They say that when you die you become closer to God.
Because you no longer fucking exist, right?
Why is it that when you talk to God, it’s called praying?
Whenever God talks to me, they call it schizophrenia.
Why did God make man before He made woman?
Because He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
The first commandment states: “I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”
But two of the seven deadly sins are vanity and envy. Fucking Hypocrite!
According to the Bible, God killed 2,391,421 people and Satan only killed 10.
Anyone else think we might be following the wrong guy?
Why doesn’t God ever answer your emails?
He’s more into knee-mail.