“I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.”
“How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!”
“I’ve got a great joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.”
“I used to hate facial hair…but then it grew on me.”
“I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!”
“I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I’ve never looked back since.”
“You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.”
“What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.”
“I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!”
“Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!”
“If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”
“I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!”