Short Dirty Jokes

  • “What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? A tearjerker.”
  • “What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin’ off.”
  • “What do you call an expert fisherman? A master baiter.”
  • “What do you call a nanny with breast implants? A faux-pair.”
  • “What do you call a guy with a small penis? Just-in.”
  • “Do you like sales? Because clothing is 100% off at my place.”
  • “I wish you were my big toe. Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house.”
  • “‘You’re cute’ has U in it, but ‘quickie’ has U and I together.”
  • “Do you do carpeting? Because I’m looking for a deep shag.”
  • “Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.”
  • “How is playing bridge similar to sex? If you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.”
  • “How is life like a penis? It sometimes get hard when you least expect it.”
  • “Did you hear about the man who ejaculated without a penis? He came out of nowhere.”
  • “Why does Santa have such a heavy sack? He only comes once a year.”
  • “How is a thunderstorm similar to sex? You never know how many inches you will get or how long it will last.”

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