So all you Malayalees out there think you know the truth about Onam? This is what actually happened
The Devas : Hey Vishnu, the people of Kerala are so upset right now?
Vishnu : Yo dudes! How come?
The Devas : They don’t have anything to celebrate. All the festivals are of the people from other states. They don’t have any festival to claim as their own. This brings out depression & suicide rates are so high. You gotta do something, amigo! The humans think that you are useless. It’s affecting your popularity.
Vishnu : Ok, Ok! Don’t get your knickers in a twist! Let me think of somethingÂ compadres. Hey, I think that king dude, what’s his name, is down there? Maveli. Let me pay him a visit. Servants, give me a disguise!
A few days later….
Maveli : Ha, see that little shit over there? That pygmy walking about like he knows it all. That is Vishnu in disguise. I bet he has come here for a favour. Every time he comes down to Earth, it’s either to kill someone, have sex with numerous females or ask a favour. He has already done the first two things this year. It’s gotta be a favour.
Vamana aka Vishnu aka pygmy : Greetings Maveli. Yo man, I need a favour. Can you, like, go to hell, so that the people of Kerala can mourn you? Then you can come back once a year, so they will be happy and celebrate it. They love you, homie. They can make it a festival and look forward to it and eat lots of food. What do ya say? Please dude, I don’t know what else to do. I’m begging you. Let’s do it.
Maveli : Ok, alright don’t cry. But you gotta make up some story. They won’t believe that you had to sink so low and come here to beg me a favour. The last stupid thing u did was dress in drag and get Shiva all so horny and then you guys did it and had that son. So think of some story to go along with it.
Vamana aka Vishnu aka pygmy : Yeah , yeah. Don’t worry. My slaves will write up a story to fool people. They won’t know what hit them. It will be a grand success. So you ready. Bend down!
Maveli : Whoa! Dude, I don’t know you that well!
Vamana aka Vishnu aka pygmy : No, no! Not that. Shiva can do that for me. I just need to push you down to hell. And don’t forget, come back every year around the same time.
Vamana pushes Maveli down with his foot and sends him to hell.
And that’s how we came to celebrate Onam!