….once contemplated suicide. When I say contemplate I mean I actually went to the roof of this 7 story building and thought about jumping off to my death. When I think back now I think I was just silly although at the time I had tears streaming down my face and thought that life wasn’t worth it. The feeling was short lived and after about an hour clarity hit me and I went back to my apartment.
I remember that I was all alone that entire day and it in the afternoon that I thought of ending my life. I remember making lunch, which was instant noodles that I ate from a bowl sitting in the balcony.
I’ve never told a soul about it until just now as I write in this blog.
For some reason I will always associate the Barenaked Ladies song Baby Seat with this day & my brief contemplation of ending my life. I happened to be listening to that song just before going up to the roof top. While I was standing there crying and envisioning jumping off the roof and falling down on the roof, the song was playing in my head.
“You can’t live your life in the baby seat, You’ve got to stand on your own, Don’t admit defeat”