Rapture : Of, By & For The Zombies

Today, May 21st, is supposed to be Judgment Day and the coming of the Rapture. According to the Bible. So better take heed. So what is this rapture? After a brief study online, here is what I have come up with.

The Second Coming of Christ will occur in stages. First, He will remove all Christians from the Earth, to protect them. This is called “The Rapture.” The term comes from the Latin verb raptare, and the Greek word harpizo, both meaning “to be caught up” or “to be snatched up.” Jesus will “snatch us” out of harm’s way.

So, I’m not getting a ticket on the Jesus train, cause I’m not a christian. Worse, I’m an Atheist. Yes – capital A, small c. Forget about his second coming, I was never sold on the first one either.

On May 21st, 1988, God finished using the churches and congregations of the world. The Spirit of God left all churches and Satan, the man of sin, entered into the churches to rule at that point in time. The Bible teaches us that this awful period of judgment upon the churches would last for 23 years. A full 23 years (8400 days exactly) would be from May 21 st, 1988 until May 21st, 2011. This information was discovered in the Bible completely apart from the information regarding the 7000 years from the flood.

Ok, so if this is right, anyone who went into a church from May 21st, 1988 till today were worshiping in a godless place. Huh, must explain all those molestations of alter boys by them Catholic priests! Cause Satan was there instead. So he made them priests do all that molesting. Makes sense. So get this religious Christians, you were basically worshiping Mr. Lucifer for these past 23 years (if you went into a church). Now that’s something to think about!

By God’s grace and tremendous mercy, He is giving us advanced warning as to what He is about to do. On Judgment Day, May 21st, 2011, this 5-month period of horrible torment will begin for all the inhabitants of the earth. It will be on May 21st that God will raise up all the dead that have ever died from their graves. Earthquakes will ravage the whole world as the earth will no longer conceal its dead (Isaiah 26:21). People who died as saved individuals will experience the resurrection of their bodies and immediately leave this world to forever be with the Lord. Those who died unsaved will be raised up as well, but only to have their lifeless bodies scattered about the face of all the earth. Death will be everywhere.

All the dead that have ever died will rise from their graves? Good for us Hindus – we burn our dead ;) That’s finality. We don’t take chances!

So basically we will have the mother of all zombie fest. I’m getting my camera and making the  biggest Hollywood blockbuster EVER!

3 thoughts on “Rapture : Of, By & For The Zombies

  1. Isn’t it amazing how popular zombies are at the moment? They’ve really made a comeback. Maybe everyone’s just sick of vampires and werewolves!

  2. Vampires are the coolest! I’d rather be a vampire and seduce the sexy women and make them come under my spell. Who cars for stinking zombies or smell hairy werewolves? And oh if I do become a vampire, Selma & Meleah, better make sure you have garlic hanging over your doors & windows!! ;)

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