Superstitions Should Be Renamed Stupidstitions

“Keep on walking that road and I’ll follow, keep on calling my name I’ll be there
And if a mirror should break, it’s easy to take, cause deep down I know that you care
Well I’m not superstitious” – Europe

No I’m not superstitious in the least bit. Unless you count the fact that I always seem to put my socks on my left foot first and then the right foot all the time – it’s an unconscious thing but when I remember I change it! I can’t remember having superstitions as a child but it’s hard to remain without one in India. This land makes the superstitious people in the rest of the world hang their head in shame. We have superstitions about superstitions. And our elders did their best to encourage it! They feed you this shit and hope you carried it forward to the next generation. And if you didn’t, they’d step in and take over! I guess it goes hand in hand with being religious and overly religious people tend to have more superstitions. It’s like shit & urine, they just go well together.

My elders tried to make me & my cousins superstitious – “if you swing your legs, bad things happen to your uncles!” It didn’t work with me! If I happened to be pissed off with one or more of my uncles, I’d swing my legs like crazy! “Don’t open an umbrella inside the house, don’t whistle inside the house! Oh and the specially fucked up one – looking an idol or picture of God as soon as you open your eyes in the morning will bring good luck for that day – they didn’t bank on me being an atheist and rejecting that crap idea as soon as I turned 13! Accepting or giving things with the left hand – is it because we clean our asses with our left hand after we poop? Cause I always make sure to wash my hands thoroughly with a lot of soap or sanitizer! Oh – calling out someone by their name just as they are leaving the house! I had a member of my team at my previous office who would come back into the office, sit down, drink a little water and only then leave again if you called out her name as she was leaving the office! I am not kidding. Imagine how much fun I had calling her name multiple times in an evening just when she wants to leave for her home!

Oh yeah – a new bride walking into her husband’s house for the first time after marriage should step in with her right leg first! Cutting nails, hair-cutting, shaving or stitching cloth after sun set is a bad practice! I could on and on! If a black cat cross your path, it’s because it’s trying to get to the other side!! Nothing else. Oh I remember an uncle of mine getting eggs pelted at him and then having to do a few poojas to ward off the “evil effects”. A shower and shampoo would have done the trick in no time!

Anways, now that I am done with this post, let me jump up from my seat, turn around 3 times and yell “agogodadamamatata” as I do it, while the post is being published. Brings good luck :)

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