I I know that I must stop doing this. But somehow like a moth to a flame I keep headed for disaster. I am setting myself up for pain. I know not why I am cash register desk unable to control these feelings. Every time I try to stay away, keep a distance, I get drawn in somehow.
There’s no escaping from this. I dunno why I fall for someone when I know that I am gonna be hurt anyway. Guys like me, don’t get girls like her. And guys like me were meant to be alone. I haven’t opened up about this girl. No one really knows. She doesn’t have a clue.
I thought that if I keep quite about it and don’t confess anything to anyone, not even my friends, then the feelings will go away. I know its silly of me to start feeling anything remotely like this. But on certain days, my heart aches & breaks.
I want to say something so badly and yet I shouldn’t. I want to be able to find that happiness. But I know that its not possible. So I resign myself to being quite, occupying myself with other things.
Being alone. I almost said something to her today. But I held myself. Cause if I do, I know that I’ll be headed for a heartbreak. Who needs one?