much on those 6 days but slept and enjoyed myself. I went shopping on two days and the other 4 days I was lazy as hell. Watched a bunch of stuff on tv and a few movies and I was so rejuvenated. I wish I could get a few days off like that again.

Last December I took 2 days off just before the weekend and in total the 4 days gave me some much needed rest. But I rarely can stay away from work related and things that bother me. So my mind is always occupied. I need a big recharge. This coffee just isn’t doing it.

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All Or Nothing At All

“Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.” — Sylvia Plath. Which do you find more dangerous: wanting nothing, or wanting everything?

I think it’s a catch 22 type of situation if you want it all. Wanting everything means that you will likely never be satisfied because you are always planning and waiting for the things that you don’t have. If you want to keep the next achievement or award or whatever it is that you want as a way to challenge and motivate yourself then I think it’s pretty healthy to do so as long as you also appreciate what it is that you do have and take some moments to cherish them.

Wanting nothing at all is so dangerous. It’s not human at all to not want or desire. That is what fuels us and gives us purposes. It need not be money or fame or anything like that. It can be wanting a peaceful existence or wanting happiness and joy and having a wonderful family life. If you do not want anything at all then you are dead inside, a hollow shell of a being. How can you not want something? No way can a human being want nothing. If they do say so they are liars.

It’s a good balance to have though if you are satisfied with what you have and yet also look forward to something more. Means you will work on it. You will improve yourself and your surroundings. You have a passion to reach out for.

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The Week That Is

Think about what you wanted to accomplish last week. Did you? What are the things that hold you back from doing everything you’d like to do?

I had a couple of things I wanted to do this past week – well work week anyway. I had applied a few days before for an internal job posting at the company I work for and I had two interviews set for this Monday and Wednesday. I had my first round, a presentation round on Monday at 7 pm which eventually became almost 7:45 pm due to some issues. Anyway I completed that and I think did well enough. On Wednesday I had a personal interview round which was a casual affair.

That done I was on a complimentary off on Thursday for having worked on the previous Thursday which was Republic Day. As the clients were in the office I had to come in for work and I could take this Thursday for some personal reasons. I also went to KFC in the evening and bought some take away. It was a busy day though. The other thing I wanted to achieve isn’t completed yet. I wanted to get a couple of people who I am close to job interviews at a company or two using my contacts. One was done and she is through now I am waiting for the second one to attend the same. It will have to be on Monday next.

And that’s about it. I also sold my previous phone, my BlackBerry Q10, and using that money to get some ships for my Star Trek collection. Today is relaxing at home and tomorrow I will go out and watch a movie.

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New Dawn

How often do you get to (or have to) be awake for sunrise? Tell us about what happened the last time you were up so early (or late…).

I rarely am awake at sunrise though it is often a funny, weird feeling to be awake at that time. During the odd days that I am awake because of work I am usually too tired to even worry about something like get a cup of coffee and go stand in the balcony and watch the sunrise.

But yes I have done that at times when I am at home and usually alone. I have had some other days when sleep either fails me or I happen to wake up early and it usually is very quiet. I usually will switch on a movie or some tv show – once I actually watched an Iron Maiden special and a couple of times I have watch comedy standups. Anything really. And yes I have gotten that coffee and gone to the balcony.

I do like being awake at that time and enjoying some quiet time by myself. It’s ok once in a while.

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