Dancing In The Dark

How do you prefer to dance? Alone with no one watching? With a group of good friends? Or intimately with a partner?

Like this! See, it’s fun, it’s a bit sexy and you can’t resist me when I dance naked for you! A little dirty dancing or Lambada baby?

Ok, I can’t dance. Just like Genesis, I can’t dance. I can stand in one place – which works really well for a fat guy like me – and move my arms around in a circular motion that seems like a dance routine that is very popular with people like me who have two left feet. I don’t like dance related shows, or dancing songs or dance related stuff. I’m not a guy who likes dancing. And when people tell me “You know dancing is great, it can be almost like sex with your clothes on” and cliched stuff like that I reply “Oh yeah? Great for you hommie. I prefer the real deal, i.e; sex without any clothes on or actual sex!”

So when people swoon over Samba and the Tango I laugh at their expressions and the cheesy fake smiles, awful music and atrociously bad lyrics. When the hiphoppers wave their hands and shake their booties, I laugh at the ‘pretend to be gangsta’ stuff and the movements and expressions that resemble someone taking a dump in the loo. And don’t even get me started on Indian dances! So when I do dance to a song that puts me in a particularly dancing mood, it’s usually when I am alone and no one is watching or it’s rather dark and you can’t see me.

Otherwise if you see me dancing, I’ve had probably too many vodkas to drink!

Prompt from The One-Minute Writer!

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