Rock Of Ages

2012 saw the release of a rock musical movie – Rock Of Ages  is an adaptation of the 2006  rock  jukebox Broadway musical of the same name by Chris D’Arienzo. The movie is directed by Adam Shankman and has stars country singer Julianne Hough and Diego Boneta as the lead pair with an ensemble cast of Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand, Paul Giamatti, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Malin Akerman and Tom Cruise supporting them. The film features the music of several 1980s rock artists including Def Leppard, Journey, Scorpions, Poison, Foreigner, Guns N’ Roses, Pat Benatar, Joan Jett, Bon Jovi, David Lee Roth, Twisted Sister, Whitesnake, and others.

Here’s what I like about the movie:

  • It’s about the love of rock music. It’s got several great songs in it and some cool cover versions. It’s rock, hard rock and soft rock. For a rock & metal fan that’s awesome in a movie! Althought, for being set in the year 1987, some of the songs were originally released post that year. But hey, it’s entertainment!
  • Tom Cruise – he is awesome as the famed rock star Stacee Jaxx. Looks wise, he pulls off a Bret Michaels but the character is all his own and hey Tom can sing! His duet with Malin Akerman, the song I Wanna Know What Love Is by Foreigner is really good. He also is able to look the part.
  • Alec Baldwin is believable as the aging rocker who helped Stacee Jaxx and his band Arsenal get their first shot at stardom and set the ball rolling for them. I’ve always like seeing the eldest Baldwin brother in film and television.
  • Always a pleasure to see Malin Akerman – she does sing well and does a nice gyrating dance with Cruise. Hot bod Malin!
  • Paul Giamatti – is it just me or does he sound just like his character in Tim Burton’s Planet Of The Apes. He just sounds and acts a lot like that. But he was great as the sleazy manager.
  • Watching Kevin Nash after a long time. Big Sexy plays a non-vocal part as one of Stacee’s bodyguards!
  • The monkey that Stacee has in his entourage – deserves and Oscar for best animal in a movie!

Now what I didn’t like about the movie:

  • Having a pop style & country pop style singer doing hard rock numbers – come on! Both Boneta & Hough have good voices but they don’t have good rock music voices. Especially Julianne who even manages to irritate me with some Christina Aguilera style nasally vocal style.
  • Mary J Blige for Rock of Ages – what the fuck? And her hairstyles, sheesh! I can never stand her singing or her music or her!
  • Catherine Zeta-Jones was miscast in this movie. Her dance & singing and her facial expressions seem painful and she just looks out of sorts in this movie. Just watch her during the song in the church, Hit Me With Your Best Shot!
  • The uncomfortable gay love thing between Dennis & his right hand man Lonny – Russel Brand is just ridiculous! Baldwin & Brand look stiff during their love being addressed. And I thought Brand was miscast as well. Oh well, he is a rocker!
  • Overall the story is so cliched and cheesy and it fails.

I was really excited about this movie until I heard that it bombed. Now I usually do not let things like box office and rating deter me from giving it an unbisased viewing and a chance but I have to agree. This could have been so much better. A shame really. 6.5 outta 10! Watch it just for Tom Cruise.

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