Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.
There are two times a man does’nt understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage!
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course…at least he’ll shut up after you let him in!
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all !
A husband said to his wife, “No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.”
A man who muttered a few words in the church, found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced!
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” She replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”