Valentine’s day is hard for the single and lonely. It’s harder when you are single and lonely and you do have feelings for someone who does not share it. Over the years I have fallen in love, been loved and been heart broken. I have had unrequited love and affection and I have had my crushes. But I have always been the one at the losing end.
At times I have come to feel and even accept the fact that I will forever be alone. I am not good enough or lucky enough to find that one woman who will love me and be with me for the rest of her life. I have had incredible bad luck in this department which led me to understand that it will never work out for me. I have been searching….well not really searching more like waiting for the right one. But I always fall for the wrong one. I found myself at the age of 40 falling for a much young woman. She is everything I could have ever hoped for. But for several reasons, ofcourse the age being the biggest thing, I know it was not possible even from the very first day that I started feeling something for her.
It has made me feel guilty as well for having these feelings. I was ok for a while, having settles into bachelor life and my loneliness and suddenly it all turned tospy-turvy. I shouldn’t have to go through this yet again. But it did happen. Someday this will pass. But until that day that I can move on, I carry on. Once again.