Although I came to know about this in January, I kept it buried in my mind for the last few months. It didn’t seem like a big deal, an inconsequential piece of drivel said by someone I would not be able to identify in a lineup even if my life depended on it. But it did affect me. I didn’t know it at the time but yes it did affect me.
Some of you readers would know my cousin Sujith and I came know about this through him. See, around the same time that I came to know Sujith, he introduced me, online only, to our then 16/17 year old niece (who is the daughter of my second cousin). Now I have never met my second cousin, or atleast I would have probably met her but can’t remember her, but I got to know this niece over gtalk mainly because she has an awesome taste in music and she sings. However a few months later she cut all contact with me without an explanation. I tried contacting her but she was never online it seemed. Gradually I forgot about her; didn’t seem like a big deal.
When Sujith and I met in January, he told me that the reason this niece of ours stopped chatting with me because of her grandmother, who is my mom’s first cousin. She, her grandmother, said that it wasn’t advisable to keep contact with the “likes” of me and because I have a “bad reputation”! Now I’m no angel and I never pretended to be. I’ve make my mistakes and I’ve made quite a few. But the last controversial thing I did was way back when I was 18 years old and I’m gonna turn 34 in 3 months! The only other thing I can think of that some people in the family would not like is that I’m an atheist and do not go to any temple at all. Is that it lady?
Now, this cousin of my mom’s is someone I can’t remember having met. I can’t remember having met her. So….what the fuck does she know about me? And who the hell is this bitch that she can pass such judgment about me. Fuck you! Are you so fucking perfect that everyone else is so below you? I don’t get it, she does not even know me. And then a few weeks ago, I spoke to my mom about it and she didn’t care. According to her, first I must correct my wrongs. Gee, thanks mom. I didn’t realize that everyone in your family except you son is perfect. But that is always how it has been; her family, and by that I mean everyone her generation and above always passes judgments cause they have the sun, the moon and the stars shining outta their asses! I’ve felt this hypocrisy my entire life and I’m tired of it.
So to this cousin of my aunt, screw you!! Kiss my fucking ass bitch. You better hope that we never get to meet in a family function cause I’ll tell you what I think of you.