Dracula 2012 3D (Malayalam)

I hardly watch any Malayalam films anymore. I have never reviewed a Malayalam film in my life as a blogger (from September 2002 onwards) even though Malayalam is my native tongue. That shall change today. Dracula 2012 3D is a 2013 Malayalam 3-D feature film directed by Vinayan, starring Sudheer Sukumaran, Prabhu, Monal Gajjar, Nassar, Shraddha Das and Thilakan. This was one of the last movies of veteran character actor Thilakan who passed away before the release of the film.

Roy Thomas and his new bride Lucy are in Romania on their honeymoon, as Count Dracula enthusiast Roy made a detour in their plans to take an additional 3 days while on the way to England. They visit Bran Castle, the Count’s original castle,  and that evening Roy calls his former guru, a powerful Swami (Tamil actor Nasser) who conducts exorcisms to rid demons from people, to ask if it is possible to contact dead spirits using the rituals he learned from the Swami. His guru replies in the affirmative so Roy leaves his wife to go shopping the next day while he goes back to the castle and sits in a dungeon like room with his pooja stuff and attempts to contact the spirit of Count Dracula – which the idiot is successful in. First of all the Romanian authorities would never let some layman come in and conduct his own experiments in the castle! Ok, so the spirit of Dracula comes, thanks Roy for awakening him, takes the form of a ridiculous looking CGI hairy vampire, attacks Roy and lets his spirit enter the man. Roy is now Dracula! He then goes to visit his wife Lucy, who is soaking in the bathtub while wearing a large towel, and drinks her blood and converts her into a vampire.

Roy’s family panics back home in Kerala when they get word that both he & his wife have disappeared from their hotel. His brother, Benny Thomas, is an Assistant Commissioner of the local police and uses his political contacts to get a search conducted for his missing brother and sister-in-law. Meanwhile Dracula / Roy, using the alias Prof. William D’Souza, has made his way to Kerala having arranged for his belongings, including some coffins, to be shipped to an old, scary looking house. Raju, who works for the agency that arranged the shipping of his belongings strikes a friendship with the Count and stays overnight when some wild dogs attack him on his way out. Dracula is stunned when he sees a photo of Raju’s lover Meena (also his cousin who just so happens to be the younger of the Swami’s two daughters and a resident at a nearby hospital) as Meena looks just like the Count’s wife back when he was human. You know the story, her death caused him to…get violent and drink blood that comes out of the knee of a statue of Christ on a cross? OK! Dracula invites both Raju and Meena to a dinner party the next evening, stopping for a few minutes to kill Betty, a woman who recognizes him as Roy. Lucy, now a vampire, goes to visit Roy’s young niece and bites her but is interrupted by the arrival of Benny. By this time, news of Roy & Lucy’s disapperance has made the local bishop contact bishops in Romania who arrive at Benny’s house with Dr. Paul Robinson, a Malayalaee Indian psychiatrist, who just so happens to have been practicing his trade in Romania for the past 25 years!

The bishops, who are Indian actors trying badly to make up a foreign sounding accent, tell them what happened to Roy – how the fuck do they know what happened? – and have come with Dr. Robinson (huh? is that a Malayalee Indian name?) to convince the family that Roy is now possessed by Dracula. Dr. Robinson, played by veteran Tamil actor Prabhu, acts like a buffon and comes to the same conclusion himself (how you ask? In his own words “Romania…..so Dracula…vanish” ok solved!) and joined the bishops. Meena now is haunted by the Count, dreaming about him every night. So now we meet Taraa (sexy Shradhaa Das), Meena’s older sister who is a sultry chick wearing some of the most revealing saris I have ever seen in my life, herself a powerful poojari/ priestess. She meets Dracula / Roy and unwittingly reveals that she is conducting a powerful pooja deep in the forests (as her father is away) to protect her family & household. To convince us, Dracula is driven away by the image of two poisonous snakes, when he tries to attack Taraa from behind. So he must stop her from completing the rituals. This priestess, dressed in a clingy little outfit, does a song & dance item number in the jungle for the snakes! Hahaha – but before she can finish the routine, she is attacked by Dracula. Later at the hospital, Dr. Robinson convinces the head doctor to have crucifixes and garlic kept in Taraa’s room but at night she has the nurse take them away as she finds the smell terrible and says as the cross symbol is not part of Hinduism, she does not believe it.

Dracula comes and drinks her blood and she dies only to rise as a vampire herself later in the night. Benny, who was standing guard outside sees Dracula and is shocked to find that it is his brother Roy. The two fight but Dracula escapes with Taraa and takes her to a coffin in his lair. Later the Swami comes home to find his older daughter dead and using his powers finds out that Dracula is infact Roy using the alias Prof William D’souza! The Swami, Dr. Robinson, Benny & Raju go to the house to confront Dracula and find the dungeon / lair. Also it is first time that I have seen two vampires getting into the coffin from elsewhere just as it is about to turn dark! Benny & Robinson kill Lucy by driving a stake through her heart while the Swami has a showdown with Dracula. Dracula leaves to go find Meena at her house, while the others kill vampire Taraa. Swami passes on his powers to Raju and tells him to go rescue Meena. Dracula meanwhile is making Meena drink his blood and is chased by Raju & Robsinson. Benny & Swami are killed by drowning as they chase Dracula. Robinson & Raju use Meena’s pyschic connection as a GPS to find the Count in an old cemetery where there is a fight between Raju & the Count. As daylight breaks Raju & Robinson open up a gravestone where Dracula had tried to hide in to escape the sunlight and is killed. End of a terrible film.

Terrible CGI, terrible story, terrible acting in a terrible movie. Thilakan overacts as a madman in Kerala who somehow has been waiting for Dracula to reappear. And he vanishes towards the end, into thin air! There is a lot of overacting – Prabhu looks foolish, the Swami thinks his shawl is a superhero’s cape and has powers of it’s own, the women are terrible actors but meant mainly for eye candy. And people keep overdoing the refering to Dracula as “Prince of Darkness”! There’s a lot of kissing of the forehead – hey this is an Indian movie from Kerala after all – and lip to lip kissing is kept to a bare touch. No French kissing at all! There’s a couple of song & dance numbers (“Prince of darkness, I love you” goes the lyrics) C’mon Dracula! It is a ridiculous effort from director Vinayan and the legend of Dracula must be pissed off at this pathetic excuse of a film. I will give it….a grudging 3 outta 10! But I did laugh out loudly quite a lot during this film

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