Does every couple, married or just living together, have to have children? And by that I mean make babies. Is it really a biological urge for most humans to want to reproduce, for women to want to be mothers and give birth and for men to want to have a child who they can raise & provide for? I ask this because it seems that way with some exceptions, and I count myself to be one of the few who do not really have a desire to have kids. But what gets me is that this lack on interest in making babies is considered to be abnormal, a sin and even selfish by some people who are quite vocal about their opinion about you not wanting to make more people.
I think I have mentioned my arguments with friends & colleagues who vehemently “disapprove’ of my preference of not even wanting to have kids if and when I do get married and saying that my mind will change once I have kids of my own. That is a stupid argument because if I’d have to change my mind to have kids in the first place! Also if say, after I get married, and I happen to get my wife pregnant without us both actually meaning to have a child, and we do go ahead with the pregnancy and have the child – I think I’m enough of a stand up guy that I will definitely take care of the baby and raise it properly and provide all that I can for the child and love it immensely. Also please remember my point was that I wasn’t interested in ever having children – I never said that they or anyone else shouldn’t have kids or that it was worthless to have any. If they want to procreate – hey who am I to stand in the way? I just don’t want any myself and no I do not think it to be selfish!
But while we are on the subject I’ll tell you what selfish is – if, like a lot of Indians, a lot of Malayalees do, is to make kids just because you are expected to and people will ask you why you don’t have kids and you want to avoid the question! Or really stupid is to make kids not because you want them but because your parents want to play with grandkids or they are forcing you to produce some! I’ve even been told by some people that they have kids because they want someone to take care of them in their old age – how the fuck is that not being selfish? I will not ever get married or have kids for anyone else, not even my parents, unless I want it myself. That’s because it’s the wrong thing to do and it’s not fair on your spouse or kids or to yourself. Yes I do want to get married, I wish I already was and I wish it is to some woman who truly love me and wants to be with me and vice versa. I do not think I can ever get married to someone just for the sake for doing it – that’s just not me! Do it if you want to but that’s not for me! Me not you but me! Someday I hope to find my woman and I will settle down and get married if that’s what she wants to. And if we so choose to we might get a dog or a cat or two dogs and two cats, maybe some birds and some fish in a tank! And if we so choose to have babies we will. That’s none of anybody’s else’s business.