There once was a man named Harry
Whose balls were so very scary
When he would take a piss
He would moan and hiss
Because it was too heavy to carry.
There was a guy I wanted to be mine
so I told him “You be six and I’ll be nine”
“we can have fun and then a Lay
Yes, I’m talking to you Joe Day!”
Then he said “Damn you’re fine!!!”
There was a young lady named Hilda
who went on a date with a builder –
he asked if he should –
she said that he could –
so he did, and very near killed her!
There was a young man from Calcutta
who peeked through a hole in a shutter,
all he could see
was a prostitute’s knee,
and the bum of the chap that was up her!
When her daughter got married in Bicester,
Her mother remarked as she kissed her,
“That fellow you’ve won,
Is sure to be fun,
Since tea he’s fucked me and your sister.”
There once was a lady from France
Who kept a baboon in her pants
half the people who saw
couldn’t help but guffaw
but the rest of them asked her to dance.
I sat with the Dutchess at tea
She said “Do you fart when you pee?”
I said with some whit
“Do you belch when you shit?”
And thought it was one up for me!
There once was a man from Montanna
Who said he could play the pianna
His finger slipped
His zipper ripped
And out came a hairy banana