What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
An old woman walked into a dentist’s office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, “I think you have the wrong room.” “You put in my husband’s teeth last week,” she replied. “Now you have to remove them.”
What’s the process of applying for a job at Hooters? They just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out.”
What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin’ off!
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, “Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!” The woman says, “Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!”