Changes

Life is a series of beginnings and endings. We leave one job to start another; we quit cities, countries, or continents for a fresh start; we leave lovers and begin new relationships. What was the last thing you contemplated leaving? What were the pros and cons? Have you made up your mind? What will you choose?

I’m actually down in the dumps right now. I’ve always wanted to have a good life, a great life. I’ve wanted to be able to live a comfortable and easy going life not over extravagant or one of being very wealthy with lots of cash to burn. But just a nice, comfortable with enough choices and not worrying about bills and/or spending a little extra on a few luxuries. And ofcourse I would want along with that financial security a happy home life with a loving woman who would be my life & love partner and maybe a couple of dogs and cats.

I am no where near my dream. These last couple of years has bee the worst of my life. What started in 2011 as a risky experiment turned out to be a disaster and I have just not been able to recover from that. Your mid to late 30s is not when you want to be broke and miserable and not knowing when the next cash flow is going to come. Only after that is solved can I even start to think about fixing other things and even trying to work on other aspects of my life. I’m very upset with myself and my situation and I’m not sure when things will change but I hope it will be soon cause I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

I’ve been considering leaving this place and making a big leap but I know that it will most probably not turn out well for me and I am scared. I’m going to wait it out and see. If I can just keep myself together and my sanity in check for a couple of more months maybe things will work out.

Prompt from the Daily Post at WordPress.com.

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