Frustrating Customers

What type of customer email are you most frustrated with?

If you have worked in customer care you have probably dealt with all sort of types. Some of the worst human beings and entitled scum are contacting you face to face or on chat, phone or email. From really sarcastic emails to abusive contacts, you run the gamut. The whining and stupid questions and unrealistic demands are astounding.

Ok you ordered something and we have shipped it via UPS or FedEx or somebody and now you have changed your mind and want to cancel it. Once it is shipped the only thing you can do is to ask the carrier to return it if they can or ship it back. That is common sense. What? You upset about it? What do you want us to do – run behind the van carrying your package and grab the driver and tell him to stop? Are you that entitled or just that fucking stupid?

Another one that I hate is when someone sends just a screenshot or a pic and nothing else. No texts, no explanations. Nothing mentioned in the title or anything. We do not work with telepathy over here, asshole!

1000000

What would I do with 1 million USD? That would be Rs. 7,30,92,250 after the currency conversion.  First of all, I would quit. Just call up and say “I quit” and then accept retirement. What wouldn’t I do with that kind of money! Just to give you a perspective, some of the biggest luxury apartments (about the size of 2 large 3 bedroom regular apartments) are half a crore.

So I would buy 3 of those – 1 for my parents, 1 for my sister and her family and 1 for me. With the rest of the money, I’d invest some of it so that it gives me a bunch of savings off the interests. I’d travel a bit, live in luxury 5 star hotels and buy the latest gadgets. I’d enjoy seeing the places that I have always wanted to see but mostly I’d live a quiet life.

I’d want a quiet almost retired life. Stay in and enjoy not having to worry about money or work and all that stuff. I’d live my life and enjoy indulging in my hobbies and just relax for the rest of my life. I’d be a very boring rich guy but I don’t mind.

Prompt from Keeping a Journal in 2020: Journaling Prompts

My Secret Desire?

What’s your secret desire?

I have this wish that I find a very powerful genie who is trapped in a lamp. I set it free and in return I become it’s master and instead of just 3 wishes and then the genie can go free, this is different. This genie is now forever mine to command and he can make every wish of mine come true. Anything at all including changing looks and appearances and shapes.

So I make wishes and my life changed. I become 6 inches taller, slimmer and more athletic. And my dick becomes much bigger. My bank balance grows as if I have won this large lottery. I can now buy a large luxury apartment and decorate it as I want. Heck I can buy 3 or 4 apartments and some houses. My parents, sister and her family and my cousins, aunts & uncles are all well looked after and they all get plenty of money to burn through for fun, courtesy of my wishes.

I get an expensive private jet and travel to all the places I have wanted to go and spend money there enjoying stays in the best hotels and indulging in niceties. Rome, Milan, Vancouver, New York, Montreal, LA, Las Vegas, Vienna, Singapore, Sydney, London etc. I also can attract any beautiful gorgeous woman I set my eyes on and fuck them in my beds. Give them the best sexual pleasure that they can ever imagine, and in some cases more than they ever imagined was possible. That is the life!

And that is my secret desire.

Prompt from 119 Journal Prompts for Your Journal Jar

Never Believed In Santa

How old were you when you stopped believing in Santa?

Err.. zero? Not being from a Christian family in a Western country, I never did believe in Santa Claus. I remember learning about Santa, seeing him in movies and tv shows and seeing people dressed up in Santa outfits handing out gifts but I have never believed that he was a real figure. Heck, at the age of 14 I even dressed up as Santa for school.

It seems very odd to me that parents in the West, especially the mothers in my observations, make a huge deal about Santa Claus for their kids and then make another big fuss about telling them that Santa isn’t real. Like “when do I tell my kids? What age is the correct one? I don’t think I am ready for my kids to know about Santa not being real?” Seriously there are so much other stuff worth worrying about and focusing your time on.

So no I never believed in Santa Claus. I have always known that he is made up and infact I researched the origins of Santa by the time that I had turned 13-14. But….Rudolf is real, right? Tell me he is, please!

Prompt from 31 December Writing Prompts at Mama Kat’s Losing it

We Need Replicators

What Would You Invent to Make the World a Better Place?

I have a couple of ideas. Replicators as seen in Star Trek TNG onwards! Think about it; we could wipe out poverty, hunger, homelessness in one giant swoop. We would no longer have anyone hungry if I could come up with one replicator that can then conjure up replicators for all. So you can replicate parts for big homes for everyone. No homelessness! Food and drink – and most importantly, all kinds of food and drink so you have all the choice in the world – without having to cook will be available, so no one goes hungry. Build that house, get some luxury in your life and sleep in peace after a nice meal.

And you also get access to medicine easily. No more going to a store or waiting for it to get delivered to you. Press a button, name your item and boom it is now there with you. Medicine and food for your pets. Want to host a impromptu party for your friends or relatives coming over? No more slaving in the kitchen. Create your own menu or a buffet or let the individual folks decide what they want to chow down on that day. Drinks party! Pizza party! Beer party! It would be so much fun.

Prompt from The Learning Network At The New York Times

Some Day, I Too!

Why Do We Like to Watch Rich People on TV and in the Movies?

It’s the very human behaviour of trying to think of ourselves as being in that position of wealth and fame. We look at rich people, they way they live and spend money, their cars, the way they dress, the way they travel and play and we want that as well. It’s simple and it’s the reason why people strive to do better.

Why do we buy lottery tickets? It’s the glimmer of hope that someday, with a lot of luck, I too may win the big bucks and then I will swim in it. I want a whole lotta money so I can buy a big, new house. Or a couple of large apartments. Give my family a break and buy them all the things that they want. When the pandemic is finally over, take them on a holiday. Give them luxuries that they deserve. Have a big party, the party to end all parties!

That’s why we love to see how the rich people live. Cause we also want to live that way or do it bigger & better.

Prompt from 401 Prompts for Argumentative Writing at The New York Times

What Role Will Robots Play In Our Future?

This is a tricky question for a scifi fanatic like me. Because we all know what the cylons in the reboot BSG do to the humans once they evolve past a certain stage.

Anyways, what I truly wish and hope that we do is that we get robots to do some tasks for us that are or can be dangerous. We make the robots in such a way that they are not damaged or ‘harmed” in any way when they do those tasks and jobs. Like for example security jobs and driving vehicles at night. Hey, since they will be programmed well we can totally avoid any sort or accidents and mishaps.

Then we should also look for making robots to be working trains, planes, cars – they won’t fall asleep or get tired late at night. It would be much safer. Then look at getting robots for residential and domestic help. Dad & mom could use a robot or two – with softer hands yet strong bodies – to help around the house and also to raise the kids. You need a feminine looking robot for help around the house and cooking, being nanny and helping to take care of the kids, feed them and do some of the housework. Along with a more masculine looking robot to help dad with his work, do some of the driving and helping with chores around the house as well as being companion to the dad while the female one is companion for the mum.

Hopefully by this time humans would have united and gotten rid of the poverty and crime and stand united as one race. We can then fully expect to travel the galaxy and see other planets and we will need protection from possible hostile alien races or just need help from the elements in other planets and moons. For that we will need militarized robots or robots that can wield weapons and fly our ships and other vehicles and help us. That is what I hope happens.

Prompt from 401 Prompts for Argumentative Writing at The New York Times

4 Day Weeks? Yes Please

Should the Week Be Four Days Instead of Five?

Yes please. I think in Finland or somewhere they have started implementing it and making the 4 day work week and 3 day weekends possible for a few companies and they found that productivity has improved. Don’t you too want that India?

India is a sucking work nation because a) a lot of companies make you work 6 days (so only Sunday holiday) b) they expect you to extend your work beyond the 9 hours without extra pay and c) you can be expected to drop everything else and work if needed even if you aren’t scheduled to work at that hour or day.

It would be best to have 3 day weekends. All the time. Saturday to party and drink, Sunday to recover – we need one more day. So give us Friday as well. Friday to party, Saturday to recover and Sunday to relax.

Prompt From 130 New Prompts for Argumentative Writing at The New York Times

Do We Crank Up The A.C. Too High?

I don’t think so. And it depends on where in the world you actually live. Over here, if anything it has actually become hotter and more humid each year. While the monsoon season has been very pleasant, with hardly any thunder and lightning this year but we have needed the ac cranked up during the end of February, March & April!

Boy was it hot. It was the most & humid than the past few years. I feel that it is getting worse each year. Each year passes and the weather here gets more hot and more humid. How the heck do people have sex in this weather without an AC? I mean they will slip and slide off each other with all that sweat and effort they have to do to have sex? I bet accidents would happen a lot during the March & April months. Hospital staff attending to broken bones and sprains asking how it happened? “We were having sex!” Staff “In the middle of April? Are you too fucking stupid?”

So I think we will be depending more and more on air-conditioners as the years go on and summers get worse and worse. Eventually we might need a suit with a built in ac just to get out of the home!

Prompt from 401 Prompts for Argumentative Writing at The New York Times

Should Everyone Learn At Least One Other Language?

Absolutely. I think everyone should learn their own language and one other. If your native language isn’t English, then learn English. If you can learn one more language, I would suggest Mandarin/Cantonese or French. If English if your native language learn French or Arabic or Spanish or Italian or Russian or Farsi or Greek or Mandarin/Cantonese or Japanese.

I speak 3 languages, two fluently and the other, Hindi, I have less practice speaking it and hence it isn’t as good. I cannot read and write Malayalam but I can speak it. That’s because I never learned to read and write it in school but obviously living here since the age of 11 I picked it up and that is what I speak most of the time. Hindi I learned in school but after that I have barely used it at all since we don’t speak Hindi here. It’s Malayalam and English.

It’s good to know more languages, in my opinion as it broadens your understanding of other cultures and also improves your communication with people of other nations.

Prompt from 401 Prompts for Argumentative Writing at the New York Times

10 Tips For Night Shift Work @ Home

The night shift. Most of us dread it and some fear it. There are some crazy souls who do like the night shift as they feel like their city takes on a whole different look and feel when they go out at the night time. I have trained a bunch of folks in Hyderabad who like the 9 pm to 6 am shift. That’s great for you crazy people. The rest of us have to prepare ourselves for it. So I am working a 10:30 pm to 7:30 am shift this week and possibly the next 2 more weeks as well.

Here are some of my tips for people in the night shift especially if you working from home:

1.Wear comfortable clothes – it doesn’t even matter if you are wearing you jammies. I wear my lungi, which are like Indian pyjamas, and a shirt. If I wore t-shirts then I would chose them instead.

2. Have you dinner by 8 or 8:30 pm. You do not want to feel very heavy right when you have to start your shift. And avoid heavy foods or spicy food as much as you can.

3. Arrange your breaks for every 2 hours, the same as you would have in a normal day shift. You need, deserve and have a right to those breaks. And walk around even if it just in your home or apartment during those breaks. Stretch if you can.

4. Make sure to drink a lot of water in between. Gotta stay hydrated. And avoid really cold water, though slightly chilled is fine.

5. For snacks try to get biscuits or fruit. I like what I call my “apple breaks” in that I keep chilled pieces of apple in my fridge and have them at 2 am or so. Keeps me feeling fresh. Grapes, pears and bananas are also awesome snacks.

6. Coffee or tea. Yeah, I need my caffine kick. But I have tried to keep it to just one coffee a night shift. Strong and black and usually at around 4 am which is when I start to feel a drowsy and tired.

7. Plan your breakfast. What I do is I give both myself and my batch of trainees, if I have one, a break at around 6 am. For them it will be breakfast is what I was told and for me it is to go and make my breakfast. I try to eat my breakfast at around that time or prepare something that I can eat quickly at 7:30 am. Soon as I finish the shift.

8. Don’t stay up after that. Breakfast done, I either go to bed straight away or lie in bed and watch a little tv until I feel my eyelids get heavy so I can sleep as much as I can.

9. Naps are great. If you haven’t got enough sleep during the day, a light nap will do wonders. This could be between the hours of 7 and 9. Not later than that.

10. Don’t go out during the day, unless it is a quick trip for groceries or anything else that you really need. I don’t want to feel even more tired than I actually need to be.

What Would You Do if You Won the Lottery?

What Would You Do if You Won the Lottery?

How much money? Let’s say that the money is Rs.609 million or Rs.60.9 crore; that is the largest lottery available in India accordingly to a Google search that I just did. So Rs. 60.9 crores is a huge amount of money. I would even be happy with 1 or 2 crore but for the sake of this blog post let’s take it that I do win that amount of money as lottery prize winnings.

Ok, so the tax will be around 30%, which be around 18 crores. Whew! that means I only get Rs.42.9 crores to take home. Still that is a huge, huge sum of money. Or what I could do is give some of it for charity meaning that it’s tax deductible and I can save some money there. But still I got over 42 crores! I am gonna get a huge mansion, decked out with all the bells and whistles. Luxury sofas, bed, massagers, huge pool, movie theatre, cars, Harley Davidsons, etc etc. And I’d get another one, a much bigger mansion and I’ll give that to my parents and sister and her family.

Then I would travel the world, on a big luxury liner and take my parents on a big ole holiday so they can see the places as well. Europe, parts of Asia, Australia and North America. And then I would retire and live out the rest of my life without worrying about money as I would have invested the rest of the cash and live off a luxury life with it.

Prompt from 650 Prompts for Narrative and Personal Writing at The New York Times

Newspaper Waste

When I go down to the lobby waiting for a food or grocery delivery or to pick up my mail/packages one of the things I notice that is piling up and pushed to one corner are newspapers. Every few days I check them out and find that they dates keep changing but the pile is still there. For example, this evening when I went to pickup the groceries from the delivery guy, I checked out the big pile of newspapers – some of them were from Monday & Tuesday. Someone is not picking up their paper!

This has been going on for a while. I guess someone, perhaps the president or secretary of the building is getting them thrown away after it keeps piling up. I have no clue as to why you would still be subscribing to the newspapers if you do not plan to read them or even pick them up and take them to your apartment. It’s a waste of paper and it’s ridiculous that they are just being wasted.

I guess in a few years the newspaper industry as a physical paper will eventually die down. It may take a lot longer in the case of developing nations like India because older people and people in the below poverty levels will want to get the newspaper as they cannot get used to digital media or don’t have the means to. But it will eventually die down someday.

Weddings Are A Smaller Affair Now

In the middle of this pandemic, there have been a few weddings (that I know of). A new recruit to our office in Hyderabad (who I trained for 3 weeks) just got married yesterday. There were less than 50 people (split equally amongst his and her family and with Covid-19, weddings are restricted to 50 people per event), it was not done in a temple but in a hall (so that the gods don’t catch Corona) and it was a pretty dignified and quiet affair.

Weddings can happen this way too. I don’t like crowds and would prefer something like this – a quiet non-crowded way. You also don’t need a ton of gold and a poojari and a bunch of religious rituals that are nonsense at best. You need to have a 300 plus crowd and saying hello and namaste to people who you have barely met before and probably a ton of folks who you haven’t met either.

If you are for large weddings, more power to you. To each his own.

Pissed Off At India Post

Really irritated by India Post. At times I think the postmen’s brain is located in their assholes! Fucking morons.

Every other package and letter is left on the table in front of the building. I have been waiting for a package that has been hard to find and especially with a lot of sellers on Amazon & eBay not shipping to some parts of Asia and India. Then I find this item for sale from a seller and it’s cheap! Yay, but its been here in Kochi for several days and the postman leaves a note on the tracking “Door is closed”.

What the fuck, asshole? Leave it there and I will pick it up.

Coffee Table Books

I am confused by the nature of coffee table books. I mean, why would you have a book, that is probably more expensive that the regular ones, as a decoration item for your living room furniture? I mean, I like having nice books in my collection but coffee table books for the sake of having something on your table?

A coffee table book is an oversized, usually hard-covered book whose purpose is for display on a table intended for use in an area in which one entertains guests and from which it can serve to inspire conversation or pass the time. Subject matter is predominantly non-fiction and pictorial (a photo-book). Pages consist mainly of photographs and illustrations, accompanied by captions and small blocks of text, as opposed to long prose.

When I look at some of the titles and covers that some people have in their home, it looks like they bought those books because someone else told them to and not because they wanted to read it or go through it themselves. Or they wanted something pretty for the coffee table and someone suggested “Why not get some coffee table books” and they went into a book store or went online and bought some books based on the covers and not the content. Aren’t we not supposed to judge a book by it’s cover though. Granted some coffee table books, especially based on photography are gorgeous inside and out and so if you like the subject matter, go for it. I have a few that I would like as well.

What was that idea and book that Cosmo Kramer came out with in Seinfeld? A coffee table book about coffee tables. And it’s full of pictures of celebrities coffee tables and then Kramer responds with “if u dont have a coffee table, it turns into one!” Hahaha. Now that is a book I would want on my table.

What Animal Are You Most Like?

I am a loyal and good friend.

I can wait for hours and hours just to be with you and will welcome you with lots of love. I will also tell you how much I missed you.

I get upset when you are not around and will usually spend my time apart from you lying in wait for the moment that I see you again. I might nap during that time but I will have dreams of you.

I would love to play with you. I also love to cuddle with you and that is probably my favourite thing to do. I love to lay on the comfy bed and spoon with you as we watch movies and later drift off to sleep.

I just realized that I am a dog! A sweet, loving and loyal Golden Retriever!

Prompt from Prompts for Narrative and Personal Writing at The New York Times

Finish this sentence: Life is to0 short to…

Life is too short to waste while worrying about pleasing everyone. Especially people who don’t care about you!

Life is too short to worry about death! Or what you think will happen after death!

Life is too short to pander to political & religious assholes!

Life is too short to worship a genocidal, ego maniacal, pedophile, war morning, mass murdering holier than thou asshole!

Life is too short to try and life it for someone else. No matter who! We got just one life to live!

Life is too short to waste it on bad music, bad movies & tv shows! Watch/listen to what you love, no matter if it was from a time before you were born!

Life is too short to not be yourself!

Prompt from 31 Days Of Writing Prompts For August at the SitsGirls